Heart Of God (continue chapter 12)
- Jul 5
- 33 min read
Updated: 13 hours ago
4th July 2026
Finished the painting today by late evening,
The Vision Baba gave on 2nd July 2026.
Since I’m sharing the painting in today’s post,
So will share the Vision details again here, to correlate it with the painting for an understanding.
A Vision-
I see Shirdi baba standing & his figure appears like a flame, standing in the midst of a heavy darkness, & the only bright light emanating is from his form…
(though in the Vision Shirdi baba is seen standing at a distance so his figure appears like a small burning flame, but here I painted him more Visible & in the fore-front)
As he says- “You’re here due to my light”,
Showing, Otheriwse the flame of my life would
Have been Swallowed by this darkness.
And then he says pointing to many poisonous snakes on the ground, coiled around where he’s standing, as I see a snake slither by, When he points to it saying- “I shall not let this Poison come to you”.
Vision ends
8.01pm
After this, there’s Nothing much left to share…
12.00am
5th July 2026
In my Surrender I ask thee, Do as you Please…. Whether I laugh, Whether I weep,
Do as you Please…
Whether in pain, Whether you heal-
Do as you Please, But You Alone carry me,
For I’m not someone’s burden,
But Solely Thy & Thy Alone Responsibility!
That’s All I ask of thee!
Until my last breath- Do as you Please!
Because you’re the one who gives life to this inert matter….
So from birth to death & in all my in-betweens,
Beloved Sai, Do as you Please!
Whether someone walks along, Or Whether someone chooses to leave, Do as you Please!
And whence shall my last breath be released,
Do as you Please! I’ve left everything at thy lotus feet,
If You want me to go through various tests
& be a guinea pig- Do as you Please!
For this pain I accept & even this Silence on part of thee, I Accept as Thy Prasadam for me.
Wheather thou intervene Or leave me at some doctors mercy-
I am yours & that’s the Only Truth I have to Offer thee- Along with this heart of mine, in which Dwells None but you My Sai!
For this pain has brought about a death within & Now there’s Nothing much left on my part,
Other than this Knowing-
That even if you shall choose to walk away & abandon me-
“My Heart is Only full of love for thee”,
Even if you fail to show thy love for me,
I’ll Accept that too as thy Prasadam & say- I’m yours & there’s only Love in my heart & soul for thee!
Do whatever you wish to do with my life- that makes you happy!!!
Because by that alone my birth here shall have its Fulfilment & Blessings!
For that’s all I longed for; To make both you & Coco Happy!
Both Atul & I are your Children’s,
And you as our Everything, My only prayer is- don’t let go of our hands,
hold us as you’ve very breath & being. Because we have Nothing left, but thee.
Do as you Please!!!
11.25am
Later I started a painting on the above surrender while I was listening to this satsang,
Where one very beautiful incident was shared, When students are taking pictures with Swami, and as they get a personal picture, Swami says sees there’s a lesson here- how you all come & go, while I alone stay.
So in this life too, everything is coming and going, But One Should hold on to the one that stays.
And that’s exactly what my heart told him this morning- I’ll hold on to you!
6th July 2026
In Surrender to thee,
Let Clarity Shine upon all places dark.
If things that were paused in pain,
& if it’s thy will, that they begin with Greater Love, then let thy light clear all that was holding back,
to share it’s Love!
If it’s thy will to continue- then you clear the way & show the path.
Even if we need to go through the drills of doctors & test- you make the way in clarity either it should be so,
Or close that door completely,
for you shall by your healing alone- Open all Possibilities of Faith for my simple heart-
As my burdens were only yours!
Baba just show me, With Clarity,
How you wish me to continue & where to stop.
By Tomorrow End this pain, by clearing all paths! 1.20am
O Beloved Lord Ganesha Please Clear the way, You showed me on the 11th June - Vision -
I see Ganpati Bappa, wearing a pink Dhotar/Dhoti (traditional Asian attire)
As he walks towards me & then he says-
“I’ve come to stay in your heart & home.
This is my father’s home!” With four hands blessings & ears fanning, Showing me your listening to my prayers….
So Lord Ganesha, Please tell your father, to clear the path. You please ask him to Come now,
Come home & heal everything in mine & Atuls life & bring A New Auspicious Beginning.
And yet if he wants me to go through the doctors drill, then please tell him to clear the path & give me a clear sign regarding that too.
Since April-May the testing period has gone so gruelling on all fronts of my life, that I truly can’t take it anymore.
O Beloved Ganesha, every time when Swami would not respond to his child’s prayer, they would call out to you, to intervene with your Father.
Even during exams the students would pray to you offering 108 pradakshina.
O Beloved Ganesha, you said you’ve come to stay in my heart & home, because this is your Father’s home.
Then Please tell Swami to intervene to my prayers.
I’ve Surrendered to him & am ready to even go through doctors if that’s what he’s Willed for me. But he should intervene now with Clarity!
Even the stress Atul is undergoing,
Please tell him to show him the way, because he’s stood by me through it all.
For Everything in life has fallen apart.
But you showed me by fanning your ears that you’re listening to my prayers….
Then Please intervene on my behalf,
Please tell your Father to make a clear way, remove all pain, obstacles that he’s very much aware of in our lives, Which I share only with him & none.
So Please Lord Ganesha Please step in for me & ask your Father to reach out. Please Vighnaharta Remove this Obstacles; of his Silence that has been crushing me. Please tell him to give me Respite!
12.06pm
And even while I was writing this to lord Ganesha, the gynaecologist clinic called to say, if I can come today as the doctor will be there. And I had told Swami if you want me to go, then they will give me an appointment today. So be it
Whilst I was painting yesterday Surrender painting-
I was listening to this satsang where in this talk it’s shared.
Swami always says unless he decides Nothing can happen.
& the reason for Satsang is so that our Faith remains intact. And our Faith should never be shaken.
Above link to the satsang
& then He shared a beautiful quote of Swami-
I Give you this Assurance today, That stands True unto the very end.
I am Always there, Whether you know it or not.
I shall do the needful in a timely manner, Whether you Believe it or not,
I shall always Protect you in time of despair, Whether you can see it or not,
I shall Always carry you in times of weakness,
Whether you let me Or not.
And I shall make you mine, in times you wish to leave me, Whether you like it or not. Be Aware of these words & they shall take you across the highs & lows of your life in Bliss & in Absolute Confidence.
This is the most beautiful quote that came my way today.
The reason being yesterday, I was sharing the same with my mom and a Freind, that Swami steps in your life when Problems arise & when most leave,
He steps in to insulate you with his grace so that you can finsih this tough time by him at your side. And that he is the most loving God who will hand over the entire work to you, just so he can shower his Grace to protect you.
But we have conditions, we say if there’s a miracle I’ll believe & have Faith in you, But if there’s no miracle then Faith shakes.
I shared that shouldn’t be the case, because he’s helping us to finish this testing times.
I told my mom, this work can only be shared upon his blessings,
But how much ever he’s helped me through this, by constantly giving me Hope, and whatever I may have shared even with a few people around me, even that’s enough, Even if I have to leave dying this way, My Love for him shall not change.
& i shall hold on to him, Not leave him, No matter the Challenges & stress & share his teachings. Because other than him, I know None can Save me, Nor shall have my best interest at their hearts.
Swami would often give me message that given the trouble even I’d leave him & I said- I wont. Because he’s everything.
And since he’s giving me this work then he has to solve all problems of my life too. For through this work his Grace is Flowing
So the way Swami shows he’s know your heart,
& by these constant signs he makes his presence evident to help us keep going
12.33pm
While waiting at the gynaecologist clinic…
all these messages of assurance
& especially this one, Because I had asked him to guide both of us through these testing times of pain with clarity.
Ganpati Bappa I had asked to intervene & just Now something so beautiful transpired.
The gynac rather than being concerned about the reason I went for…..upon checking that there’s no swelling of lymph in inner thigh…..
She kept beating around the bush that it can be hernia….& speaking such baseless things, which I can’t even share here, for they truly show they lack empathy towards a being. And only adding to my burdens by subjecting me to unnecessary tests.
It did ruffle me, & I did try to get some knowledge about the matter with a person who had undergone treatment for the specific cause
But after the entire turmoil, as I breathed a relief,
I realised, Baba made me stand my ground by not getting sucked in this energy of such doctors,
who make patients fear something, when that truly isn’t a pressing matter.
It’s the way they listen & yet not listen & push their thoughts to suck you in a never-ending turmoil of various health tests that are not meant to heal the very cause I was send to her for.
If Baba wouldn’t have given me the diagnosis of Blood Cancer imagine what I would have been subjected too.
When you have Self-Confidence you have Belief & When you have Belief that what you’re doing is Right, because that Guidance has come from Swami within, Then you don’t Beat yourself down & get sucked up in unnecessary troubles of tests & therapies that have nothing to do with the diagnosis of Blood cancer he gave me
Today he taught me to Love myself more by showing me Truth of my diagnosis & saving me the trouble.
I’ve lived my life on Faith. And I know my Faith in Him Once again Saved me. There’s No Need to Beat yourself down for people who refuse to help, and have only their Selfish-interest at heart.
10.53pm
Now that he’s shown me this, He shall Make Way & Intervene for Everything Because I’ve taken a step-up in Love & he has to meet me there.
In the End its Our Faith alone that Saves us!
Swami Now you Correct all that needs to be Corrected, Because there’s no point beating yourself down….Rather it’s better to Stand in your Faith & save yourself from unnecessary troubles.
In Faith I’ve lived & in Faith I shall Breathe my last! 11.22pm
The way this entire chapter he wrote is a beautiful lesson indeed.
7th July 2026
After yesterday’s incident with that gynaecologist there’s Nothing much left to say.
& if Swami lets you go through problems on all fronts of life,
By Remaining Silent,
Then it’s best to Be Silent! And follow in his footsteps.
Next week will try getting the appointment of oncologist & getting tissue biopsy Or whatever test he needs done.
Till then His Silence is my Breath! Whether he saves me from all troubles Or lets me fall & die- It’s His Will Alone!
10.26am
Around noon I was listening to this above talk, While painting in which the same thing was shared, that when Swami doesn’t intervene then one should have Acceptance.
And later he shared this beautiful 10sec clip, Where the devotee who comes to take Padnamaskar of Swamis feet,
& every time Swami gets up & keeps his hand upon the tables leg so that the devotees head doesn’t butt in…
Such a sweet gesture, that if he can take care for something like this, then won’t he protect us.
Truly Heart-melting
Later even this above message, is so personal, because Swami showed me in the Vision that he’s the driver of my life’s car
Just now I asked Bhagwan, that when a devotee Surrenders it’s all to God, As I did to him today
morning….Everything I left at his feet….
Then now when we shall go to see the oncologist & he shall ask us to do various tests,
Or maybe even a tissue biopsy….
& since I’ve Surrendered to thee,
Will this particular test be “A Test of my Faith”,
that I Believe you it’s Blood Cancer….
Or will it be A Test Of Your Vision, Signs & Assurance. And he picked the chit-
In which it’s mentioned- it’s Swamis Test!
His test of Vision Assurance, Because I’ve surrendered to him.
5.40pm
Once again a very beautiful message, if you have Love for God then you can’t harm anyone.
Swami, Will you Please come with me whenever we have to go see the Oncologist. You be there, you make the oncologist speak nicely with me, even guide the tests needed to be done,
let it be you who asks, that do this test or that.
But you please be there, I don’t want to have a bad experience like that gynaecologist. You speak to me kindly, Respectfully, Lovingly & it should be your clear hand of guidance as to what tests you want to get it done.
Please Mother that’s all i ask for- that I meet you, Not the doctor. Because you’re my doctor.
Please don’t send me to rude doctors anymore.
On my Sai Maas behest, let all things go smoothly. & Now Swami as my doctor you have to make up for all the insensitive doctors I encountered over 26yrs, who lacked empathy, love & kindness
9.54pm
I pray this is the last doctor I see in my lifetime, from there you take over & heal me completely & this decades of illness; this chapter of pain closes, by your healing upon us both.
11.49pm
8th July 2026
Beloved Swami, While painting this Surrender painting, I’ve left some tears & even washed your feet, & the second I washed thy feet with my tears, My heart entwined with yours, and there’s Nothing I long for, Because I’m yours!
And you are Everything for me, Whether I shall come out of this illness, heal or not. I’m yours!!!
And I’m your Responsibility Alone!!!
So the doctor now shall meet me through you,
& you will make him speak, diagnose, & ask what test needs be done. Because I’m Yours!!!
And that’s the Only Truth of my Life!!!
3.10pm
Today afternoon while painting the Surrender artwork, I was listening to this above talk.
And how Swami not only saves his mother,
a girl devotee, who was given only few months to live due to stomach cancer & even the way Swami intervened, with the inner voice guidance, that he received in a timely manner to get hospitalised & operated, as otherwise it would be fatal in his case.
I clearly understand these inner voice guidance as Swami has been guiding me since December of 2025, when this entire work began.
It’s just the way the devotee sharing here received an immediate confirmation that the Guidance came from None but Swami, While for me,
Swami has chosen to lead me Silently.
I guess when Swami shall choose to speak for me too & not remain Silent; That he’s the Divine Author of this work, Then only shall I share this work.
Until then remain quiet.
Because He Alone knows the reason for being quiet, inspite of all challenges of pain that have kept mounting, since these last few months.
6.12pm
Once again to my above heart-felt, this message of Assurance from him
9th July 2026
My heart has been on a never-ending Sai Ram, Sai Ram chanting mode, like that song- Sai naam sumiran jo bhi kare….
And today morning Swami again gave A Vision- Swami is seated in a pink gown & I can see him,
But from the back-side, not his face, and as I go closer, it’s like the camera pans and Swami is now visible from the front but his head is facing down, engrossed in writing something- and as i go closer i read the words
“With Love & Blessings Bhagwan Shree Satya Sai Baba.”
Vision ends.
7.00am
PS : imagine the words in those 3 messages above, that he knows my silent prayers & even if the world may be against, his miracles have no limit, because with the Vision he answered my silent prayer.
Basically yesterday night my energy had sunk very low and I was awake until past 2am,
unable to breathe due to pain.
And in my heart I offered this work, iPad at Swamis chair, on his samadhi in Parthi
& then I went to Shirdi & lay there holding babas feet, calling him out moaning in pain.
And then i woke up to this Vision.
Where Swami showed me he’s blessed this work even before the healing & completion of this Surrender painting,
That he has heard my yesterday’s prayer- Because I had cried saying- No one shall believe this work unless you intervene. And how your children’s get an immediate sign from you,
But here I’m just going through these doctors drill and unless there’s no, sign or scientific diagnosis & healing from you…
I’ll only be questioned, because the doctors themselves don’t believe it’s lupus,
& I’m only met with grilling, judging & doubting questions.
I have this habit of keeping some satsang on in the night when im unable to sleep due to pain & then I let it auto play,
& just after this mornings Vision, as I was listening to this talk in the morning,
in which it was shared how Talent is not a gift from God, But Swami has said- “Talent is God”.
As just yesterday I shared the same with my mom, that imagine if not for this work, where would I go in my life.
Without Swamis Grace to let me paint & do this work, So that he can shower his Grace upon me in these trying painful times, where would i go.
& what ego can we have when that talent is him and that’s a means to help us not just survive by earning our livelihood, but even in such times that very talent safeguarded & gave meaning to this pain
And then later he shares baba says Boy means Behaviour, Man means manners & Devotee means Discipline & he shares Shabari had that discipline for 14yrs to wait for Lord Rama without feeling dejected.
Though there’s more to learn from Shabaris devotion, But I had told him, I’ll keep painting your portraits until you give a sign.
& today morning knowing this pain I felt within my heart, that inspite of knowing the Truth of my health diagnosis coming from Swami, the way doctors treat & judge by making crass comments….
To That pain he reached out with this Vision
That He is the Divine Author of this work,
& His word overrules all doctors and those who doubt his very diagnosis for me. For this work has come from him
9.00am
Above link to post
Baba, not only read the letters written on paper, But even those which are said in the quietness of one’s heart! And only the indweller of One’s Heart can know what’s addressed to him.
11.42am
With today’s Vision that too on a Thursday-9th, it’s Swamis love that gives your Power to go on. It’s this Belongingness in the way Love reciprocates that gives power to keep going. And it’s your Faith in His Love that safeguards you.
Otherwise everything else is simply Give & Take. I’ve experienced this Selfless love from him, Atul & Coco & that alone is my strength.
There’s Nothing much left to say, maybe next week meet the Oncologist & get the test done, if that’s what Swami still wants….Because now he has to heal!
Shall paint Today’s Vision too, Once the Surrender painting is finished.
Thank you For Everything & being by my side through it all Baba. Thank you for sending Coco in our lives, His love uplifted mine & Atuls soul. 3.47pm
Now My Faith in him for these 26yrs, Shall make the way & do all impossibles in my life,
After today’s Vision, Swami can no more hide.
He not only has to come & give both Atul & I,
A New Beginning. But be our everything.
This chapter of pain shall be closed forever from my life! And he shall decide when to send coco too, if that’s His Will.
4.41 pm
When you Know- Swami is your Everything then there’s no need to ask for Anything from anyone, Or tell anything to anyone. Because you’ve told him & he knows!!!
I was sharing the morning vision with one of my Freind, & even that how with Coco & Swami I walked with A Lightness of Faith, Hope & Love no matter the Challenges,
& Along with Swami, Coco shall always be my teacher, As he taught me to live with A Joy & Hope to take each day as it comes. Because Swamis love gives you that strength that you’re Not Alone!
& once again to my above Faith & Belief that other than yo, None can heal me, he’s giving his Divine Assurance.
10th July 2026
This talk I was listening in the morning, and it touched on so many levels with the divine-synchronicity, that ultimately Gods Word is Truth & can’t be overruled, like the Krishna Arjuna story, Whatever Krishna said & without even seeing Arjuna believed… & how Swami showed his students to have that Faith as Arjuna…
As for me, the diagnosis of my illness and this work came from him, Which I never doubted,
But yesterday’s Vision, Only went to confirm that he alone is the Divine Author.
And even in the talk, what was shared about His Grace that makes all situation light, that’s exactly what I had shared yesterday with my Freind.
So Swamis ways of divine-synchronicity are unparalleled.
Personally for me Swami always said this pain is only A Correction Not Punishment. Because of the way he’s reached out to me with this work. He’s more present every second guiding & helping.
Miracles are nothing But A Devotees Silent Faith & God reciprocating to that Faith & Purity within a devotees heart, By Pouring out His Undying Love!
11.33am
Hence this period of Karma is my Time with Swami, where there’s Only Love,
& His Will- Either to heal & give A New Beginning to us both….
Or let me drift away like a dried autum leaf. Because now he has to turn my life either ways,
As it’s been 26yrs of this wait.
But no matter what the outcome,
My heart is full of Love & His Presence within.
12.03pm
I had asked him, Will you send me to an oncologist When I consider you to be my oncologist, doctor healer, & he picked the chit- He’s my Oncologist.
So Swami, Now not only do you have to tell me how far this Blood Cancer has impacted,
But as my Oncologist do you want me to do the tissue biopsy or ct scans???
Because I’m just tired & exhausted of living a life like this, So Please show a way out, By clearly guiding me, & the signs have to be tangibly-visible henceforth.
As there’s No point dragging this after a 26yrs wait.
8.32pm
This seems like a last chapter from my end,
Now you as my Oncologist and doctor have to lead the way.
Test…No Test….upto you…
There’s Nothing impossible for you, So you have to give me the signs regarding this Blood Cancer & more than anything give us both a healing.
Otheriwse let this chapter be followed by thy Silence……. & let this work never be shared
Or let this chapter be followed by thy Guidance, healing & A New Beginning for us!
11.52pm
11th July 2026
Once again a message of Assurance to my yesterdays prayer that he needs to intervene more than a vision…
I was listening to the above talk, While working on Surrender painting & how the devotee mentioned that When you do Swamis work,
Swami takes care of all your personal problems,
Baba, Now truly is the time for you to take over everything in my life, that’s fallen apart, Which you alone know of. As both Atul & I don’t know how to go through this anymore.
And in the talk the devotee even shared,
How you saved his wife because she prayed for her 2 young children’s,
Swami now that Coco is not here, we are your lost Children’s, not knowing how to go about this anymore.
So please Come & step in and save us, because we genuinely have None but you to pull us out of this pain. Please make it happen now, Because it’s Exhausting.
Swami, whatever I offered through this work,
Came from my heart! I may not be Perfect in my offering….Or have that perfection of work like Atul has, because I rely more on satisfying my heart, Which I believe, in-turn satisfies you
But whether your diagnosis shall be believed
Or questioned, And the way you wrapped a golden shawl at the beginning of this work,
Saying you wish to give me this love….
& yet look where it’s taken me….
Where Until Scientifically test shows,
There’s always that look of doubt Or baseless questions, like the experience with the gynac,
& maybe that’s how even in future it could be with most…
If that’s how this work shall be met with, then the purpose behind this work of love has failed!
As the subtle suggestions to get tested always precede the Faith I’ve lived by.
Hence you take a call, if you shall get various tests or biopsy for throat lymph node done as even suggested by my GP who truly was kind in her ways of addressing this pressing issue,
Where she even refrained using the word “Cancer”, even though she recommended me to meet an oncologist & maybe even get the biopsy done.
Or there shall be some other Sai way to reveal this all….Which I know nothing about
Hence I understand the purpose of what that Golden shawl was meant to do, So that I’d have the courage to stand by this Truth you’ve shown me through Visions, Inspite of doubting minds questioning my Faith.
In My Heart of Hearts I know, I did the Best I could, I’m not Perfect & I shall never have that inclination to have any perfection too…
Because as I said- if I feel fulfilled in my heart that my offering came from Love; Then that Love Alone is enough for me.
This work is about Heart Of God!
So Now let your Heart speak so that all doubts, judgements that people shall have, upon reading this work, have Alreday been Eliminated before hand by thee.
Meet me to the Truth of My Faith & Belief, let that Golden shawl that you wrapped around me,
Stand for what it was meant to be.
Now let your Heart speak.
9.54am
Later today, in my heart, I folded that golden shawl & left it at Babas feet in Shirdi….
Saying -Shirdi Baba I offer this Golden Shawl back at your lotus feet, along with my simple heart….
Because I’ve spoken, But No one is listening….
& Because I’ve shared but the fruits coming from my hands aren’t as Sweet & Satiating…
So Now you, O Beloved Sai- Feed them from thy very own hands, The love & teachings in this work of yours, So that their hearts are fulfilled & for once their Hearts shall find strength to overrule their limited minds way of thinking.
Where in the Perfection of your love-
All Judgements, Shall simply cease & then they shall be ready to consume the sweetness of thy love within every word & pause that unto the pages of my life- you’ve breathe!
Because what you’ve shown me- has been etched on my heart, every Vision, Every Experience that’s filled me with Joy & awe that can’t be negated by any doctor- Ever.
But for this work to be shared, You’ll have to do something that No One shall Doubt & it shall be Accepted as thy Prasadam of Love
So Now you step in! Otherwise the purpose of this work is lost in all vain questioning.
10.18am
When I finished listening to the above talk & how he blessed the devotees wife…
I told him these Challenges have been insurmountable upon me, & yet I’ve believed your every word, I’ve cried inconsolably, and today too I cried….So much that my last drop of tear too has been offered to thee
Atul has to travel on work and yet I’ve kept it all together, knowing we don’t have any choice, by my calm acceptance of thy Will.
Yet you simply keep quiet. Can’t you feel the pain the lump on my chest. It’s way too big & heavy, more than the swollen lymph node of my throat, such that I can’t even breathe, let alone all tears too, have dried up now.
How come I’m met with a constant disbelief inspite of sharing the diagnosis coming from you. If you truly feel this pain upon my chest, then as my oncologist reach out today itself.
Otherwise let your Silence be heard as your way of abandoning me & not ready to take my life’s-responsibility. Either today you have to Reach out with a clear & visible sign…..
Or I’ll know- You’ve left me at this pains mercy!
For if My Silence doesn’t cut through & melt your heart then let me be buried in this pain upon my chest that since last few months I’ve been experiencing as my life has totally fallen apart.
If truly you mean every word - if You do my work, I take care of all your life problems….
Then Either Show up today itself….
Or by your Silence, I’ll know a 100% that I’m not yours to take Responsibility & care for.
3.15pm
Just now Finished the Surrender painting that I had started on 6th of this month, While listening to the above talk. In which the devotee shared how Swami wanted him to pursue PHD and he even tested him. And that Swami being the Divine Director, when we are in the middle of the play, we can’t see the big picture, But in the end we see how the dots connect.
So I feel this talk too, Swami sending at this given point in my life is Bhagwan’s Divine Synchronicity. Hence I’m sharing here
And then he plays a small clip in which Swami asked which is my Biggest Miracle and as Swamis discourse was being played, I told Baba- it’s your H2h connect with each of your children.
And later that’s exactly what the devotee shared as the audio wasn’t that clearly audible.
Swami, Now today itself Connect the dots,
But, Only & Only if my life is your Responsibility!!! Otherwise remain Silent.
The painting got finished just before the Aarti started in the above talk. And the way light is cutting on Swamis photo, the painting below has similar one directional light on Swamis form too. So I felt like including these signs of his Blessings & befitting to share the painting today, Even though the poem was given both on 5th & 6th of this month.
In my Surrender I ask thee, Do as you Please…. Whether I laugh, Whether I weep,
Do as you Please…
Whether in pain, Whether you heal-
Do as you Please, But You Alone carry me,
For I’m not someone’s burden,
But Solely Thy & Thy Alone Responsibility!
That’s All I ask of thee!
Until my last breath- Do as you Please!
Because you’re the one who gives life to this inert matter….
So from birth to death & in all my in-betweens,
Beloved Sai, Do as you Please!
Whether someone walks along, Or Whether someone chooses to leave, Do as you Please!
And whence shall my last breath be released,
Do as you Please! For I’ve left everything at thy lotus feet,
You want me to go through various tests
& be some guinea pig- Do as you Please!
For this pain I accept & even this Silence on part of thee, I Accept as Thy Prasadam for me.
Wheather thou intervene Or leave me at some doctors mercy-
I am yours & that’s the Only Truth I have to Offer thee- Along with this heart of mine, in which Dwells None but you My Sai!
For this pain has brought about a death within & Now there’s Nothing much left on my part,
Other than this Knowing-
That even if you shall choose to walk away & abandon me-
“My Heart is full of love for thee”,
Even if you fail to show thy love for me,
I’ll Accept that too as thy Prasadam & say- I’m yours & there’s only Love in my heart & soul for thee!
Do whatever you wish to do with my life- that makes you happy!!!
Because by that alone my birth here shall have its Fulfilment & Blessings!
5th July 2026
In Surrender to thee,
Let Clarity Shine upon all places dark.
If things that were paused in pain,
& if it’s thy will, that they begin with Greater Love, then let thy light clear all that was holding back,
to share it’s Love!
If it’s thy will to continue- then you clear the way & show the path.
Even if we need to go through the drills of doctors & test- you make the way in clarity either it should be so,
Or close that door completely,
for you shall by your healing alone- Open all Possibilities of Faith for my simple heart-
As my burdens were only yours!
Baba just show me, With Clarity,
How you wish me to continue & where to stop.
By Tomorrow End this pain, by clearing all paths! 1.20am
6th July 2026
above in the post Swami is seen distributing Prasadam
& yet once again No Signs from Swami, He Chose Silence & by that, My life is no longer His Responsibility!
11.52pm
12th July 2026
Beloved Mother, Are my prayers any less, Is my pain in this heart not felt….Have I doubted thee, For I know, you’ve heard me…Then tell me Why this Silence on part of thee….
Because I’m Not anyone’s Burden, But your Responsibility!
You’ve seen how my tears have bled through these last few months, You’ve seen how through this pain unto you I’ve held….Youve seen my every heart break & every door closing and Hope dying, Only to hold on to this Faith for yet another day.
You even gave the message- Since I Trust thee, hence I’m your Responsibility.
So where do you want to take me from here. Because keeping me in this Wait with no directions isn’t any way to live…
Today is 12th the date Coco left…..in April of 2022. Out of Respect for his Selfless Love, show yourself and give us A Healing & A Second chance to this life.
Now Please Come O Sai, Please Come O Sai!!! And heal everything so that this work can be shared upon thy blessings for our life!
9.54am
Later,
A Vision,
Just now, I see Swamis face looking at me with that one pointed stoic look, saying- “I didn’t get you this far to Fail!”
End of Vision
10.20am
PS: Finished the log on 13th, but am sharing here
Later by evening…
When Truth Swallows you Whole,
This Heart no longer is yours to call,
When you’ve loved him in the fullness of your being, Yearning turns into a love - that no longer is seeking him outside, Because he’s become your innermost core,
In Loving you, I’ve dissolved!
In Loving you, I’ve dissolved!
5.17pm
Just now as I’m slipping in very exerting pain,
He’s made me aware that he’s carrying me, this relation is very, very intimate, beyond lifetimes
& I can sense his presence carrying me & he’s been carrying me, Since a very long time.
It’s something that he can give within the silence of One’s heart.
Even whilst this pain is sucking all life….
His Love is Greater than pain, His Love is Greater than any pain upon this earth.
I was Never bearing this pain alone, he was always there & He Alone can carry our burdens,
& He does so- Willingly, out of the Selflessness of His Heart.
He has no other task, Other than Love!
And actually this yearning is only to understand this Oneness. That there’s No Separation whatsoever from Him.
5.31pm
And just a few seconds to listening the above talk, the experience that Swami gave me….that he’s been carrying me….
Brother Hari-Shankar shares the same thing, when he asked Swami how come you’re Paramatma & I’m Jivatma & Swami gives a beautiful example and then says it’s just a role play. One can hear how Swami explained the difference between Paramatma & Jivatma,
in the above talk.
And then he goes on to share that luckily for us, the Guru is leading us, carrying us with one hand & at the same time he’s also the beacon that says-come merge with me.
And His most potent weapon for our Transformation is Love. And there’s No human relation that can come close to this Love.
That every birth we may have had parents, siblings, spouse & we must have felt I can’t live without them, because I’m very very attached to those people.
Yet every single life our relations change, parents, siblings spouse change,
But who was present in all lifetimes, there is only one entity present.
And that entity is God, Our Guru patiently waiting, & when the devotee shall finally turn towards him & recognise this Truth; Lord you were the one with me through all life-times. That’s his Grace
For Swami,
to give me this very experience that I could literally sense he’s carrying me through many lifetimes, While I was sinking very bad in this pain…..
& then to give that above poem, the words that poured from him & then within a few seconds to all that,
in the very talk I was listening to, While I took a break from painting the mornings Vision as my energy suddenly dipped very low…..
Such that I had to cut short the painting by lying down to gain some strength, as I was moaning struggling to breathe….
& for him to time this all up this way…
I mean the lengths at which this God- Bhagwan Shree Satya Sai Baba goes to,
Truly, Truly, Truly He’s the Love Of A Thousand Mothers carrying us over many lifetimes, So that at one given time we shall come realise, That too By His Grace,
That This Love we’ve all been seeking all along, was Only Him!!!
6.03pm
PS: Since I was very low on energy,
Hence I’ve not written the above points as verbatim, Because one can always tune to the talk for how elaborately Brother shared.
Infact prior to this talk, Since morning I was tuned to 2-3 talks other talks of devotees,
But within a few seconds of listening, I’d stop that particular talk & go on to listen to the other talk that was auto-lined up,
until I felt it in my heart to continue listening to this particular talk.
Because of the way my heart was yearning for him.
Hence Swamis Divine synchronicity & His Timing is so perfect, and the way he synchronised the entire experience by taking me to this place of Knowing that He Alone was carrying me & always there,
& then confirming that very experience to the teachings in the talk, that too just within a few seconds, Only goes to show- How the master director has it all covered.
I shall Cherish this experience & truly am humbled for him to reach out today, that too on 12th for Coco & me as our Divine Mother, whose love,
truly is the love of A Thousand Mothers!
13th July 2026
Again his messages of Assurance
Above link to post, Truly no one is there other than you
This is a beautiful picture, earlier I thought he’s garlanding the man, but later as I keenly checked, he’s waiting to garland the woman & to me it felt like when I gave back that golden shawl to him, which he had wrapped around me at the onset of this work through a Vision,
So here he’s answering to that prayer….thats how I felt upon seeing this message
Swami, I know I’ve followed your teachings at the cost of everything. And if after 26yrs of relentless tests due to this pain, and some of the most difficult experiences & people that you sent my way. If after all the Selfless Givings if this is how it should end, Where this pain has stripped me off everything, then do as your Please!
I shall not beg, Nor Plead!
Because if Truth of my heart needs clutches of such begging, Then what I shall Receive from you ain’t Love!
And anything short of that Respect & Love isn’t enough for me anymore.
If there’s anything lesser than zero, even as in minus then that’s where I’m at,
At my lowest in all aspects of life. I know you’re seeing Everything
& yet you choose to remain Silent.
You say you’ve not got me this far to Fail.
But I’ve experienced many a failures & yet your tests don’t seem to end. If after all of these gruelling tests I still have to go through tissue biopsy & various other scans & tests, then so be it, But let your word for my diagnosis No Longer be Overruled by any doctor or any soul henceforth.
For Nothing is worth in comparison to my heartfelt offering in this work & to my 26yrs of Faith, Hope & A Selfless heart.
With this pain you took everything & Now you shall give back all that I’ve lost,
For with the Truth of my heart, I’ve lived by
And you shall make eyes that looked down upon me- Open to see me; the way you see my Spirit & heart!
Because Now The Giver shall Receive,
& Receive Only from you!!!
1.44am
Later in the morning I was listening to this above talk, in which a beautiful example of Lord Jaganaths idol making was shared & how Swami saves the daughter of this person who was one pointedly focused on making the idol inspite of knowing his daughter was admitted in the hospital & then, she was in coma & the doctors too had given up.
But since he gave it all in doing Swamis work, Hence Swami saves his daughter & assures him that, When you do my work, then how can I not do your work. Once should listen to the entire talk
So one again through that above message,
Swami assured me to my today’s early morning heartfelt prayer to him
Swami, Truly It’s no longer my Fight, But yours,
& on all fronts of my life, Where everything was taken! And now be it doctors or anyone it maybe,
That person is no longer dealing with me,
But you, because this is your Fight!
For other than you Ive asked for Nothing from anyone…..
& I ask from you, Only because I belong to you & it’s my Birth-Right, to ask but only from you!!!
10.44am
Later as I was painting yesterday Vision, this Overwhelming Love surfaced knowing,
If Swami wants then with a snap of his finger,
Or just by his sheer Will this entire work can be finished…..
But look at the Selfless Love of this God, Not only has he timed this work, with my Blood Cancer diagnosis,
But he’s letting me serve him, By Giving the necessary strength, inspite of failing body as well as crazy doctor that I had to undergo, along with other issues at hand.
He gave this work, So that I could find some meaning in this pain that was to come upon me.
He doesn’t Need me- But I Need Him!!!
To go past each day, every second, Where he alone Knows how the last chapter of this work shall be. Till then he loves, Gives Hope & Strength & even knows my innermost pain & tears
This HOPE that he & Coco kept me giving…. To them I’m indebted until Eternity & Never do I wish my debts towards them to be ever finished.
Because this is what Pure Love is!!!
1.17pm
A time comes when all your Prayers Dissolve in Love, In this Belongingness that you’ve come from him & him alone! This point where I’m at- Where Everything is Finished as in the world is no longer of any help to me, he chose that time to step in.
My prayers for most people, who may have either helped or hurt me- too have dwindled.
It’s all become Concentrated in this Knowing that I’ve come from him & whatsoever he shall do with my life is best for me & there’s Only Greater Trust in Him.
And from this point, I know I’m journeying back to him. That’s all!
Rest all in-between he’s Alreday taken care of & now he shall reveal that to me.
7.00pm
From this Zero & minus stage Only he can pick me up & save me through it all.
And this Trust, This Faith alone is my strength!
A time comes when your Trust I Him is Greater than any of your prayers!
Now the only Vision of Swami blessing this work is remaining to be painted & shared. The one he gave me on the 9th of this month. Which I shall start painting tomorrow.
14th July 2026
Above link to talk,
While painting the Vision of Swami blessing this work, I was listening to the talk in the morning, that Swami asked to include here through chits
Sometimes something transpires in One’s life & the pain gets so deep, that you just become quiet….. I was feeling this intense pain in my heart, that kept me awake till 4am, & Feeling dejected after a long time since Coco’s passing.
& these messages once again shows- Swami knows it all.
Maybe some Truths are far too damaging & better left at his Feet in Silence, then spoken,
In Acceptance of His Will.
But One thing is for sure…
He knows it all & he Never leaves you!
4.44pm
I believe these above messages, along with the talk of this devotee and the way he shares about karma, are all timely.
In Truth when Swami chooses to shower His Grace upon a devotee,
One should know that there are many factors at play behind the scenes, that only Swami knows about,
A time comes in pain, Where he becomes your all go to person.
For He not only knows your situation, but even your heart. And I know in your Trust & Love for him, Swami will go to any extent to shower his Grace, So that you don’t give up.
People who may read this work of Heart of God, shall know about the Visions & Experiences,
But the pain that I went through it all on all aspects of life, for more than 2decades now,
Only he knows about.
So one should truly not feel jealous or even judgmental of why swami reaches out to some devotee in a certain way, like he does,
Because the pain and purification the devotee goes through all those acid -tests, Only Baba knows about!
So it’s better to listen, feel inspired by stories of someone’s Faith and the love Swami showers.
And let those stories further fuel Ones own Faith in him. So that in ones hour of Need- Only Swami can reach that soul, for all the Faith that soul kept upon him.
As no two flowers nor leaves are same,
Hence Swami shall reach out in a way that shall be best for that devotees growth within.
Because when he doesn’t even paint the Sky same every second, then there’s no blue-print to ones devotion & Faith, Hence every devotees journey is custom built.
Yes the starting & end point is the same in each story- that you keep your Faith in him; Unfailingly & there’s Not even One single devotee,
who’s kept his Faith on God- Ever Failed!
For the end point shall be that he shall reach out to you, But how he reaches out, is only best for your souls evolution.
Hence to feel jealous at how he reaches out to someone & wanting those very same experiences of miracles is Nothing short of asking Swami to give me those very painful experiences of that devotees journey too.
Infact when your heart grows in Love for him,
Then your heart shall on it’s own accord of being “A Heart”, Pray for every souls well-being,
even those who may have hurt you in this journey,
So for such A Heart- jealousy is not even there within to surface.
If One wishes to experience this Love of Bhagwan, then all he asks is this Purity,
For Believe me, None has walked in your shoes & None can but him alone & even carry you through it all.
6.21pm
Hence these messages and this talk were needed to be shared here, for he Alone knows everything that’s happened in your love & He Always comes around!
The painting for the Vision given on the 9th is still ongoing, & upon finishing it, I shall share it here.
But Swami,
Now for this work to truly go ahead, it has to go beyond Visions & Messages of Hope!
6.30pm
And once again to my above prayers, that he needs to show himself more than an experience
Of messages & Vision, Swami reached out with this message
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