By The Kindness in his eyes….

I’m at a place in my heart- Where I’m Happy!!!

My Happiness comes from the fact that Coco came in our lives & he healed me from lifetimes of pain. Not just this bodily pain…

But lifetimes of pain. I no longer seek this happiness outside of me. It’s Not whether i can travel or Not travel. Walk or Not walk, Speak or Not speak in the confines of this pain

I’m Happy because Coco loved me & he took away a large part in me that didn’t allow me to be fulfilled. Even with his passing he did that.

I’m Happy cause i feel more of Gods presence- more of Babas presence in me. And that presence too if it’s allowing this body to crash & break it’s fine with me

I no longer try to fix anyone Nor Allow anyone to have that Power over me

Cause I’m not some broken piece. Yes the body maybe broken but that limitation of this body is Not me

I know I’m a not the doer, Cause i see all events of my life as Babas Grace. If he’s letting someone be next to me then that’s his Grace, if he’s taking away people on basis of their work & im still in unbearable pain then that too is His Grace!

His Grace that he like Coco is always with me besides around & within me

And when i see people around me getting worked up- stressed- trying to control outcomes, work, other people & live in fear of their minds

i see the Blessing that Coco & Baba gave me with their presence to remain Free of this Mind & it’s troubles. That we truly- None of us are ever in Control of our lives. We simply are here to flow.

Yes Baba wished to write this story of my life in this pain- that from Point-

A to B is already decided by him & i fully Accept it.

That there will be pain & heart breaks with it

But i still Have A Choice how i wish to live through this pain- weather i wish to cry- bang my head on the wall, not literally tho, but as a metaphor,

Or i Choose to live through this with a joy & a heart that’s so Damn filled with Love that Coco gave me & Love that i have in my heart for baba & I’m here to Only & Only share this love!

Sometimes through my silence, at times through words & mostly through colours

I’ve realised i don’t need to take or carry anyones burdens that we are conditioned to take in the name of relations

No it’s not my duty to carry the burdens of anyone’s minds- cause like me, they too have to work on their own created darkness & Choose light!

When i Chose Coco- i Chose light - joy, Childlikeness, Smile, laughter, dance, music, paint, write & even dress up & go that extra mile…

So when anyone tries to tell me otherwise Or Vomits the conditioning of their minds to Justify their fear or anger- i Simply walk away & ask God to help them, Cause it’s Not my burden to carry

You may think with this pain I’m not free- i can’t do many a things like any normal person can & that’s true to an extent

But this pain gave me Freedom from many conditioning & Opened my heart to many A Blessings!!

And i know that when i shall leave- weather it will be in this ailing body or healed- I’ll leave with a heart full of love- of coco that alone i shall leave behind in all things said & unsaid. Cause i don’t need to wait for death to Be Free-

Cocos love showed me- I’m complete, Enough & always & always have A Choice to Be & Remain Free!

©️Meghna/2025