Where Lilies Bloom!

I want to feel my self again... The Self where lilies bloom Where pink of my gown Echoes childhood hues Where possibilities would Sing & dreams were never an impossible thing...& Yellow of the sun... Borrowed laughters from my Spring! Where December winters laid The warmth of my soul & songs of my youth; Tinkled through my toes I want to feel my Self again That I bargained in thoughts of minds that fret... And took away all that was mine In their wasted Self-interest! . What do I say...a piece of me feels lost...I was 25 when this chronic ailment turned my life & even with the passage of time, i still feel 25 in my head. At times I wish that I could walk with Coco to the end of earth. Walk collecting earth songs. Many a things happened in my life that has brought me down to my knees. A sense of loss as I struggle to do the most basic things. More than a month has passed, I'm still unable to walk without pain. Pain has a way of keeping nothing normal in your life. Maybe that's why most times when I express through art, it's not understood by many. Because my normal is different from theirs. Atul has taken almost two months sabbatical from work to help me, as its difficult to keep up with my regular routine walks with Coco. He's avoided many assignments so that he can shoulder more of my day to day responsibilities. Coco too knows when I feel such deep loss like I just can't go on, where every evening this sadness looms...that one more day has gone by doing nothing. He listens to the tears & Silence. 18years is a long time & I have immense Gratitude for these two souls who've walked with me so far. I only wish to feel my Self again; independent, free, to be able to walk, run, paint & Breathe. Where my every moment isn't calculated & lilies bloom to my laughter which my Self in all abandonment weaves . Copyright: Meghna/2019