Heart of God (continue part 8)
- 7 hours ago
- 14 min read
9th April 2026
Even through my challenging times the prayer this soul emanates is of innate strength-
Took me 2days to finish this work to share here
O Beloved take all my pieces,
The ones that were neglected, forsaken, used,
met with unkindness, anger, hatred & manipulation…
Even the ones Vulnerable & got entwined by minds who truly didn’t care.
Because I am- Never is Pieces…
But inspite of all bitter lessons,
let this heart & its kindness not be bargained.
Let me Not Forget I’m not the pains some minds breathe & give…
For those who were once abused, at times-
Knowingly Or Unknowingly take on the personality of their abuser’s & by doing so
Further loose themselves.
Because they couldn’t process the pain & unkindness they were met with…
But Gods love weeps through the eyes of the one, who underwent those fires of pain without bargaining their Soul!
O Beloved let this Love of yours grow so deep within my heart- That I forget everything!
So take away these lil-lil parts that shaped my experiences, Let the Lessons Be sweetened by Forgiveness for all. For someone has to break this Chain-reaction, of passing on hurt-
But Only & Only with The Truth of Never Bargaining it’s Soul!
These days, Closing into Coco’s passing date, Only leaves me with this inner feeling that I wish to live my remaining life from
A Place of “No-Minds Purity”, As Coco lived!
So take away everything until- I’m left with A Heart that God, that Coco Breathes!
& when this body drops- the mind too no longer holds any shape;
& Purity within, Melts into Purity of love withholding Nothing!
12.31pm
Gods work is done in Silence-
If you can hold this place of Silence
& Be in the Presence within,
then he’s bound to Transform your life into
“A Miraculous Gift for humanity!”
But Only when one is ready to Give oneself entirely to him!
12.39pm
i Guess it’s only when we loose Faith; irrespective of all the atrocities that human kind do upon one another- It’s Only When we loose Faith that there is A Higher Force of Kindness & Love Governing this Universe- Then we Truly Fail in our selves!
PS: came upon how a small puppy was flung from an 4th floor apartment by a bunch of kids for no reason as they were using the puppy as a ball to play catch-catch. There has to be something broken within to do such an act. Yes the puppy has suffered immeasurably, crying in pain day & night, loosing an eye, fractured in spine….
But i know the Resilience & Kindness of God that most dogs carry inspite of what they are met with
i know a day shall come when he shall be placed in better family. For Swami has to take responsibility for every act of Adharma- if Not him- who shall & that pup will grow into an empathetic dog, towards others pain. For the trauma he endured.
At times i wonder how many animals or innocent lives will be put into this grind. That why doesn’t Swami in them Stop such acts. I guess we get so accustomed to listening to our minds & Minds of others who live with such cowardice that we bargain this Purity of Gods quiet voice within- because Swami says even a young child’s Conscience corrects him before doing an act that goes against this inner voice. Yet our Minds brings the Worst in us!
I firmly Believe the very second an innocent soul is put on the line for someone’s fear, power, anger or inability to reason out- That very second that soul becomes solely God Responsibility! Because who else can carry such pains of his children’s,
But Him!!!
If someone can’t even bear to read Or lend a voice to the Voiceless- Imagine what that soul in pain has gone through. Because it’s Swami in him that’s bearing!!! And Swami doesn’t turn a blind eye towards the pain of those innocent!
2.33pm
Above link to post
Om Shree Sai Ram
In tremendous pain,
My Heart is calling you- My heart is calling you, Don’t negate this heart anymore.
3.05pm
God Never left you…God Never left you…Even for a second, He’s Not left you; All This Search outside, Is Only in the sweet tears of Experiencing this within. All this wishing to feel Acknowledged & Loved outside can Never be satiated by someone- Unless this Love Springs from within thee!!!
All this loosing of One’s self by impersonating other peoples thoughts & perception; by absorbing their anger & judgements- Rather than detaching in Observing that their Minds work in a certain way- due to some collected pain,
that When dropped-
Shall eventually set them Free & To Know they are Always Eternally Loved by Him!!!
Until One doesn’t come to this place in the heart- One Remains A Victim of Ego & Collects ways to live- how their parents lived Or Siblings Or how someone who pained them behaved-
Rather than Be! And Breathe from this Space that God Never left you even for a second & traverse through life in it’s Knowing!
All Pain Dwindes & An Acceptance Dawns that Forgives even the greatest of acts of Sin- Because Love Reveals you to see the soul separate from the act- where they had temporarily lost themselves in their nature of collected pains that’s been passed on from generation to generation & hence behave in a way inhumane.
And the second the person sees these acts separate there in surges Gods Repentace- But this Repentance is not born from Guilt Or Shame upon doing an act that was Unjustly.
Nay, it’s A a repentance born out of Oneness that in forgetfulness of my Self- i Bargained my heart for A Mind thats based its identity in ignorance that God is Separate from me!!!
Until this love within isn’t Experienced- Nothing Outside can ever be enough for each!!!
God Never left you even for a split second & that’s the Only Truth worth Experiencing!!!
4.22pm
10th April 2026
Swami you use to tell me naa-
“Not just head- Even Ones heart should bend!”,
well mann bhi jhu gaya abhi maa…
& Grateful for even that!!!
3.59pm
Today will start the painting for Coco,
As some finishing touches to your portrait got completed today, so I’ll share that work with yesterdays post
I Believe this picture here, was Babas way of giving message regarding the indie stray puppy I shared about yesterday, who was met with a cruel behaviour, at the hands of some children’s.
Since he’s black in colour, the rescuers named him Kanhaiya, meaning Krishna.
Shirdi baba would often correct people not to pain animals, as giving pain to them, is giving pain to God.
Above link to post a beautiful song- that stand by me when everything falls apart, because there’s no one & there shall be none other than you!
11th April 2026
Swami I had asked you, Bring me to A Place where Coco is & since the 9th, this Churning began.
& I’m Grateful for even the process of this mind to latch on to something painful in memories, as I asked you to take away the painful pieces…
That are No Longer of any service to me.
And right now…in this moment,
Something within me shifted…
These last two days, physically & mind being caught up in certain painful events, made me realise this pain we inflict upon ourselves by replaying certain events as a victim,
That truly does not serve one.
Yet the pain of those events, brought forth a Humility that made me say;
“Now even my Heart bows- that mann bhi jhuk Gaya.”
But right now this Shift came. That is akin to taking the first breath of freshness after hours of feeling suffocated due to nerve trigger pain upon my scalp-physically Or locked in past mentally
This deep Shift;
Whatever happened to me- Actually happened to you!!! Whatever was done to me- Was Truly done to you!!! Whatever pain I underwent is yours to deal with.
& it’s not my place to carry bricks & weight of others minds & in that loose the Purity of A Mind that A Child’s Essence innately breathes!
This is not how my mind works- for my mind essence is actually Gods Mind!
That effortlessly Children’s live by!
So why am I torturing myself living upon thoughts or acts that aren’t mine to deal with.
And whatever seemed to have happened in my life- Truly didn’t happen to me!
Because it was your Pain to bear Swami! I don’t wish to carry these heavy bricks until my dying breath-
Nay I Forgive! I Forgive this play of Forgetting Ones Self & in the mode of survival & picking upon tendencies of personalities from ones parent, sibling, Freind, colleague, we loose that Purity within
I go back to this Mind Of A Child that makes one meet life with Joy & Fullness! I don’t know what made them hurl stones upon me, What was so broken in one that justifies hurting others.
Or why was I too justifying holding this pain upon righteousness, When Forgiveness breathes A Breath of Fresh Air! And helps me realise this pain was always yours to Finish!
I’ve Never asked for pain for others in the heart of my hearts,
But I don’t wish to carry their pain either because the bargain of carrying such minds, Only comes at a cost of loosing myself- Self- that is you
& Nothing Or No one Or No pain in ones life is
Ever worthwhile holding onto, By Loosing you! Because when I loose you then I’ve Lost Everything!!!
You showed me being like Coco brought me to this place of Calm that “I’ve Not lost anything”-
be it health even if it’s Cancer, I’ve not lost anything, be it time, be it that I’ve not yet been able to exhibit, nor earn my living.
But I know It’s all there….
But if I’ll Loose myself…
then I know very soon I’ll be walking down the path where these minds have walked.
And that direction Only leads one to Fear, Complain, Comparison, Anger, Hatred, Jealousy, Self-pity & A State of Being Perpetual Victim- When my heart Assures me- in Faith Nothing is ever Lost! Not even time.
Because this Sai Stands Besides! And he can move earth to Sky & All Pain into A Blessings!
So in that moment of Realisation, it dawned on me Nothing truly happened to me-
When I live from this place of A Heart- Of A Mind of A Child & like Coco did, where Gods Whisperings Never Fail to make One Reaslise- This play was Only to bring one closer to this Truth within-
“That I was Never separate from Him”
This Faith Alone gives one that indomitable strength & courage to face life. To lean on A Mind that’s Purer & Heart that is made aware of his Dwelling place that He was Never Separate from me
And it is this Faith that Brings Miracles & Blessings. Thank you that you made me turn to you for all my problems & not lean on external minds who may or may not be equipped to help me Or further, leave their shadows of judgements, anger, control, because they live from a place of Victimhood, Which is like a quick sand,
That Only pulls down & suck others, along with them
The Problem is we have too much Faith in what others think- Because they may “seemingly be successful” in worldly lives- While their minds are yet tainted by their own experiences of pain & hurt.
A Victim doesn’t lead- it only brings your downfall, Which it silently lives by.
Because until the Mind ain’t Pure- Unsullied-God, whatever guidance it relys upon is limited.
While Gods Mind Is Exapnsive Free- Forgiving, Child-like enjoying this life. And that the place you’ve brought me to,
Two days back on 9th, I asked this prayer…
O Beloved take all my pieces,
The ones that were neglected, forsaken, used,
met with unkindness, anger, hatred & manipulation…
Even the ones Vulnerable & got entwined by minds who truly didn’t care.
Because I am- Never is Pieces…
But inspite of all bitter lessons,
let this heart & its kindness not be bargained.
Let me Not Forget I’m not the pains some minds breathe & give…
& he made me feel that pain intensely, that I was unknowingly crying after a long time, Since Coco passed on.
But Swami opened this wound, So that there’s A Healing & Completion to those experiences in Knowing it didn’t happen to me.
For in my Heart & Mind I’m Free!!! Always have been! And I don’t have to wait until my dying breath to have this innate love of Forgiveness.
For an individual carrying hurt can Never Forgive, Not even after cycles of birth & death,
Until that identity of a victim dissolves into the Essence of God- that Forgives!
So Thank you & Immense Gratitude to you Beloved Sai!
And for this experience to happen a before 12th, Coco’s passing 4yrs back, you brought me to this place within- That’s Pure As You & Coco! For that is what True Love is- to Be like Love & Kindness, with which Coco’s heart breathed
Gratitude from the deepest part of my heart!
For saving me within first, for Cancer may eat only the body, Or lead to death of this mortal form,
But Sai leads you to Freedom & Fearlessness with which Gods Love Expands!
Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!
There is truly No Separation!
This painting which I started yesterday in honour for Coco’s life- is already Complete within my soul by you, & Only needs to be painted outwardly in that expression.
11.25am
And Thank you for bringing Mooji Baba to me too- his words are Your Essence & Guidance of how Higher Self leads One- to this Space of Freedom! That is Already Given by Gods to each soul as ones Birthright within!
That’s how expansive Gods love is!
12th April 2026
Though I finished painting today afternoon, but had written my heart felt words early morning as I couldn’t sleep…due to immense pain
With An Angel by my side; Who gave away His Wings to me…So that i may not loose heart; Living through pains, that made it even difficult to Breathe!
1.38am
Today, 4yrs back Coco left his physical body,
But for Atul & I, he Never truly left. I believe his Love kept growing within my heart; as these two wings of Love & Kindness, to help pave ways through many a dark nights of this pain.
My physical downfall that he dealt with being a therapy dog- Showed me A Love of God!
Whilst the failings of my health seem far greater since he left, But His Love as Joy, from within my heart swells.
I had painted this work earlier on a canvas, which for some reason I re-painted something over it…
& Coco back then, would keep staring at that canvas that was repainted- Wondering where did that work of him & me go….
So I painted this in his memory, this picture of a love that speaks volumes to the heart with which Coco lived by! As his Kindness has now melted into my being. Where Not a day goes without saying Thank You Coco, For all that he did!
i once again was awake till 4am, moaning in pain & these above messages given to help me go through…then got up by 8am as i was very unwell & felt it’s too much to go on like this…
Later
Vision- i see Swami in his young form, with that yellowish orange gown happy & playing with a dog. Who he’s addressing as Our Coco, Our Coco! The dog is a Golden Retriever, and Swami shows me his face- his eyes are like Coco.
He’s young- maybe around 2-2.5 yr of age.
Not a puppy. And swami is happily playing around with him, calling him- “Our Coco”, while Coco is running around Swami.
Vision ends
8.50am
I’m just quiet, holding on to my heart- under the blanket- of letting this joy that Swami gave- through this Vision sink in my heart & soul…
not wishing to even let it out by writing in words.
Above link to post
Swamis video unveiling the bronze statue of his, which now stands where Shirdi babas silver Shesha Sai statue was, & to get this video now, after the auspicious vision that Swami gave of Coco’s coming back….as Swami has made this statue painted as a part of this ongoing work.
Above link to post
Yes he is Omniscient, Beyond time, of all lives past, present, future, with what he showed about Coco.
Because for Swami to show me the Vision today- that Cocos soul is born already, as A Golden Retriever, and that he will come home along with Swami is something so touching, that too on this day today. I know he’s gonna heal me….before he brings Coco.
I know why Coco chose to come in a Golden Retriever body- because Golden retrievers are lighter in body as compared to a Labrador.
As for some reason I could Never lift or carry Coco, For as a puppy’s he was the chubbiest healthy soul.
& later too given my health condition it wasn’t possible. But Atul could always lift & carry him-
It’s Only in his last month when Coco was limping, & Atul too had frozen shoulder, that he couldn’t lift Coco single-handedly
I had read when your pet comes again in your life- he will choose to come in a form that will be easy for you, for Dogs go out of their way, to see they can give you happiness.
A lady who knew Coco in my society & upon his passing had metioned Coco will come back in our lives again, to which I said- I can’t ask that of him, as he has selflessly stood by me for all those years of his life.
But she kept insisting when I met her in the park, a day later to Cocos passing & she even got me in touch of an animal communicator,
This painting here I had painted back in the year 2023, after the animal communicator, who spoke with Coco had mentioned that he was to come into our lives, in the month of September Or October 2023.
And I had painted this work on the 9th of September 2023, asking Swami that if at all Coco comes it should be only because of Your will Swami & Cocos wish, because he had very clearly stated to me that don’t be selfish when coco was unwell in his last days.
So I painted the work that both Shirdi Baba & Satya Sai Baba have to come to our home, with Coco in Swamis hand & both Atul & I are kneeling in Gratitude for Baba came to usher in A New Beginning in our lives with not just physical healing for both of us, but even bringing Coco & fully entering our lives henceforth.
The animal communicator kept saying that Coco will come as a puppy to which from within Swami said- No, not as a puppy…the reason being
my dad who had passed on 3yrs prior to Coco,
had shown there was a 2yr old dog in the dream with him, towards whom I walk & ask, how come you’re here all by yourself. And he was a golden retriever. Whilst my dad is seated on a bench with my mom speaking to her something.
When a soul crosses, the time as we see is not linear, So even though Coco was physically there with me, When my dad passed on, through that dream he showed me that Coco was to come back again.
It’s only upon Cocos passing I truly understood the message he tried to give me through that dream…
& Swami in today’s vision too confirmed
Why this timing of not sending Coco earlier into our lives, as the Omniscient Swami knew it all along about the Cancer Im going through,
& given Atuls work, which is largely travel based, would be difficult to mange.
11.31am
Now just see how this Swami works….
Just yesterday evening, whilst I was sinking in tremendous pain, unable to go for my evening walk…I told him, Swami whenever you wish for me to share this work, I’ll share, But please do not ask me to speak or give interviews.
I will share it this way through art & writing,
but I’m not that good when it comes to speaking…
Because this pain has made me very quiet & many a times I feel, I don’t know what to speak due to years of such pain & silence.
But just now as I was listening to this Talk of Ms Geeta Mohan, that my sister had shared with me today morning,
Even she was voicing a similar feeling to Bhagwan that she won’t be able to go and talk.
Above link to both the talks
Swami said- “Why do you think I gave you all these experiences..”, it’s your debt to share this Gratitude.
So once again he’s reached out, with not just this beautiful talk, But even this message, that I can’t entertain any such thoughts that I won’t be able to speak Swami.
And even to explain this shloka- Mukam Karoti Vachalam that Swami reminded Ms Geeta Mohan,
मूकं करोति वाचालं पङ्गुं लङ्घयते गिरिं ।
यत्कृपा तमहं वन्दे परमानन्द माधवम् ॥
Muukam Karoti Vaacaalam Panggum Langghayate Girim |
Yat-Krpaa Tamaham Vande Param-Aananda Maadhavam ||
Meaning:
1: (I Remember with Devotion the Divine Grace of Krishna Who can make the) Dumb speak with Eloquence and the Lame cross high Mountains,
2: I Remember and Extol that Grace which flows from the Supreme Bliss manifestation of Madhava.
11.52pm
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