Heart Of God (continue part 10)
- May 30
- 43 min read
Updated: Jun 18
28th May 2026
Such a beautiful prayer, I too truly feel that this work here is done. It came from His Heart unto mine, Until I realised that it was Never my heart but His; His Presence as this Heart within me. That got me this far in life especially when there were No Answers.
With all the Challenges of this pain & people by and large not understanding, Even that was fodder for my growth.
I know Badal has been rescued & is being given treatment & if Swami wills he will live & he will experience Love from humans in whose heart God-dwells.
As dogs being resilient, do bounce back.
Yet I pray no innocent life has to ever endure such apathy due to human failings.
Swami has saved him too, Because in the end it’s not the name of those who’ve hurt that are remembered, But those who’s Spirit endured the worse & yet didn’t loose their Souls, are the ones dear to God.
So hopefully Now this Heart of God,
when he shall ask me to share- Shall open the Hearts in others who shall know- that God Always dwells within them as this Heart- Simple & Sweet.
Lest the only Choice they need to make is heed to its call within, and not to the mind & its desires, because God speaks to each heart based on their individual journey’s.
11.35am
Above link to post
O Such a beautiful message from him to send here & Especially after the above thought of heart.
I believe the bees shall come & partake the honey from this flower of offering that Swami has given to us.
Yes It’s His Offering to us.
He’s the doer- writer, inspiration, artist behind this- I’m Nothing.
The bees shall benefit as they are wise enough to partake the honey from this work.
Whilst the flies shall meander from birth after birth upon the garbage of their own limited thinking & minds of others. & in doing so bargain their true Self!
1.08pm
Later I asked Swami to send his love as mine wasn’t enough towards a soul, for the way he stood by….
& Later upon asking did he…
Swami says - He’s in my Embrace, I’ve accepted thy prayer, See that is why you’re A Beacon of My Light here, Because even when something challenging or heart-breaking happens in your life, you’re quick to remember- You’re free,
& your Mind easily dissolves all pain in your Heart & your Heart is My Love-Forgiving!
2.33pm
This is the Crux of this entire work- God can’t be Present where there is A Victim- Either there are two Victim’s meeting life’s challenges, with a mind that is unable to show love, fighting, arguing endlessly,
Or there’s Gods Heart Righteously Still, Peaceful, Standing up, But Loving & sending Love!
Either you meet life from the standpoint of A Victim based on all your gathered stories & keep reacting & living life as though on a loop, by suffering for lifetimes over lifetimes.
Or you transcend into A Heart of God that is beyond minds limited thoughts.
The Choice is always yours!!!
You either identify as a victim to your mind-body experiences, Or Know you’re God!!!
3.34pm.
Later A Vision,
I see Swami in yellow gown, he standing facing me, while I’m seated down.
Excitedly he repeats “Take Padnamskar, Take Padnamaskar, Take Padnamskar, My child”,
Then lovingly he pats both my cheeks with his hands & says- “I’m Very, Very, Very Happy,
My Child”,
Then he places both his hands upon the i-pad, (where this work is saved), as he says-
“I Bless it, I Bless it, I Bless it!!!”
And while saying it- thrice, he touches the i-pad that I’m holding, by placing both his palms upon it
Vision ends
PS: Finished both the paintings by 29th
4.38pm
(I take a screen shot of my cell, for noting down the time of Vision, to be included later, as my eyes were shut. At times he gives the Vision whilst my eyes are open & I’m engaged in some activity.
But when this Vision was given, I had just taken a break from painting & was laying, in order to get back on energy)
29th May 2026
That lil voice from within
“Beloved if is said I’ll come, then I’ll come,
I’ll Not Forsake you Bangaroo!!!”
1.42am.
Since my energy not only dipped but i felt I’ll slip,
i told him it seems I’m dying…
& hence he gave me the above words of assurance
1.44am
Mother it was your Sheer Grace to let me do this work.
Please see to it that it gets shared as per your Will!
But something doesn’t feel right, if i die, then let me die at your lotus feet. Make sure of that.
& Thank you for Everything, but I’m truly not in a good condition. Tho i know- you know it already!!!
2.07am
& immediately he sends this message of Grace, as I wrote to him that this work happened only by thy sheer grace
Swami please make sure that the last Vision of you Blessing this work is painted & we still have to share the 27th & 28th post on our site, as the paintings are ongoing.
Please let me finish the last painting & share this work, post that if i die also I’m fine. Because my life’s purpose is met. But till then no matter how bad this gets- keep me going! Hopefully tomorrow we can finish both the paintings & share the post
2.56am
Swami since this work is near to completion once i finish the painting of yesterday’s Vision….
Then From my end all the steps are taken-
Now from your end you decide, Where does my life & souls like Badals stand with this pain.
Because the pain has played it’s part & our souls kindness too has played it’s part, irrespective of how we were seen or met,
But now you have to play your part in the grand scheme of things!
They say- When you do Gods work then God does your work.
Please Heal Badals jaw…
Please Show up!!!
By giving him a miraculous healing & not being subjected to months of pain by a wire being attached to hold his jaw
He sure doesn’t deserve this…
Otherwise this work that’s called -
“The Heart Of God”- truly has No Heart in it.
As for me, either heal & give A New Beginning,
in all aspects of my life
Or let me leave too, Just like Coco!
2.52pm
That’s a beautiful message, because I would write letters to Shirdi baba since my school days,
So yes he did call….
Later again that lil voice from within
“I Embrace you with A Love that’s Kind!
& along you all the souls you’ve prayed for!”
5.48pm
Above link to post
Swami sent such a beautiful talk, that also especially since yesterday the post is about animals & kindness, But the kindness with which this lord met his devotees who came in an animal form is truly heart touching.
& by the end of the talk I was simply melting in tears at the love & lengths with which Swami goes to show us this respect & acknowledgment to Ones Service & teachings of oneness.
Entire day till late evening i was working & finished painting yesterday’s Vision,
as there were 2 artworks of the Vision
& upon finishing i told him- Now you have to Finish the stories of our life- for Badal healing & love!
As for me if there’s no healing then please let me go!!!
Thank you!
But now you have to intervene maa!!!!
10.53pm
Even this last message of the day, is in context of seeing God in all living beings. As lovingly Swami is holding this rabbit. I know, Swamis love has reached Badal too as an assurance from this above message.
Later That lil voice within
Your Faith will Not Fail, Your Faith will Not Fail!!! Your Baba will be there, Even before you call!!’ 11.47pm
30th May 2026
Everyone meets you from the place they are at. But you should meet yourself from the place-
God is at.
This journey is more about seeing yourself, Checking the mind space that you’re entangled in, & knowing- you’re not what you think.
It’s Not even about checking on-others
Yes Observing is a beautiful space of heart.
Observing yourself & surrounding liberates. Observing makes One Aware of Gods breath within. And Observing Alone creates a distance between this breath- this presence within from ones own limited mind & a body that’s every single second dying.
This Presence remains untouched,
Since there’s No Beginning, No End, No Time.
This Presence alone shall Be,
Even when dissolution of ones mind, body
& even this Cosmos shall happen, Which it shall,
in it’s own time…..
The Presence Alone shall be, For it is beyond time!
And in knowing & Experiencing this alone-
you’ll know how Gods Heart breathes!!!
For This Heart is not like a human heart,
But In Love & As Love Ever Expanding.
Observe more why you think, speak or feel the way you do & something within you shall shift
into a space of Silence & Being & then you’ll realise not only were you never separate from God; But you art that!!!
Because wheresoever, Gods Heart dwells,
there itself Grace, Beauty & Blessings are showered upon this earth.
Samastha Lokah Sukino Bhavantu!
Samastha Lokah Sukino Bhavantu!
Samastha Lokah Sukino Bhavantu!
12.57pm
Mother now either you have to call me to you & Coco Or you have to come!!!
2.38pm
Above link to post
And once again to my above feelings, he comes with such a beautiful message, where the words in the song means- you are aware of my happiness & sadness & I am what I am, because of you.
And with this message Swami went all out,
as while doing yesterdays painting of the vision, where swami asks to take Padnamaskar, I tell Swami now either your Grace shall flow, Or I’ll be left to live this kind of a life. And out here, in the animation there’s actually grace flowing from him to me. Grateful for having a Beloved Lord like him!!! 3.51pm
Swami inspired me to drive to the Ganpati temple that’s on Shivaji Park grounds.
For blessings upon this work from Bappa.
I barely managed to reach 5 minutes to 11,
before the gates are closed & then people can take Darshana, standing outside through the grill door.
So I asked the priest if he could touch the iPad for blessing. He touched it to Bappas feet & then applied haldi kum-kum upon it & placed an hibuscus flower with durva that was offered to Bappa.
I thanked Swami for the Blessing that inspite of me feeling very down in energy, we could make it in time for the Blessings.
As No work is ever complete without Ganpati Bappas Auspicious Blessings!!!
I later walked around the circle as the entire day, I was at home.
It was a very slow & difficult walk, considering the energy dips with Cancer. But nevertheless Swami gave me the energy as well as got me back home safely.
31st May 2026
Above link to post
My Prayer had reached you long back…
Yet…There was always a wait.
It’s the last day of this month. With your blessings we even managed to get Ganpati Bappa’s blessings of haldi kumkum upon this iPad.
But Now either my Faith shall win!
Or my heart shall loose!!!
As beyond this month, it can’t go on like this anymore!
1.53am
Today’s day- “Let Truth Alone Speak!!!”
These feet of yours are placed upon this rug- Believe me i may not have placed a red carpet for you, But my Heart Alone Pure- is enough!!!
2.40am
Beloved you say that it is our Love Alone that pulls you to come….i waited & waited & prayed yesterday till 3.30-4am…..But you didn’t come…..
I started working on this painting based on my innermost feelings I shared below, while tears streaming.
And listening to this beautiful song- of how Mother Parvati too had to do tapas to attain Lord Shiva for years. I guess no one can win the lord without being subjected to Fires of purity.
Am sharing Apple Music as well as Spotify link to listen
The Pain that I would have lived today, I have Alreday lived that yesterday…..
if you know what I mean by this very sentence,
Because even this paper is not enough to contain all of my tears of last 26yrs & especially the Ones that wept profusely in his longing…
& then after a few hours of sleep, when this day arrived lending suns light, as though this earth woke up to it’s New Beginning,
Yet my heart in darkness weighed down….
& the choking in my throat, the silent tears that I wipe every now & then, the heaviness upon my heart & a quietness that can’t be bought.
All I offer to thee.
Maybe your Sai Geeta’s trumpeting was purer than the offering of my heart. But how can I even offer you this heart, When it was given to me, in the very first place by thee-
As thy very presence & how can I offer you any Love- When that love too was yours only placed in it. So in truth I have Nothing to offer you-
Because its all given from you to me.
Yet the only thing I have left offering to you- is this Pain, these tears, this choking within my throat & heart & this Silence. There are No Shabaris half-bitten berries here, There’s No Hanumans heart too, There’s No red carpet, There’s no meals as your devotees would cook & offer thee freshly-made, nor is this house of yours spick & span cleaned for thy welcome, there’s not even Sai Geeta’s trumpeting,
there’s not even two buffaloes who’ve served you,
Because I know this work is also you, not me,
it’s you serving us. There’s Nothing here…Nothing….Nothing…. So I totally get it, if you don’t wish to come…. Like most….Becasue there’s Nothing here…. Other than this Longing & Tears!!!
Just wish to say-
I’ve lived my tomorrows longing yesterday itself….
Now there’s only this quietness & tears
& I shall keep wiping them until they too dry into An Abyss of Silence!
Because if these salty tears aren’t sweet for thee- than what more can I offer you to partake of;
My Beloved of Beloved’s Sai!!!
For I’ve lived my tomorrow’s pain yesterday Alreday!!!
11.25pm
This is the exact picture he had inspired me to paint for the Vision- Where he says “I’m the Driver of your car”, meaning life. & here he’s asking me, “Will you let me in?”, I mean maa can’t you see my tears & pinning that you still need to ask this….
What more do I need, but you!
Above link to post
You say Truth & Righteousness will always Triumph & that’s exactly what I asked you-
Today’s day- “Let Truth Alone Speak!!!” Then why haven’t you’ve come….Because all I did was abide in the Truth of the Self & Righteousness of my heart, Yet here I stand alone- stranded in life….
It doesn’t matter if the entire world is against you…..It Truly matters not….. But if Swami is not with you….If he doesn’t heed to your innermost silent call- Then Everything is lost!
Because if God is not with you, then having a human birth too has no value, your life here has
no value, No matter what one my achieve in this world, it’s all futile.
2.05pm
PS: I’ve finished the drawing, will paint…but tears & this work has no value if he doesn’t come…..
There’s just deep pain that you didn’t come,
No Panic….
Yes it’s True it’s all just a drama, because in Truth there is no you & me, There is only Him. And him within each helping that soul reach that purity. One only feels as A Victim out of Separetness form this Truth. Hence we are all actors, because whatever happens to ones body & mind, Truly doesn’t take way or add anything from this Essence of Presence within. For the Presence is Paripoorna by itself, unaffected by time, mind, body. Hence Swami says it’s all just a drama, until One reaches in Awareness of this Presence.
i painted the above prayer, emotion, Silence & tears on a piece of paper, worked non-stop through the day & by late evening 8.30pm the offering was finished
Now I have nothing more left to offer him, There’s this Silence within & A Heart that’s One with all, who’ve experienced this deep pain of longing.
O Beloved Freind,
there’s Nothing more left on my part.
Now there’s Only this Heart filled with Silence.
9.18pm
Baba, I Believe in Your Blessings!!!
1st June 2026
Since i said i have Nothing but Silence now, so this above message from him…
Yet he didn’t come, he didn’t come, he didn’t come……As a wave of Overwhelming pain chokes my throat & lays heavy upon my heart
11.52am
2nd June 2026
Today early morning by 3.30-4am I shared the most heartbreaking moment with him.
& It shall stay between him & me only.
& later all I said is- “Make All my Wrongs- Right!”
That Silence that pain I shared while asking him to end mine & Cocos life, if this is how my life in pain shall be- & Since he showed me,
Coco has already come again, I felt what’s the point of him coming to a life like this
You say Be my Near & Dear!
Yet I ask- Am I truly your dear kept in the engulfment of thy loving embrace………
2.30pm
PS: Started painting on this last work so as to say as Swamis Near & Dear!
One thing if I’ve understood is that if you can make All of your Battles between you & him, Between you & Only Him!!! Then you’re Sure to win! Because you only Need him on your side!
A time will come in every souls journey to Choose Him Over Everything-else!!! Because then you’ll ask Only Him to Fight!!!
2.59pm
Later that lil voice from within
“Everything is about to Change in a big way,
My Child!”
3.30pm
3rd June 2026
Am I under the illusion like my most relations that
I am yours…..
Am I under the illusion like my most relations
“That you’re mine”;
Because what more can there be….
To Justify, that you’ve Not still come….
12.24pm
In Forgiveness I’ve Changed my story from Pain to Love!
9.36pm
Above link to Swamis video
Above link to Swamis video
Once again all the messages are about his Divine timings & Assurance
4th June 2026
I have been standing alone for long, Only because you’re the Truth of my soul!!!
Above link to Swamis darshan
To the One who is Bliss; How can my pain ever touch him; lest alone even make him weep….
11.43am
& again I sobbed profusely asking him,
Either you come….Or put an end to a life like this. Hence forth in our life, it’s either you-
Satya Sai Baba as the Sole Force,
Or the same old sheer Nonsense & this life of unending pain
1.26pm
By late evening I finished this painting of Am I your near & dear, the poem which I had written on 2nd of this month, as it took 2days to finsih this work
You say Be my Near & Dear!
Yet I ask- Am I truly your Near& dear kept in the engulfment of thy loving embrace………
2.30pm.
2/6/2026
Beloved today is Thursday, I’ve offered you every last drop of my prayer & devotion….Now Please Come! Please Come with Blessings, Healing & Abundance for us, For now there’s Truly Nothing more left to offer…. Please come & take away this heavy feeling off my chest once & for all & let Truth & Righteousness Win Now!!!
Otherwise end my life today itself Beloved, Please End my life!!!
Now you have to come as Fulfilment for all your messages of Hopes & Assurance.
8.19pm
I know now, Why Swami asked me to pray to him back in 2010, just before he left his physical body in 2012.
I was in Puttaparthi with my parents & cousins & few relatives.
& he made me pray to him- that being my mother & only & only if he accepts this responsibility as my mother, that my life is solely His Responsibility & No one else’s other than him, then he should come out in an open chair to give darshan.
Which he did in the November of 2010, being Diwali. He took pains to come out in an open chair, even tho his hip injury….
Where for 2-3days prior, we would only get a glimpse of him, as he’d come in a car & on one other day he didn’t even come for darshan.
But that day he came in an open chair & his chair waited right in front of the aisle I was seated in.
I had cried non-stop for more than 45mins straight saying- if you can’t take my life’s responsibility as my mother, then don’t come out at all to give darshan & that shall be your answer to me, that even you can’t carry my burdens.
But he did & his face shone like gold-copper,
And he was taking to someone in the front row, while I was seated on the 10th or 12th row,
crying inconsolably that he heard my prayer,
& not just heard my prayer but accepted to take my life’s responsibility.
And when he felt he gave me enough time, his chair moved forward & immediately my heart cried out- “No Mother, don’t leave, Not yet!”
And he immediately he pushed back the wheel & again waited right at the very same spot, letting me weep some more….as i cried & cried & cried, that he had accepted me the way I am-
broken, with no way out, no cure, no place in this world. Completely wiped out & erased due to this pain & seen as a burden by many.
With No answers to this medical condition &
Only a heart of his Hope. He Accepted me & my Responsibility!!!
Hence even if the world has turned its back upon me- He hasn’t. He knows my Faith & he knows I’ve not given up on my Belief!
Now everyone who turned me down, Shall see I was Never on my own! I Have Him!!! & this shall be the story of my & Cocos journey of Hope that He Never gave up on me!!!
8.45pm
I was, & Am Solely His Responsibility!!! Thank you Mother for Everything!
5th June 2026
Now whatever has to happen- Let it come forth from your Heart;
If Not….
then I’m Alreday heading towards the inevitability of life; which is death!
But Henceforth…
“Not from Force, Only Source!!!”
1.53am
Already surrendered since I asked him to do it by source, Not Force.
When One Only shares with Him things that are hurtful, Something begins to Change;
For His Listening too is A Miracle in itself!
But when you keep talking about it, you keep relieving the same Pain.
The Answer Always is in sharing with him-Alone, Entrusting Him & then in that space of Silence that one can call “Surrender & Peace”;
Something begins to Emerge!
A Change within One’s heart- that He’s there
& He Knows! And Him Knowing Alone, is my Respite & Rescue,
For He Alone Shall Remove me from all of these problems that have no way out & cure!
10.44am
Stay Free from the effects of your own Mind
by being A Child; Who Believes- He’s Never Alone,
Because God is always there & He Knows!
When you lean this way only on God, then you have No Expectations from anyone!!!
Because All Problems Arise From Expectations!!!
& just because His Love still holds me in
An Embrace that says- “Don’t Loose Heart-
Keep Going on!”,
In Love it’s no longer where his body ends & mine begins- For in my every breathless-breath, he too cried. And his love alone through my every darkness breathed An Healing-Light!
A Love like this Alone Blooms within you-
“A New Life!”
3.30pm
I Believe Coco gave up his wings, to be with me,
PS: Finished the work by 7th evening.
In Being Loved by you, Coco- I forgot all Rights & Wrongs & in that I Became Like you- Love!
For Coco & Swami, all these works of love I offer.
Since I had asked him in my yesterday’s post- if am I your dear….& today his reply.
For me this message is in context to Coco, since I started the above painting today, stating his love still keeps me going.
6th June 2026
Baba you have to fulfil your promises of all the given Assurance
Above link to post
Beautiful darshan video with the song- that you’re my mother, father, Freind & everything.
Some works of love come from a Space of such Quietness & Pain…. Because it was
Only God, Who in those heart-breaking moments, sat Besides you.
12.33pm
Some pains that life sends your way, Washes you out of all Residues of Minds- Rights & Wrongs,
Of Yes & No’s & All Polarities of mine & thine, Abandonment & Belongingness.
Baba says whatsoever he gives- Happy Or Painful; is for Ones Good.
Yet when Pain reaches a threshold, then it washes you out in Quietness.
Into A Heart Of God!
Into A Truth where there are No Words!
1.05pm
Baba,
Give us Healing & Blessings of Abundance
Not because of any deservedness….
But Only & Only Because I didn’t Falter in my heart, amidst all the Challenges
If this work truly is about Heart Of God & this Heart within me is Nothing but thou,
Then Reach Out Now!!! Otherwise this child of yours Shall Forever live in Silence!
Because you always say- Ask & it shall be Given, Knock & it shall open!
(As again in the message you gave yesterday night.)
5.13pm
Once Again this above message in context to his yesterdays teachings that share only with him.
Everything is Just A Play!
Baba is Nothing But A Mirror to your Soul!
You Sai “Yes”, He will Show up,
You say “I Believe”- He will make it happen,
You say “No & doubt”, He will go with your thought!
Because Baba is Beyond Science & He’s A Mirror to your Soul!!!
11.15pm
Yes I Believe there’s None Kinder & Graceful than you My Beloved! Now let my Belief show the world how even the most impossible of pains are healed by Sai. Both Physically & deep down spiritual. Because today I offer you This Belief of my Heart!!! Let this be a lesson for many to come, That there’s None kinder than God!!!
None Kinder than you My Sai!!!
11.25pm
For Now I wish to experience Thy Incredible Love for me!!! Everything is just a game- Even this Cancer & Pain. And my Only Move is Belief in you O Sai! That’s my Only move- Faith & Belief!!! 11.41pm
7th June 2026
This Body is not me, This life within is not me,
He’s Painting….(while finishing my & Cocos painting today)
There’s Only Him! There’s Only Him!
11.25am
& as on an autonomous mode….
This Heart kept calling out- “Mother, Mother, Mother”; For this old ragged cloth of a body,
Simply lay- Shut-down in pain; As this life is solely His Responsibility!
PS : The Heart Knows where to go & it must call onto, None but Him!
1.08pm
Just Finished posting yesterday’s work, Now the last painting that i had started yesterday night in context to I Believe poem…has to be re-started on an acrylic paper, as my sketchbook couldn’t handle layers of colour washes & the paper tore.
Post this work, whether I live Or Die,
due to this pain that leaves me sinking,
truly matters not, because I Know without
His Grace, Blessings & Intervention,
Everything is Finished as long as my life here is concerned.
And the only thing that can save me is him!
6.21pm
Was painting the last painting of this work & had applied layers of golden base coat,
Whilst listening to a devotees talk & taking a break for the base colour to dry that’s when he gives a vision…
Vision- He’s seated on a Jhula, swinging back & forth,
smiling & pointing towards me & then he points towards his chest & says-“You’re My Heart! You’re My heart! You’re My Heart!”
& his words keep ringing & echoing as though on an endless loop.
8.48pm
(The above photo is for reference of Swami seated on a jhula)
Above link to talk
& later after a few minutes to the above Vision that Swami gave,
in this talk it’s shared-
the lord comes & resides in your heart, when it’s Pure…
I take a screen-shot of this moment when he shares that….
I mean….What can I say more…. his timing
& the way he communicates & then gives a sign
9.02pm
8th June 2026
Above link to post
Yesterday Swami gave a Vision of him seated on a jhula & today morning, the very first post on my feed
Where my heart breathes;
There all Success & Victory is imminent My Child! When Father has spoken - “You’re My Heart!”,
Then Nothing & None can overrule this Presence of Truth within.
For in doing so, They But Only Negate their own-selves.
& where can One Find Solace on earth,
When one forgets Ones self; God within.
You’re My Heart; Your Success & Victory is imminent!!!
Your Father has spoken,
Now Nothing & None can Overrule this Truth of this heart; My Presence in thee!
11.55am
Yestreday Night while working on this painting….till 2.30am there was this deep pain,
What if Baba doesn’t come….i told him,
Once this work is done, this painting is complete. You have to come!
But what if he doesn’t….
& then there was this great trepidation,
If he doesn’t come, then I’m all alone.
I have Nothing here to go on with this pain…
maybe this painting should never be finished…… So that I can still have Hope to go on one more day, rather than live in this pain hopelessly.
Whilst continuing the painting today,
Once again my heart sobbed profusely,
Whilst listeing to this beautiful satsang,
I Cried out to him in deep-deep pain, that if you don’t choose to come…..
Then take me to you & Coco!
I don’t wish to be here anymore once this project is done, I don’t wish to be here anymore….
I don’t wish to be here, take me to you & coco. 26yrs of a life in this pain are enough maa.
1.35pm
Above link to satsang that I was listening to while painting, about 9 forms of devotion,
& how beautifully they included stories with such soulfully sung bhajans.
Baba I don’t know if I’ve offered you these 9 forms of devotion as Laxmi bai did, & in your Shirdi Sai avatar you gave her 9 coins stating your happiness towards her devotion.
But whatever I offered has only come from this heart! So Please Accept it!
inspite of the above jhula sign…If post this painting,
Swami still Chooses not to come…Then…
I truly don’t wish to be here anymore.
2.52pm
The Painting got done by 5.55pm,
Though I had painted this as an offering to the Belief poem written on 6th…
But something within said,
I should share this painting in context to today mornings assurance he gave.
Hence I’ve shared here.
Baba, there’s Nothing left on my part anymore with this work.
If you Choose Not to come, then please take me! Because this weight upon my heart is unbearable to live with.
6.58pm
With this above Assurance all I wish to say is- “Thank you for being there & taking care of Everything!!!”
9th June 2026
Yesterday night was the most distressing of nights…Once the work was offered through last painting, I felt he shall intervene…
But something within said Not just yet….
And I couldn’t take this pain of wait anymore & I cried inconsolably. The weight of this pain was killing me.
I didn’t want to live anymore this way.
I wept holding on to his pictures; both Shirdi Sai & Parthi Sai, along with Coco’s ashes that let me merge in thee. This work here is done!
Let me merge in thee.
For 26yrs I kept the Spirit high with Hope, Faith & Tears, But Now it’s Enough! This Life is Enough!!!
This Pain is Enough!!!
I cried & cried….
Later in the morning….
Swami, Please take over,
For I’ve handed over everything!!!
& Thank you for the sign you gave today morning,
in context to my prayer….
that this work truly did come from your heart as a blessing!
Later I asked him in chits- by writing dates starting from today till 15th of this month,
Asking when do you wish to intervene,
Which day amongst the written dates…
I cast the chits at his lotus feet,
Chanted Gayatri- Once & picked the answer as coming from him.
And he answered by picking up the chit with 14th written on it.
That he shall intervene by 14th of this month
So as he mentioned the date 14th,
I have 5days before he intervenes
Swami in these 5days,
let me dissolve in you in all entirety,
So much that if I were to die too, then this death too is Nothing, But absolving of this already dying body & mind into your Presence & Divinity.
Let the body drop, let the mind merge
& this heart as you mentioned is Alreday yours.
Every second let this lead me only to you
& merge only in you!!!
I want Nothing more.
And I know no better way, then to paint your portraits in these intervening days,
& in doing so….If my spirit is free of this cage,
Then come & Recieve my soul!
And let it merge in the love that is You & Coco Pure, Peaceful & Blissful!
And then Share this Offering of Our Hearts;
this work of love with all the way you wish to
.
Let Thy Will Be Done!!!
Either show up in a way, that Ushers in A New Beginning to our lives, Or let me merge in you.
1.26pm
Actually all the pains you get in life are only meant to lead you to Him; Lead you to God.
He’s Built the Universe such…That in the End Nothing will give you Happiness other than Him. We have All for lifetimes Over Lifetimes been seeking Only Him.
2.55pm
That’s why Baba says- “Happiness is Union with God!”
Above link to post
Later I just broke into tears & told him…
I don’t want any answers, Nor Healing,
Nor Assurance, Nor Messages of Hope;
I Only Need you!
I don’t even want to be your hanuman, nor that tiny squirrel, Or Dhruva Or Prahlada, Nor a devotee; I Only Need you!
I can’t even sing anymore, (as I tried singing bhajans to him in the evening, but felt so overwhelmed & choked that I couldn’t)
Nor could I paint, As my heart is too pained…
Nor do I intend to serve; I Only Need you!
I don’t even want to be known, nor have relations to again come down & be born, I Need You!
Thy bowl of water is empty, For there in I’ve filled my tears & this broken heart, this pain deep within Which for lifetimes I’ve carried upon this earth;
For I Need You!!!
And along with my tears I offer this deep silence that only longs to merge in the Absolute.
Yes I failed Coco, I couldn’t even do the exhibition in his honour, even tho it’s been 4.5yrs to his passing. I guess that the only failure I shall carry with me & even that failure I offer thee.
Because other than these tears now there’s Nothing left to offer you Sai!!!
Don’t ask me to be something,
Because I’m Your Nothing!!!
11.30pm
10th June 2026
After yesterdays tears silence into the night, Where I couldn’t get myself to paint, nor sing due to this deep longing of pain within, where everything seemed less….
in compared to this pain within.
& then…
In the morning I wake up to A Vision-
Swami is here seated on Shesha Sai,
I see him at Close quarter- His face & shoulders with both hands raised in Blessings!
I actually feel him Alive as in Flesh & Blood,
He’s smiling at me, While Blessing
& I then I see him from left to right, like how a camera pans.
But I feel him Alive- Alive in Flesh & Blood!
The Vision stays for a while, with his peaceful smile & that Love-filled Assurance & then it ends.
9.30am
PS: I finished the painting by 11th late evening
Above link to post
To the mornings Vision, I didn’t know what to even say….i just kept quiet & let this sink, I felt so strongly he’s Alive not gone…& only by late afternoon I wrote this down. Though I started painting the Vision by morning itself
3.51pm
When you come at a stage in life; Baba I can’t anymore do it on my own, You do it for me,
That’s His Grace,
When you feel such helplessness that you gave him all, That’s His Grace to taste The Trust that’s born out of a child’s heart for its Mother- Unasked!!!
And in that most painful of moments- You shall experience A Love that’s Sweetest!
10.44am
That lil Voice from within, When i was just about to start painting the morning Vision-
Keep this painting in the temple, Once this painting is done keep this painting in the temple. 12.31pm
Again a message of Assurance above link
11th June 2026
I was awake to due to uneasiness of pain & couldn’t at all get myself to sleep….
Later i get A Vision - 3.29am
I see Ganpati Bappa, wearing a pink Dhotar/Dhoti (traditional Asian attire)
As he walks towards me & then he says-
“I’ve come to stay in your heart & home.
This is my father’s home!”
And he goes right to the temple area of my home & sits there Or rather has made his presence visible there.
He’s seated right in the centre as I see his four hands are holding blessings & his large ears are fanning- constantly,
Whilst he’s smilingly looking at me
Vision ends
Later I google the Spiritual meaning of the Vision
The imagery of Ganesha wearing a pink dhotar brings a warm, joyous, and auspicious vibe to your devotion, It signifies a gentle, nurturing energy rather than a strict or fearful one.
while the fanning of his large ears symbolizes him gently listening to every prayer, worry, and whisper from your heart.
Whilst the words "I've come to stay in your heart and home"
Beyond the Idol: This signifies the transition of Ganesha from an idol that is welcomed and then immersed into a living, daily presence in your life. It reflects the realization that the Vighnaharta(remover of obstacles) resides within your own consciousness.
Heart Over Home: While we invite Bappa to our physical homes for festivals, He ultimately resides in the spiritual heart. It means his peace and wisdom are accessible to you wherever you are.
3. "This is my Father's home"
Lord Shiva's Domain: In the Hindu Trinity, Lord Shiva (the supreme consciousness and Ganesha's father) represents the ultimate, eternal home of the soul
After a very long time- i felt such lightness & joy upon this vision like a weight had been lifted from my chest.
4.02am
PS - the above painting got finished by 13th late evening.
Above link to post of assurance of healing
Almost by 6pm, the painting for yesterdays vision of Swami with Shesha Sai got complete & very soon, I’ll start painting the morning Ganesha Vision.
After the evening walk & bhajan singing,
I felt a deep restlessness & that’s when I told him, I’m not waiting till 14th that is Sunday of this month, as he had chosen in the chits to intervene.
Tomorrow is 12th,
the date Coco left in April of 2022.
Since Ganesha too has made his presence here at a time, When it’s truly very distressing….
& to your above messages- “People who have Faith in god will never be let down”.
And even this message- “When Sai is on your side, Nothing is Impossible”
Then tomorrow’s day itself in respect to Coco’s selfless Givings & his love that withstood me in the toughest times of my life.
In Respect to his life, you shall make your Presence evidently clear in my life,
So much so that not only shall you come,
But even give healing, abundance, love to us,
& you shall make me independent in my life, because I had to give up on so much due to this pain.
You shall resolve all the pressing issues that only you’re aware of. And you shall give me a good life so that I can paint & exhibit & even finance my own projects & then utilise every bit of energy to help souls like me.
Through paintings & writings you shall bless me to share your & cocos love,
So whatsoever I shall leave behind is Gods presence here upon this earth.
& You shall support me & make sure that this simple dream to share your love is never hampered by any obstacle henceforth.
These 26 yrs of my life, this pain & darkness was a teaching for my soul.
But let the pain be put to rest now.
For Now let Truth, Righteousness, Coco’s selfless love, my prayers & this Heart win.
11.43pm
12th June 2026
Above link to post
For some reason after I prayed to Swami to honour Coco’s love, my heart as if on some automatic calling started chanting Gayatri mantra….And it is has not stopped even upon waking.
A Mothers Love for her Child asks out of the Selflessness of God. & even after her Child may have passed on- Her Heart every second prays for well-being of that soul!
So yes even before he asked to chant- He made my heart chant Gayatri in honour of Coco.
I feel by this message here, Lord Krishna means Coco, the reason being just yesterday night I cried profusely & told him- Why did you give birth to Coco, as he had shown me in the earlier Vision Coco will come back into our lives.
When you’ve not healed me.
What’s the point of getting him here, to live a life again of such pains with me.
If you can’t take my responsibility of life, then why even give him birth.
So I had fought….
“Don’t bring a Life here When you can’t even take our Responsibilities”
Hence this message was in context of my yesterday fight with him
For me a lot of things are Over in this Journey of pain, Journey of Heart & Truthful Givings….
Where I bore my heart & was met with closed doors.
Because Truth is easily sold, Selflessness is considered as an act of weakness & Kindness is Received but the very heart that gives; is Trampled upon later as man’s desires are Never Ending; Something where even God shall Fail to meet them.
PS: I Guess it’s only befitting this painting got done by 14th late evening. As Ganesha painting was ongoing. Since 14th is the last chapter of this work. For this painting to be done by then, is befitting. Because Faith comes Before God.
If upon this barren land of my soul- If at all flowers should bloom, Let they be of Your Boundless Mercy & Love! If at all I should keep going,
then let it be only in the name of yours & Coco!!!
Because the Purity of Love that your hearts emanated- Is Only what I ever Thirst for.
As everything else here is measured in Gives & Takes & Everything here is based on how much one shall Give based on the value of what’s sold.
And souls like mine have Nothing to sell here,
for our Value is measured in Pains & Failures
& Not in the Heart that God Chose to make it
His very own…His Home!
11.16am
Where God is Overruled- There Nothing Blooms!!! Honour Coco’s life.
Later this Vision
I’m seated in Sai Kulwant hall, in the very first row.
He’s standing in front of me.
I see myself in a bright red saree & he reaches out with his right index finger, as he applies a Kum-Kum dot on my forehead & says-
“Don’t worry, I’ve Blessed you to be a Sumangali”, & then I see him holding Coco, Who’s already born,
& very gently he places him upon my lap. Vision ends
12.26pm
later upon google of the word Sumangali, it’s a Sanskrit term means a married woman whose husband is still living. It directly translates to
“one who embodies or brings Auspiciousness, joy, prosperity, and good fortune”.
And in certain traditions their souls are honoured to bring blessings upon the families, because they precede their husbands.
With this Vision he showed, I’ve brought you into this world, Then Rest Assured your Responsibility is mine to bear.
So to the pain I felt yesterday, why keep me here with this life, Or even bring Coco, he gave an assurance that everything shall be well.
He truly is A Love of A Thousand Mothers, Because he acknowledged a mother’s simple prayer that honour her child’s life, Which he did & that too today.
Because of the way you’ve Showered such Grace & Blessings upon me, in a time of my life,
that’s painful beyond Understanding….
& with this chanting & prayers…
“I’ve Become Gayatri”,
For me, to let this feeling out in words, makes my hair stand upon my skin….As A Quiver of his Love has washed something deep within….
For it’s comes from a place of Heart that’s Humbled by Gods Love!!!
1.49pm
Entire day from morning till 9.30pm, I was working on the Ganesha Vision painting. Maybe by tomorrow’s day it shall finish.
Later these messages of assurance from him….Though if all seems Enough now,
this pain, this life, this wait….Everything
13th June 2026
Now let the Vision of yesterday,
in retrospect to Coco & me, Be made into reality.
Otherwise it’s all just a flash of visuals & failed promises.
2.43am
You say- I’ve done Nothing wrong…
Then show me, You say you shall heal & give all that was lost- then show me,
You say I stand by you & Truth & Righteousness are bound to win- then show me,
You say my heart is your home- & Thou art the fulfilment of prayers in it- then show me.
For Beloved long has this wait been & long have I been stripped off from the respect & dignity every life here deserves to be met with.
Now it’s no longer my honour of a human birth; But An Honour of years & Years of thy Promises made unto me.
It’s no longer my failure of this Heart; But your Failure to Reveal, I Never Stood Alone; For God walked beside & even carried me.
It’s No Longer my Failure of A Faith,
But yours to bear, because the One who Promised me that Nothing is Impossible with him- Today he too is tardy in coming…
Now show up for me & make thy words spoken to my heart- Be Truth!!!
That thou shalt Not make me Fall & Thou shall bring An Honour to my life & Give All that in this Pain was lost!
Because i gave you my Faith & Patience,
Now you give me this heart too of yours - That looks me upon with eyes of Kindness & A Belongingness in Love!!!
9.18am
Now you come to the door of my home,
For you have Already have made my heart thy own!!!
Now thy Promises shall be seen in an experience of my years of Faith; that others shall simply call- “A Miracle!!!”
For I didn’t loose my Faith in you,
Even when you took everything…..
to see do I shake in my love for you
& falter from This Belief- That God Alone shall
Do it for me- That which seemed Impossible to all!!!
9.27am
Above link to post
Please make the way for us now Swami,
because you know that these last 1.5month has been so gruelling & taxing.
Please make the way, Otheriwse this dead end we’ve come to, shall end everything!
Again a Vision-
I see his hands holding mine. while he gives these words to my heart-
Thy Burdens are mine to carry, For now these eyes shall only weep in Gratitude & Joy,
For thy Belief has made you Whole My Child!
10.17 am
To have this Humility in life is one of Gods Greatest Gifts; That Lord I can’t do it anymore….
I cannot bear it anymore,
O Lord Please Come Save me!!!
11.04am
Today I’ve told him,
As soon as this painting of Ganesha Vision,
Where he comes & sits here in my home is Finished- All Vighna shall Perish!!!
& with the Blessings & Grace of Ganpati Bappa. And in that very instance He Shall take over all problems to save me. He shall Change Everything from that very instance. And My Heart Truly Shall Be His Place of Dwelling!!!
Because in this world, if he doesn’t Accept the Offering of my Heart & My Calling- then it’s All Over for me!!!
11.34am
Today while working on the Ganesha painting,
I was listening to this talk & maybe I must have shared it earlier here, I don’t recollect,
but I share it again.
As Brother Amey shared how he longed for Swamis darshan & to sing Bhajan for him.
And Swami kept testing him…
Above link to talk
& to add to it, this deep longing within me;
that he should come into our lives,
just threw me off all equanimity & I cried like a child, Not wanting to go on any more, any second if Swami doesn’t come as promised. At times there are no words to describe this feeling when you long for Swami, as it was shared in the talk, your longing for him outweighs this world.
While painting was still on, Second part of his talk too followed which is based on this work- that you & I are one as Swami says & somewhere this work Heart of God guides one to reach that awareness too.
Just now the Ganesha painting got done & ive Offered it to him.
Now I Await Him!!!
To heal All That’s Broken & to come with All Auspiciousness Of A New Beginning!
With this, the work is over, except for a small painting for yesterday’s poem that let your Grace Bloom Flowers upon my barren soul.
He gave me the date, he shall intervene,
& it’s tomorrow- 14th June.
Yet today’s longing & tears while painting the vision, made me feel, if he doesn’t come…
Then it’s all over for me, in all aspects of my life.
When he & lord Ganesha have made this heart their home, then Swami you need to come physically now….
Or i & this work shall be buried in A Pain,
Where death alone shall be a much needed respite for my soul!
Because there’s Nothing more left to offer,
than to know he’s accepted my heart & this offering of love- Heart Of God!!!
6.21pm
With this above message Swami showed this is exactly how he held my hand in his, with the mornings vision & that he knows my inner calling.
I asked him in the morning, it’s humbling to know you can’t do it on your own, So Save me Baba, & this is his reply to my prayer.
Thank You! Thank you! Thank you!!!
I await thou!!!
9.27pm
14th June 2026
Since he said he shall intervene on the 14th, so this picture of both hands blessings is most welcomed
Now this Silence heavy-laden by pains of life for so very long…
Must only be broken; By the Coming of my Beloved Lord!…
Otherwise let it be shunned into A Sleep that awakens not!
12.52pm
Nothing goes past him, as yesterday I couldn’t eat lunch… as I wanted to Finish Ganesha painting,
So I pushed it to 3-3.15pm, so that his Promise for today is met. That he shall intervene. But as by late evening that painting got done & by night I started the painting for Bloom flowers upon my barren soul.
It felt so hopeless within…
That I just couldn’t get myself to eat dinner….feeling if he doesn’t come & intervene then what’s the point to anything.
So this message above is in that context.
When you’re Touched by Gods Love: The Heart opens & Blooms in a way that Nothing withholds it. And selflessness its fragrance makes one sweeter - Naturally.
Hence I ask thou- to open hearts.
To open eyes to thy way of seeing. For the givers of this earth gave of this heart & they ask thou to touch & transform those who’ve digressed from this path- Don’t let go of them. Hold them dearly!
Let Gods Love save them from untruth by choosing Gods love that gives from oneness & not calculating all that they receive!
Don’t let go Sai, Don’t let go, Save them from minds who have forgotten their selves by justifying acts that makes one overrule that lil voice within.
Don’t let go off them- Hold them dearly.
And fulfil thy promises given to the ones,
who by the righteousness of their hearts-
Choose to live!
Intervene now! Intervene my Beloved Sai!
2.45am
When something in life gets Very pressing, inspite of following the heart & abiding to the conscience within….
I prayed & gave that problem to him…
& then Today morning, he came to me saying-
My Child I’m sorry I couldn’t change their minds,
they don’t listen to me….
I kept Quiet & Silence is A Way to Understanding & Realsise, that God too is only acting,
Until I’ve given him truly….
He acts, so as to show what’s holding me back,
Into this space of oneness with him-
For there’s Truly Nothing impossible for him.
So why does he say- I can’t change minds,
When all Ive asked is transform & Open their hearts. I prayed for a souls limited way of seeing
& today he came to show- I too want you to realise this very teaching-
that Now that you’ve given the problem to me,
Then it’s no longer them, But between you & me.
& it dawned, whatsoever one did or didn’t do,
it mattered not- Because the problem is now between me & him. All are just actors playing their part- same as me.
But in the very act of giving it to him, The world ceased to exist! And now everything in my life is between me & him.
I prayed that today partake of this sweetness of my heart- this work of love that was made from Gods very own soul. And partake he must,
by clearing the path. Because he promised me An Healing & to relent & pray, until he has healed not. That this work shall be shared, Only when he has healed all that’s broken & made Whole.
For…
I’ve baked this bread out of my tears & blood,
I’ve poured into it waters of devotion and trust, Now that it’s between you & me, Will you come…
O Beloved, to Bless this heart, this bread
& Bring A Joy untold of.
If this bread that has been baked with love-
Thou shalt consume it & if it’s baked with no heart then thou shall reject it all
& None shall consume too….
So you have to intervene today….
Or this work is not fit to be offered at all.
To that he says- I’ve kneaded it too along with your tears with my own very loving hands-
at times there was a gentle pat & at times my fingers were strongly embedded into its bed.
I kneaded for long, for it shall be partaken by all. So that it may Rise & satiate the hunger of minds-lost.
And then I lay it to rest,
Only to put it in the fires of life, and let its soul be burnt from all attachments so that it shall not be born again.
I kept checking not to burn it though, Only so the the flour is baked and made sweet by my love.
Beloved when you gave it to me, all that,
That pains & worries thee, I burnt that all in the fires of my love- Not to consume you of sadness, but to make you free.
I have been working, I have my eyes one pointedly peeled on thee. But when I said today morning- Even i can’t do it….
Then you must know that’s the time I shall even outstretch my hands to flip the bread in the fires of life, & take upon me this heat.
I shall burn my hands even to make you realise-
I never left thee.
For I never leave Nor abandon anyone,
For I’ve come only to save all, So that they may Grow in Heart & Spirit!
& now that you’ve realised-
“it’s only between me & him”,
The bread is fit to be eaten & consumed of.
“The Perfect timing”, is Nothing but knowing he doesn’t leave you ever, he may throw the bread in fire and flip it only to bake it right, for half-baked bread cannot satiate the hunger of anyone,
Not even me, my child!
But when it gets all too much, this baker doesn’t wait, to reach-out to grab the bakers peel,
instead he puts his very own hands into the ovens of life to save the bread & take the fires upon him.
I’m that baker of life & I have come to make you Whole so that at the table, When the bread is served, it’s warm & soft, sweet & moist from all the tears of life.
Now you know, How I love you, My Child!
I have accepted thy offerings, because now you know it was Always between, you & me!
The Perfect Timing is only knowing this, that he kept you safe.
Thank you for walking beside & learning the ways of Gods heart- for God came down,
Only to Give & Save, & not to leave even a single soul dying in these fires of pain,
& God Alone shall put his hands in the fires
& get burnt, So as to save the Faith of His child,
Who waited & Hoped against Hope,
By turning Everything to God!
10.02am
“Now the bread is baked”
Baba,
Thank you, for everything.
This work- this bread shall be shared,
upon the fulfilment of An Healing you Promised all along & my longing that you come home.
11.11am
I’m here, Waiting…..
& Thank you for the pains you’ve taken to knead the bread & the fires that burnt your very hands
in order to safeguard my Faith!
12.24pm
if the Fruit of this Heart is Ripe….Then he shall partake of it, But to partake, He Must Come,
if Not Now, then Beloved……
My Offering has Failed, But Not thy Love!
12.53pm
& Once again he Promises he shall come!!!
Just now the painting for these words got finished- if at all I should go on in this life,
then bloom flowers of your mercy & love upon my barren soul & offered.
Now there’s Nothing much left to offer
My Beloved!
You said you’ll come today, I’m waiting Mother!
I’m waiting here.
With Bated Breath, With tears kept, With songs of love that my heart wishes to sing upon thy arrival, With A Heart of A Child, that held on to you as it’s Everything! O Beloved Heart of Mine,
Bless our lives & Home with thy coming.
O Graceful One, Keep thy Promises of Healing &
O Merciful one, Never let go off us.
Keep us within thy fold, For if we are abandoned by you O Sai; Then there’s No place here on earth that can be our home. O Blessed Lord- Come partake the Fruit of this work,
& Bless it with thy very own hands, so that thy Heart Alone Beats in All!!!
Thank you!!!
Samastha Lokah Sukhino Bhanvantu!!!
6.21pm
15th June 2026
Yesterday I went through deepest of pains, that Why Swami didn’t come. It was like a storm was churning from my navel up to my chest & it felt unbearable to go on. At last I held on to Shirdi babas feet in my heart & kept praying- Pls Come, Pls Come, Pls Come!
Swami today I Stand in the Truth of my Belief! That Nothing is impossible for thee.
Your Delays Are Not Your Denials!
Please come & heal all that’s broken,
Bless to share this work, and give both Atul & i,
A New Beginning.
You Blessed me saying Sumangali. Now let all Auspiciousness begin with that, because I was seen lesser due to this pain by many.
Yet Atul stood by so long, but i can see him feeling helpless
Please don’t let us fall.
Please let thy Blessings come and wash away all the pain now.
10.42am
Your Delays are not your denials!
Please Come now my beloved!
Above link to post
Above link to post- the only question left is
Why? Why? Why? Why haven’t you come.
As soon as I finished this painting, the above message was given, where the song means- When something goes wrong in my life, You be with me.
Burdened by the pains of life,
the tears too are heavy to carry on this way,
My Sai.
I shall fall….I shall fall…Save me my beloved lord!
Either Come today Or let me die!!!
7.02pm
just finished this offering, it’s more of an emotional note to Bhagwan, that he was suppose to intervene yesterday, yet it’s already evening and he’s still not come. & if he chooses not to come, then better he ends my life.
Baba if you can’t even keep your word- When you said the bread is baked, when you can’t come to bless this heart, then who’s gonna Believe!!! When it is God himself, Who’s written you off & does not even Accept your heart, then it’s All Finished!!!
16th June 2026
Above link to post- the Divine Assurance that Baba is always with us
Yesterday when Swami didn’t come….
& I realised he won’t….
Something within pained so deeply….
that what was to follow later; tears & pain…
Shall Only stay between me & him.
Actually one’s entire life is “between me & him”. Because this work here is to share Joy & Heart.
Even when the pains of his longing are beyond words.
But im not here to share that pain. Nor do I wish to carry on filling in chapters of this wait.
I asked him through chits, do you wish me to share this work- “Now”. And he said- No.
So I shall let this be the chapter of Wait,
Followed by Silence; Until he chooses to come.
And if he chooses not to, then this work shall be buried within the Silence of my heart.
If that is what he’s willed….
& even though he disclosed to me about Cancer,
Yet for me this work was never about that.
For I’m not here to share my pain.
I’m here to share “The Heart”, that he calls,
As his own dwelling place.
My Pain is mine to bear & this Wait is for him
to keep it as my offering of Silent love,
Which by his coming alone shall be met.
Till then, this work for me- in here- ends!
11.30pm
Later Shirdi Baba gave A Vision,
(the details are personal, which he wouldn’t want me to share here)
For the pressing matter, that I had handed him over, In that context, he reached out with an answer- I stand by you!
None on this earth can acknowledge,
The Truth of One’s Heart the way he can.
And that’s exactly what he showed with this particular Vision.
1.08pm
I was quiet because, Only the one who knows your pain, can apply a balm to your soul in a way that upon his speaking all voices are shunned.
When God Acknowledges The Truth of one’s heart then…
No one can dare stand against you on that path.
Yet I prayed that you must come now Swami.
For what use this life of mine can ever be. All I can say is to my yesterday’s prayer- “He didn’t let me fall”
Later he send many messages of assurance & signs of his blessings.
Above link to post
Above link to post all I can say is- Baba did answer.
With tears & while singing this song-
‘tu kitni achi hain, tu kitni pyaare hain- o maa,
Sai maa’
With tears in my eyes- i told him- “In this birth, let me merge in your womb of love, don’t send me back again in another womb. Please let me merge in your womb of love!”
8.37pm
17th June 2026
Yes Baba didn’t make me beg, he silently tackled the situation, with yesterday’s Vision, at least to show he stands by me.
But whether it changes anything in my actual life or not, I don’t know, because he’s shown me the Vision & when he had asked me to share with the concerned person- I was questioned for my Faith.
When you live by your Hearts Truth;
Then you don’t need to Beg;
For That Truth Alone makes you Stand!
& that Truth is Nothing but God standing
beside you.
(Not beg to anyone even to understand)
12.48pm
Swami send me this video through my mom. And I felt it’s so beautiful the song about heart & serving him that I kept listening in the night. And felt I should share it here.
O Beloved thy sweet Vibhuti Fragrance has become my breath, The sweetness of which lies on my tongue & emanates from my every breath.
For all is burnt & now what remains is thy Sweet Love instead! What more can I ask of thee,
For my heart yearns & longs Only for thee.
Yearns that I merge into the Absolute such that there isn’t even any Vibhuti.
11.11pm
Swami you addressed me with a certain- Grace, Kindness, Love & Respect, through this work…
Now let that Vision of thy love- become my reality. 2.52pm
In the Gratitude of my Heart, let thy Divine feet enter this home of yours now!!! And let my life be an expression of this Gratitude- that My Sai Saved me, & didn’t let me fall!!!
3.15pm
He lifted me in Love; On wings of Healing Greens, He Blessed my soul;
By Showing (yesterday)- the way He Intervened!
O Father of my heart,
Who came to Acknowledge this Truth!
Come Now, lay your feet here….
For it’s been long…
Receive these hues of My Gratitude!!!
4.50pm
Now you have to come, Now you have to come,
& receive me this way….Now you have to come, Now you have to come…& take away all of my pains.
This painting just got finished, made of Gratitude for his love to lift me & carry me through this pain
Beloved Swami, Meet me with your heart Now!!! 5.52pm
Now, Meet me with your heart….
For this body is as it is dying my lord!
Cancer is just a reason.
But I shall either die- Experiencing your Heart-
that it answered my call,
Or die as mind & bodies do die-
lovelessly, from not experiencing God!
Death is Certain, Your Uncertainty too is Certain. But my Longing too is.
I’ve Offered you Truth- I’m Asking for Truth,
I’ve Offered you Heart- I’m Asking for your Heart!!!
For now on, Either Truth shall win- Or lies shall crush me…Either His Heart shall meet Or Minds shall crush me.
This work is Heart of God & without His Hearts Acknowledgement there’s Nothing!
6.36pm
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