Heart Of God (chapter 13)
- 2 days ago
- 12 min read
Updated: 14 hours ago
22nd July 2026
In my heart I went to Parthi to offer him my soul, as I don’t wish to continue this way anymore… And as soon as I offered at his samadhi, he shows my soul is lit up with his light and like a soft pink flower it’s bloomed!
The Clouds are dark, the pain is deep,
The Lotus of the Heart has bloomed in Peace!
For No longer outside of it It’s Self it seeks!
7.45am
PS: Have started the painting of this experience where i see my souls flower bloom into pink, filled with his light!
23rd July 2026
PS: though this painting is based on yesterday’s experience & poem, that I finished Pai ting on the 26th, Where Swami showed the lotus of my heart has bloomed pink & is filled with his light. But I wish to share it here, based on how it co-relates to an experience Swami gave me in 2023. Which I’ve shared below.
You know the dichotomy of this Journey with Swami. I believe he gave me this pain because he’s Alreday given me the Experience. The Pain that one feels in these intervening days of the so called Wait, when we in our desperation want him to reach out & he remains Silent. The dichotomy of this entire Pain is, He Never Left!
When we’re born the umbilical cord with our given physical mother at the time of our birth is cut. & so is in every birth.
But The Only True Divine Mother that we each came from is Him.
& by Him I mean all names of God, it’s not about just one form or formless aspect of God. But all names of God it’s Only One. So whichever form he came to you that most appeals to you, it’s that same God! This umbilical cord is never cut.
And I can vouch for this because He’s given me the experience of this Oneness, after a year to Coco’s passing in 2023, When I was missing him in extreme physical pain, I cried and after unable to control for 40-45mins, Swami lifted me from this plane of wordly consciousness into a plane, Where I realised I’m not this body, nor mind.
Where there was pain in the body, Yet No suffering as he always says. Because our identification to body-mind creates pain.
And I Realised that this Love of God, of the Self within each; this Heart of God within each-
Loves All Equally without any bias, without any judgment, without any prejudice. Without any form of Fear, hatred, anger, jealousy, malice,
which are all emotions we humans identify as our nature.
Which Truly isn’t Our Nature!
He Loves each and every being be it humans, animals, animate, non-animate, every speck or grass, rock, inert matter Or that which is moving is suffused and born from this Love.
Our Physical relations change with every birth and based on our karmic exchange either we continue with that soul in some other form of bodily-relation or the account is closed.
But each soul has come only and only from him. And each soul is only connected to this love of God.
In Truth, this is what we all are searching for in the outside world. This Love of God, that we think we can get it either from our parents, siblings, spouse, Freinds, children’s.
Or to get an acknowledgment in work, through some position in the world, Or based on our money status. That either places one soul higher in this wordly dimension as in aspect of Power,
& chasing for this power is again a crude form of Nothing but chasing this Love of God.
But in the end Nothing in this world can ever give you this Bliss, this Respect in the Knowing,
We are One!
And he showed me irrespective of the journey the soul is in- We all Are Equally Blessed, because He Loves us all Equally & we’ve come from him.
Yes based on ones karma we go through our individual ups and downs of lives.
But His Love is Greater than any pain that life sends our way! And this very Love is what kept this entire creation and Cosmos held in him.
And hence we are Never alone in this journey of life.
Maybe many people and relation shall leave us, But we are Never alone. I realised this SELF-
this presence of God within, His Presence in me is the same as His Presence in others. And we are this Presence.
Hence God says don’t Judge Or Hurt Or Hate anyone, because by doing so you’re only Hating the Truth within that soul- that is Him. In fact there will only be Respect for every life after knowing this Truth!
Yes we do encounter some difficult people on our way, who may test our conscience, based on how their Vasanas have developed in their past lifetimes, But to say that someone else makes you do bad things can Never be Justified!
Based on the simple fact that we are God.
So the more one goes through the churning and purification the more one comes to Experience and Realise this Truth that we are God!
Because the more one merges into the Truth that he showed me, the lesser the mind has any hold upon that soul. And by the mind I mean the Vasanas we carry from our past births as well as our psychological aspect of meeting life. That lessens and the Self or the Spirit takes an upper hand to show that we are indeed Premaswaroopalara- as Swami addresses us- Embodiments of Love!
Because in Truth that is all what we are- Love!
And this love of God is pure it’s not a wordly exchange that is tainted by selfishness even between a mother and child.
It’s Pure, it’s asks Nothing from you, It only Gives! And it’s Ever-Present within each soul, helping them Rise from the limitations of their minds, Or afflictions of bodily pains.
And we take birth after birth Only to Realise this One Truth- We are God, the Self within each is Him.
And the day you realise this, you’re are easier to Forgive, because it’s not you who’s forgiving, But the God within you who Forgives his own and even prays for that lost souls well-being.
This is the reason why God Never Abandons a single soul on this earth, Not even an ant. All are under His Protection and Care.
I believe Coco’s love made Swami Grace me with this Truth in my moment of deep pain & it was after a few days to that very moment, when I had spoken to my mom, as I was unable to speak to her due to extreme nerve trigger of scalp, that she shared Vibhuti had materialised at my parents home for the very first time
That he had Blessed them too. So this is the dichotomy of this Love- he shall show you he’s not there, because of His Silence,
But you’re in him and this umbilical cord is never severed. Until you realise this Oneness and merge in him!!!
11.20am
Hence even though he’s putting me through this pain of his Silence, I have to share this Truth- He Never for once Forsakes anyone Nor Leaves!!!
Until then only this Divine Author knows where he’s taking me with all this. Because if Swami is choosing to not listen,
Or at least shows he’s not listening to your prayers, then all that’s being reflected outside in my life is due to this Silence.
Because inspite of showing the Truth of the diagnosis to me, He still chooses to remain Silent then there’s Nothing I can say anymore, having been Overruled in all aspects of my life!
12.00pm
Swami once again you divinely synchronised this talk today when I shared my above experience that you’re the only Self in all
And then this devotee even shared that at times Swami will make you choose between him & the world. When she had her boards, the same day in the morning she had to go play music in one of the Sai events and he will put you through such test. And she chose to go play the music in the morning and then give her boards by afternoon and she passed with flying colours. That when you choose him, he will do everything for you.
And even the experience of her waiting in the school break as her father had said Swamis car shall pass and she can get his Darshana.
& as she waited at the school gates, she did get a glimpse of his Darshana, when his car passed by.
Swami once again gave the assurance that since I’ve Chosen to believe you, inspite of the ENT suggesting no biopsy and yesterday night when
I cried utterly crest-fallen that you didn’t come, you’ve left me….
today again you reached out… that You will come! You will come!
So now why wait? Why wait Swami???
Today shower your love of A Thousand Mothers upon me too.
3.06pm
Swami you say God is simple then why aren’t you giving sign, breaking your silence sending me to such doctors who have reduced this all to an-allergic reaction. Please break your Silence and show the Truth!
By late evening I again had a severe reaction to the allergy medicine, Which I’ll discontinue, because the medicine is not even for inflammation it’s a basic allergy medicine as the ENT ruled out biopsy, stating it’s juts some allergy. Even not considering the weight loss, fatigue and vomiting sensation.
I was so tired and exhausted fighting the side effect I told Swami, you truly need to beak your silence now.
And the sign can’t be only a Vision because no one believes it has to be a visible sign that this work and diagnosis has come from you.
Not that I shall do any biopsy because I have no strength left whatsoever.. Nor do treatments for Cancer.
But I’m sure not continuing with these allergy meds
24th July 2026
Above link to post
Just yesterday I told him even I want to experience Love of A Thousand Mothers.
Now if we are not aware of the subtlety of how Swami communicates then we shall overlook & ignore his signs, due to our minds way of being sucked in stress.
Yesterday when in the talk the devotee shared she wants to experience Love of A Thousand Mothers and how Swami fulfilled her simple wish by handing over the blue saree that she wanted.
For me too he reached out with that love.
As earlier in the Vision, When he blessed this work Where he signs With Love and Blessings….
I had told him, I’ll paint the Vision,
But I can’t sign as that has to come directly from you.
And yesterday in that extreme reaction to the medicine when I asked him for a visible sign to experience his love of a thousand mothers,
today he sent his sign of blessings to me this way. That indeed everything in this work, be it my health diagnosis, Visions, messages have come from him alone.
So by sending this reel, he reached out to my prayers.
In the morning I was listening to this talk while painting that soul light work. And once again in this he’s shared not only how Swami healed a persons cancer but the conflicting opinions of doctors when his wife was battling asthma. So I could relate to that experience
Since people lean so much on Chat GPT too, which I’ve never used, I cast two chits- stating SCGPT- meaning Sai chat G PT, asking is this lymphoma or whatever that oncologist stated as Cancer- with Yes & other chit No. I prayed and I tell Swami to select the chit that he wishes to answer by making one chit land in the temple area, that shall be the answer coming from him and the other chit should land outside.
And his Answer is- yes
Truly based on the message he sent my way yesterday, God is simple everything else is complicated!
Once again such beautiful talk where various anecdotes and experiences are shared. And he too goes on to share that at times Swami is very soft in his love and at times he comes as very strong. Where he will put you through a situation where either you Choose Him Or the world. Which they too had to navigate. And in that Swami even goes on to say- your relations will change with every birth, but when you choose him, then He alone is the One saving you & guiding you in every birth.
So once again, he’s showing me he knows my heart, upon all this crazy conflicting varied opinions of doctors. That I Chose my Belief over him, even though I’d be judged!
2.00pm.
Once again I asked Swami why is he Silent, not just at the doctors front, but on many levels of relations, Where he knows I didn’t do anything wrong, yet he kept Silent and allowed a lot of wrong to happen in my life, Which eventually took a toll on my health. I said maybe you don’t feel my pain, that’s why you keep Silent. To that he answered with the above message
Swami that’s all I ask of you, Experience! & that’s all I’ve been praying since these last 26yrs & even more so since this work started.
25th July 2026
Swami just now while listening to this talk… though I’ve been chanting Sai Gayatri since
The Pet-scan as you guided me & not only 108 times, but through the day, with every breath
All I ask is Finish what you’ve started in my life & with this work Heart of God!!!
1.44am
Swami, Yesterday you send me this message,
that said- “I Will Not Reject you”,
These words are very simple, But they carry a lot of weightage. In our daily transactions we as family, friends, work aspect tend to show this side that we are ready to stand beside someone in their tough times, But when the heat gets too much, then many leaves fall off. And at times the tree is standing all alone, bereft of any life, songs of birds & fruits that bloomed life in it
So when you mention “I will not Reject you”,
Then are you ready to come and sit near a tree that’s lost everything. Even the roots are no longer having any foundation in the earths soil,
But sure the tree can offer you its Faith,
For in its Faith Alone it stands! Maybe there’s no canopy of wordly achievements, validation, respect, But the tree has shed tears in love for thee and in that love alone it’s sustained itself.
Are you ready to take this offering of Pure Love; Which in worldly aspect has Zero value
For I stand here in my Belief, Even after the storms of life, that took everything.
I’m Standing here upon the foundation of Faith alone.
Pain has a way of stripping you down in the world. And you know Swami, I’ve put my best foot forward, Since last 26yrs in this pain.
But Now if it’s come down to living a life like this, with no answers to this pain….
Even after Coco left, I gave my best that in my love for him I wish to exhibit.
But now given this pain, I don’t even know if I’ll ever be able to exhibit for him…..
Hence it’s my Humble prayer, Share this work and then free me and bring me home to you and coco.
So when you say these words- I will Not Reject you, then they are not just simple words. As you know of.
10.17am
Hence if you truly mean- I Will Not Reject you, Then show that in the Truest sense.
Because medically since last 26yrs I have been rejected.
& the only life I’m left with is to die every second in this pain that sucks all life from within….
But Now, I’d prefer to die Once, then every single day go through this.
10.44am
Swami if you truly haven’t rejected me,
then before 29th Guru Purnima reach out,
But if you don’t wish to take any responsibility then on Guru Poornima free me from a life like this. Because you’re the creator, sustainer & destroyer. So let me leave in dignity!
2.38pm
Swami now whatever I should receive, It should come from you & you alone. If for some reason you don’t wish to give me anything, then let me die. But now whatever I should receive it should come from you & you alone.
Because it’s not done, living a life this way.
Later these messages
Was listening to this talk, while painting the soul light art work and many beautiful experiences are shared,
Even that Swami only wants us to lay the carpet of our hearts so he can dwell there, by having purity and following his teachings.
& how he saved an army lady from blood cancer.
And then for some Seva project in a village they needed 27acres land. And Swami tells him you don’t need land, you need my hand!
But then he goes on to say this very beautiful assurance that Swami gave regarding Guru Poornima
Where Swami asks him do you know the significance of Guru Poornima- & then goes to promise.
On Guru Poornima I take A Vow, That so long as the Sankalp’s of my child is not fulfilled, Sun will not set. So I am going to do this. Go work I’ll take care of you.
4.14pm
Once again Swami responded to my above prayer that either reach out before Guru Poornima or let me die, with the Vow he gave.
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