To The Blue In My Eyes!

Let all my shadows of pain

Dwindle Now...

Let My Soul Rest...In His Embrace Let the Blue of my spirit...

Ink his sky & on a bed of white clouds...O! Let me lay & smile!

For this journey has been too long

Where my tears have cried!

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It's been close to a week with no communication with Atul since he's in Kashmir & it's been some real tough days. Not only given the sensitive situation, but even more so because of the downhill of my health.

It's not like I've always been able to talk to him...in-fact back then when he would be off for 2-3months & cell phone calls were highly taxing, I've sailed through those times with barely any form of communication

But with my illness going downhill it's different. Coco has come in the most crucial phase of my life. He chose to come at a time when this body is collapsing considerably & I live in restrictions. How do I even make one understand what it is, when you wish to paint but can't, wish to walk, cycle but can't. Wish to dance, to just be able to go out on your own without the thought of weather I'll be able to reach the place & be back home safe.

Where this wait has been too long, as Coco & I have to rely on Atul if we have to step out of the colony to do anything. Where the other day I could barely even sit up & had no strength & all you do is lay, wanting to get up, yet unable to. In times like these, cuddles with Coco are my breaths.

I've kept enough patience for a person who was barely 25years of age when her life turned around. Enough fortitude, but in times like this I've been constantly missing my dad. He would often get worried if Atul would take such assignments. I miss that oneness we shared.

Though I've lived my life on faith, for you cannot control anything having a first hand experience through this autoimmune disease, you just let go in Surrender

Through this moment I wish to breathe a new life for Coco & me, where all my pain dissolves in a peace of new beginning. Where nothing ever stops me & this wait can bloom the artist in me

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Today Coco barked in pain for the first time, when he saw the blue seep out of my eyes...so as to comfort & heal me.

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Copyright: Meghna/2019