On The Eve Of My Baby's 10th Birthday!

On the eve of my Baby's Birthday...what can I gift him...

There's so much darkness & pain...such that words too fail. In the events of my life I've seen and experienced both sides. Where a world of human mind deems it rightful to walk over souls...& at any cost fulfil their baseless wants, While the needs of Love lights up the corners that shadows have engulfed & soaked.

There's this place in my heart, where so much is left unsaid, where shadows of ghostly past has taken away much. On the verge where my spirit too feels subjugated and depression may just be another word in your dictionary, that I battle through days. But what it is to live like when someone has stripped you down to your spirit.

Are ones desires more important then another's life???

"What gives you the right, to take control over mine?"

My words are piercing like the glistening light on sword, because through my deepest silence, God whispers them to pierce your soul. Humans know only to demand and take, I've been time and again reminded of my shortcomings, battling through chronic pain, which in their eyes are magnified as failures...why because my existence no longer serves them.

"Does God breathe life in a body, so that another may Claim Servitude!"

Not that I'd see myself through those belittle eyes, but words have such power, and time and again I've been made to feel small...such that somewhere down 18years, those mocking, judgmental, sub-anger-wrathful words starts to take away the life of ones Spirit. I've seen a world where many souls who've been through untold pain, receive love and acknowledgement in the form of kindness. Yet! I've not experienced that, for where I sit, the world seems to have lost its Innate-Self...And just in those dark moments, where light seemed bleak...As I was not only battling physical pain, but mentally and emotionally too was draining...I reached a point...where nothing made sense........

And I tried to end my life.........

If Not for the Love of this beautiful soul -Coco, I wouldn't have made it, to be able to write these words that God himself breathes.

He was barely two months old, when he came to me; he gave wings to my maternal love and made me a woman far stronger than anyone who'd thought I'd make it through.

This place is my heart that I share with you all, shadows of untold pain, glistening with golden light that my son- Coco breathes in me...For he never once gave up on me!!!

These pockets of light, are a reminder that on his 10th birthday, which falls tomorrow - 31st October 2018, my life, is "His-gift!"

And to have him each day besides through these darkest time of my life...where this body is constantly going through such downfall, his light of Love, alone is all I need!

On His Birthday what can I gift him, when my life is "His-gift!"

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Copyright Meghna/2018