Heart of God (continue part 8)
- Apr 12
- 51 min read
Updated: 6 days ago
9th April 2026
Even through my challenging times the prayer this soul emanates is of innate strength-
Took me 2days to finish this work to share here
O Beloved take all my pieces,
The ones that were neglected, forsaken, used,
met with unkindness, anger, hatred & manipulation…
Even the ones Vulnerable & got entwined by minds who truly didn’t care.
Because I am- Never is Pieces…
But inspite of all bitter lessons,
let this heart & its kindness not be bargained.
Let me Not Forget I’m not the pains some minds breathe & give…
For those who were once abused, at times-
Knowingly Or Unknowingly take on the personality of their abuser’s & by doing so
Further loose themselves.
Because they couldn’t process the pain & unkindness they were met with…
But Gods love weeps through the eyes of the one, who underwent those fires of pain without bargaining their Soul!
O Beloved let this Love of yours grow so deep within my heart- That I forget everything!
So take away these lil-lil parts that shaped my experiences, Let the Lessons Be sweetened by Forgiveness for all. For someone has to break this Chain-reaction, of passing on hurt-
But Only & Only with The Truth of Never Bargaining it’s Soul!
These days, Closing into Coco’s passing date, Only leaves me with this inner feeling that I wish to live my remaining life from
A Place of “No-Minds Purity”, As Coco lived!
So take away everything until- I’m left with A Heart that God, that Coco Breathes!
& when this body drops- the mind too no longer holds any shape;
& Purity within, Melts into Purity of love withholding Nothing!
12.31pm
Gods work is done in Silence-
If you can hold this place of Silence
& Be in the Presence within,
then he’s bound to Transform your life into
“A Miraculous Gift for humanity!”
But Only when one is ready to Give oneself entirely to him!
12.39pm
i Guess it’s only when we loose Faith; irrespective of all the atrocities that human kind do upon one another- It’s Only When we loose Faith that there is A Higher Force of Kindness & Love Governing this Universe- Then we Truly Fail in our selves!
PS: came upon how a small puppy was flung from an 4th floor apartment by a bunch of kids for no reason as they were using the puppy as a ball to play catch-catch. There has to be something broken within to do such an act. Yes the puppy has suffered immeasurably, crying in pain day & night, loosing an eye, fractured in spine….
But i know the Resilience & Kindness of God that most dogs carry inspite of what they are met with
i know a day shall come when he shall be placed in better family. For Swami has to take responsibility for every act of Adharma- if Not him- who shall & that pup will grow into an empathetic dog, towards others pain. For the trauma he endured.
At times i wonder how many animals or innocent lives will be put into this grind. That why doesn’t Swami in them Stop such acts. I guess we get so accustomed to listening to our minds & Minds of others who live with such cowardice that we bargain this Purity of Gods quiet voice within- because Swami says even a young child’s Conscience corrects him before doing an act that goes against this inner voice. Yet our Minds brings the Worst in us!
I firmly Believe the very second an innocent soul is put on the line for someone’s fear, power, anger or inability to reason out- That very second that soul becomes solely God Responsibility! Because who else can carry such pains of his children’s,
But Him!!!
If someone can’t even bear to read Or lend a voice to the Voiceless- Imagine what that soul in pain has gone through. Because it’s Swami in him that’s bearing!!! And Swami doesn’t turn a blind eye towards the pain of those innocent!
2.33pm
Above link to post
Om Shree Sai Ram
In tremendous pain,
My Heart is calling you- My heart is calling you, Don’t negate this heart anymore.
3.05pm
God Never left you…God Never left you…Even for a second, He’s Not left you; All This Search outside, Is Only in the sweet tears of Experiencing this within. All this wishing to feel Acknowledged & Loved outside can Never be satiated by someone- Unless this Love Springs from within thee!!!
All this loosing of One’s self by impersonating other peoples thoughts & perception; by absorbing their anger & judgements- Rather than detaching in Observing that their Minds work in a certain way- due to some collected pain,
that When dropped-
Shall eventually set them Free & To Know they are Always Eternally Loved by Him!!!
Until One doesn’t come to this place in the heart- One Remains A Victim of Ego & Collects ways to live- how their parents lived Or Siblings Or how someone who pained them behaved-
Rather than Be! And Breathe from this Space that God Never left you even for a second & traverse through life in it’s Knowing!
All Pain Dwindes & An Acceptance Dawns that Forgives even the greatest of acts of Sin- Because Love Reveals you to see the soul separate from the act- where they had temporarily lost themselves in their nature of collected pains that’s been passed on from generation to generation & hence behave in a way inhumane.
And the second the person sees these acts separate there in surges Gods Repentace- But this Repentance is not born from Guilt Or Shame upon doing an act that was Unjustly.
Nay, it’s A a repentance born out of Oneness that in forgetfulness of my Self- i Bargained my heart for A Mind thats based its identity in ignorance that God is Separate from me!!!
Until this love within isn’t Experienced- Nothing Outside can ever be enough for each!!!
God Never left you even for a split second & that’s the Only Truth worth Experiencing!!!
4.22pm
10th April 2026
Swami you use to tell me naa-
“Not just head- Even Ones heart should bend!”,
well mann bhi jhu gaya abhi maa…
& Grateful for even that!!!
3.59pm
Today will start the painting for Coco,
As some finishing touches to your portrait got completed today, so I’ll share that work with yesterdays post
I Believe this picture here, was Babas way of giving message regarding the indie stray puppy I shared about yesterday, who was met with a cruel behaviour, at the hands of some children’s.
Since he’s black in colour, the rescuers named him Kanhaiya, meaning Krishna.
Shirdi baba would often correct people not to pain animals, as giving pain to them, is giving pain to God.
Above link to post a beautiful song- that stand by me when everything falls apart, because there’s no one & there shall be none other than you!
11th April 2026
Swami I had asked you, Bring me to A Place where Coco is & since the 9th, this Churning began.
& I’m Grateful for even the process of this mind to latch on to something painful in memories, as I asked you to take away the painful pieces…
That are No Longer of any service to me.
And right now…in this moment,
Something within me shifted…
These last two days, physically & mind being caught up in certain painful events, made me realise this pain we inflict upon ourselves by replaying certain events as a victim,
That truly does not serve one.
Yet the pain of those events, brought forth a Humility that made me say;
“Now even my Heart bows- that mann bhi jhuk Gaya.”
But right now this Shift came. That is akin to taking the first breath of freshness after hours of feeling suffocated due to nerve trigger pain upon my scalp-physically Or locked in past mentally
This deep Shift;
Whatever happened to me- Actually happened to you!!! Whatever was done to me- Was Truly done to you!!! Whatever pain I underwent is yours to deal with.
& it’s not my place to carry bricks & weight of others minds & in that loose the Purity of A Mind that A Child’s Essence innately breathes!
This is not how my mind works- for my mind essence is actually Gods Mind!
That effortlessly Children’s live by!
So why am I torturing myself living upon thoughts or acts that aren’t mine to deal with.
And whatever seemed to have happened in my life- Truly didn’t happen to me!
Because it was your Pain to bear Swami! I don’t wish to carry these heavy bricks until my dying breath-
Nay I Forgive! I Forgive this play of Forgetting Ones Self & in the mode of survival & picking upon tendencies of personalities from ones parent, sibling, Freind, colleague, we loose that Purity within
I go back to this Mind Of A Child that makes one meet life with Joy & Fullness! I don’t know what made them hurl stones upon me, What was so broken in one that justifies hurting others.
Or why was I too justifying holding this pain upon righteousness, When Forgiveness breathes A Breath of Fresh Air! And helps me realise this pain was always yours to Finish!
I’ve Never asked for pain for others in the heart of my hearts,
But I don’t wish to carry their pain either because the bargain of carrying such minds, Only comes at a cost of loosing myself- Self- that is you
& Nothing Or No one Or No pain in ones life is
Ever worthwhile holding onto, By Loosing you! Because when I loose you then I’ve Lost Everything!!!
You showed me being like Coco brought me to this place of Calm that “I’ve Not lost anything”-
be it health even if it’s Cancer, I’ve not lost anything, be it time, be it that I’ve not yet been able to exhibit, nor earn my living.
But I know It’s all there….
But if I’ll Loose myself…
then I know very soon I’ll be walking down the path where these minds have walked.
And that direction Only leads one to Fear, Complain, Comparison, Anger, Hatred, Jealousy, Self-pity & A State of Being Perpetual Victim- When my heart Assures me- in Faith Nothing is ever Lost! Not even time.
Because this Sai Stands Besides! And he can move earth to Sky & All Pain into A Blessings!
So in that moment of Realisation, it dawned on me Nothing truly happened to me-
When I live from this place of A Heart- Of A Mind of A Child & like Coco did, where Gods Whisperings Never Fail to make One Reaslise- This play was Only to bring one closer to this Truth within-
“That I was Never separate from Him”
This Faith Alone gives one that indomitable strength & courage to face life. To lean on A Mind that’s Purer & Heart that is made aware of his Dwelling place that He was Never Separate from me
And it is this Faith that Brings Miracles & Blessings. Thank you that you made me turn to you for all my problems & not lean on external minds who may or may not be equipped to help me Or further, leave their shadows of judgements, anger, control, because they live from a place of Victimhood, Which is like a quick sand,
That Only pulls down & suck others, along with them
The Problem is we have too much Faith in what others think- Because they may “seemingly be successful” in worldly lives- While their minds are yet tainted by their own experiences of pain & hurt.
A Victim doesn’t lead- it only brings your downfall, Which it silently lives by.
Because until the Mind ain’t Pure- Unsullied-God, whatever guidance it relys upon is limited.
While Gods Mind Is Exapnsive Free- Forgiving, Child-like enjoying this life. And that the place you’ve brought me to,
Two days back on 9th, I asked this prayer…
O Beloved take all my pieces,
The ones that were neglected, forsaken, used,
met with unkindness, anger, hatred & manipulation…
Even the ones Vulnerable & got entwined by minds who truly didn’t care.
Because I am- Never is Pieces…
But inspite of all bitter lessons,
let this heart & its kindness not be bargained.
Let me Not Forget I’m not the pains some minds breathe & give…
& he made me feel that pain intensely, that I was unknowingly crying after a long time, Since Coco passed on.
But Swami opened this wound, So that there’s A Healing & Completion to those experiences in Knowing it didn’t happen to me.
For in my Heart & Mind I’m Free!!! Always have been! And I don’t have to wait until my dying breath to have this innate love of Forgiveness.
For an individual carrying hurt can Never Forgive, Not even after cycles of birth & death,
Until that identity of a victim dissolves into the Essence of God- that Forgives!
So Thank you & Immense Gratitude to you Beloved Sai!
And for this experience to happen a before 12th, Coco’s passing 4yrs back, you brought me to this place within- That’s Pure As You & Coco! For that is what True Love is- to Be like Love & Kindness, with which Coco’s heart breathed
Gratitude from the deepest part of my heart!
For saving me within first, for Cancer may eat only the body, Or lead to death of this mortal form,
But Sai leads you to Freedom & Fearlessness with which Gods Love Expands!
Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!
There is truly No Separation!
This painting which I started yesterday in honour for Coco’s life- is already Complete within my soul by you, & Only needs to be painted outwardly in that expression.
11.25am
And Thank you for bringing Mooji Baba to me too- his words are Your Essence & Guidance of how Higher Self leads One- to this Space of Freedom! That is Already Given by Gods to each soul as ones Birthright within!
That’s how expansive Gods love is!
12th April 2026
Though I finished painting today afternoon, but had written my heart felt words early morning as I couldn’t sleep…due to immense pain
With An Angel by my side; Who gave away His Wings to me…So that i may not loose heart; Living through pains, that made it even difficult to Breathe!
1.38am
Today, 4yrs back Coco left his physical body,
But for Atul & I, he Never truly left. I believe his Love kept growing within my heart; as these two wings of Love & Kindness, to help pave ways through many a dark nights of this pain.
My physical downfall that he dealt with being a therapy dog- Showed me A Love of God!
Whilst the failings of my health seem far greater since he left, But His Love as Joy, from within my heart swells.
I had painted this work earlier on a canvas, which for some reason I re-painted something over it…
& Coco back then, would keep staring at that canvas that was repainted- Wondering where did that work of him & me go….
So I painted this in his memory, this picture of a love that speaks volumes to the heart with which Coco lived by! As his Kindness has now melted into my being. Where Not a day goes without saying Thank You Coco, For all that he did!
i once again was awake till 4am, moaning in pain & these above messages given to help me go through…then got up by 8am as i was very unwell & felt it’s too much to go on like this…
Later
Vision- i see Swami in his young form, with that yellowish orange gown happy & playing with a dog. Who he’s addressing as Our Coco, Our Coco! The dog is a Golden Retriever, and Swami shows me his face- his eyes are like Coco.
He’s young- maybe around 2-2.5 yr of age.
Not a puppy. And swami is happily playing with him, calling him- “Our Coco”, while Coco is running around Swami.
Vision ends
8.50am
I’m just quiet, holding on to my heart- under the blanket- of letting this joy that Swami gave- through this Vision sink in my heart & soul…
not wishing to even let it out by writing in words.
Above link to post
Swamis video unveiling the bronze statue of his, which now stands where Shirdi babas silver Shesha Sai statue was, & to get this video now, after the auspicious vision that Swami gave of Coco’s coming back….as Swami has made this statue painted as a part of this ongoing work.
Above link to post
Yes he is Omniscient, Beyond time, of all lives past, present, future, with what he showed about Coco.
Because for Swami to show me the Vision today- that Cocos soul is born already, as A Golden Retriever, and that he will come home along with Swami is something so touching, that too on this day today. I know he’s gonna heal me….before he brings Coco.
I know why Coco chose to come in a Golden Retriever body- because Golden retrievers are lighter in body as compared to a Labrador.
As for some reason I could Never lift or carry Coco, For as a puppy, he was the chubbiest healthy soul.
& later too given my health condition it wasn’t possible. But Atul could always lift & carry him-
It’s Only in his last month when Coco was limping, & Atul too had frozen shoulder, that he couldn’t lift Coco single-handedly
I had read when your pet comes again in your life- he will choose to come in a form that will be easy for you, for Dogs go out of their way, to see they can give you happiness.
A lady who knew Coco in my society & upon his passing had metioned Coco will come back in our lives again, to which I said- I can’t ask that of him, as he has selflessly stood by me for all those years of his life.
But she kept insisting when I met her in the park, a day later to Cocos passing & she even got me in touch of an animal communicator,
This painting here I had painted back in the year 2023, after the animal communicator, who spoke with Coco had mentioned that he was to come into our lives, in the month of September Or October 2023.
And I had painted this work on the 9th of September 2023, asking Swami that if at all Coco comes it should be only because of Your will Swami & Cocos wish, because he had very clearly stated to me that don’t be selfish when coco was unwell in his last days.
So I painted the work that both Shirdi Baba & Satya Sai Baba have to come to our home, with Coco in Swamis hand & both Atul & I are kneeling in Gratitude for Baba came to usher in A New Beginning in our lives with not just physical healing for both of us, but even bringing Coco & fully entering our lives henceforth.
The animal communicator kept saying that Coco will come as a puppy to which from within Swami said- No, not as a puppy…the reason being
my dad who had passed on 3yrs prior to Coco,
had shown there was a 2yr old dog in the dream with him, towards whom I walk & ask, how come you’re here all by yourself. And he was a golden retriever. Whilst my dad is seated on a bench with my mom speaking to her something.
When a soul crosses, the time as we see is not linear, So even though Coco was physically there with me, When my dad passed on, through that dream he showed me that Coco was to come back again.
It’s only upon Cocos passing I truly understood the message he tried to give me through that dream…
& Swami in today’s vision too confirmed
Why this timing of not sending Coco earlier into our lives, as the Omniscient Swami knew it all along about the Cancer Im going through,
& given Atuls work, which is largely travel based, would be difficult to mange.
11.31am
Now just see how this Swami works….
Just yesterday evening, whilst I was sinking in tremendous pain, unable to go for my evening walk…I told him, Swami whenever you wish for me to share this work, I’ll share, But please do not ask me to speak or give interviews.
I will share it this way through art & writing,
but I’m not that good when it comes to speaking…
Because this pain has made me very quiet & many a times I feel, I don’t know what to speak due to years of such pain & silence.
But just now as I was listening to this Talk of Ms Geeta Mohan, that my sister had shared with me today morning,
Even she was voicing a similar feeling to Bhagwan that she won’t be able to go and talk.
Above link to both the talks
Swami said- “Why do you think I gave you all these experiences..”, it’s your debt to share this Gratitude.
So once again he’s reached out, with not just this beautiful talk, But even this message, that I can’t entertain any such thoughts that I won’t be able to speak Swami.
And even to explain this shloka- Mukam Karoti Vachalam that Swami reminded Ms Geeta Mohan,
मूकं करोति वाचालं पङ्गुं लङ्घयते गिरिं ।
यत्कृपा तमहं वन्दे परमानन्द माधवम् ॥
Muukam Karoti Vaacaalam Panggum Langghayate Girim |
Yat-Krpaa Tamaham Vande Param-Aananda Maadhavam ||
Meaning:
1: (I Remember with Devotion the Divine Grace of Krishna Who can make the) Dumb speak with Eloquence and the Lame cross high Mountains,
2: I Remember and Extol that Grace which flows from the Supreme Bliss manifestation of Madhava.
11.52pm
13thApril 2026
Once again a very bad sinking phase, it’s like how much ever i may eat- the brain doesn’t seem to register due to the fatigue…
Later that lil voice from within
i shall fill the empty spaces of your heart-
With A Love foregoing of my Essence Divine!
For those who’ve left all attachments to me & mine- I myself come to serve!
For they no longer Give from that limited mind selves- Their Giving comes from God!
And for the hearts such- i give back a thousand folds!
The body is sinking- But the wayfarer carries upon His Grace this boat!
There’s no longer a devotee to hold unto God-
For Gods Love encapsulates it all!
Our Love is beyond lifetimes my child-
Or Shall i call you- Beloved- for that is more closer to mine!
I shall fill the empty spaces of thy heart-
For Thy Faith has brought thee to my door & My Grace is resting upon your soul!
Know this lord knows & stands by you & even before your asking- He shall carry you across…
Beloved- You’ve Filled my Heart with joy!
When you let purity wash away that sinking of a Mind-
Hence this boat shall not sink- for it is i who shall heal & keep it afloat-
For this boat is no longer yours, But mine!
3.51pm
14th April 2026
Yesterday night too the fatigue of body loomed large, Giving an opportunity to the mind, to dwell into places that No longer serves….
But once again today something within bloomed from all that minds mud….
In Gods Belief the Heart Blooms of Assurance- That Everything is taken care by him; He’s knows & has got my needs! For His Love is Kind & doesn’t ever leave a single soul- Helplessly!
I Know Something Beautiful is about to be! Something Beautiful is about to Be!!!
11.35am
It’s Just Ones Belief that changes the trajectory of your life! It’s your Faith Alone that makes even God Change your destiny; For Nothing is written on stone- When it comes to Him, to bring about
A New Beginning!
There’s A Freshness which comes when you walk with God!
The Ebb & Flow of ones mind upon Conscience shall play, And maybe due to a certain residual habits- the waves of some thoughts surface to make one feel separate from this innate Faith;
“That God has got my back!”,
And once again the mind that mulls in unnecessary thoughts- Dwindles into this Peace of Consciousness, As Freshness of Gods breath!
For Nothing is ever lost for any soul- Whilst this ebb & flow plays it’s part,
Until the wave realises it has Nothing to Fear outside-
Because As A Sea Of Knowing,
As God it came down to play & play it must,
But Only by its Heart!
So whatever surfaces in the Churning of life, the minds poison is not yours to drink, Just Observe & let those thoughts pass- Until His Amrit nectarine Being, sweetens everything!
Later…
Vision-
I see Swami full of light- while he is embracing me with both his arms, whilst my form too is filled with light- like there’s no separation & Swami Says- “You & I are One! You & I are One”,
all along embracing and I feel his arms enfolding me.
& then he say- “My hunger is satiated, My Hunger is satiated!”
And both our forms have become One as this light!
2.33pm
Above link to post
Again Swami shows his omnipresence, when just today morning I shared that thoughts are like waves…
Once again Swami sending the signs, based on yesterday poem that he gave, along with what was shared today morning, that one can only go ahead in life, When one chooses to let go old mind habits…
& sharing the last passage of yesterdays poem, where he had addressed this body as a boat, that he won’t let it sink…
Know this lord knows & stands by you & even before your asking- He shall carry you across…
Beloved- You’ve Filled my Heart with joy!
When you let purity wash away that sinking of a Mind-
Thus this boat shall not sink- for it is i who shall heal & keep it afloat-
For this boat is no longer yours, But mine!
Above link to post
Once again his sign about having Faith- where I had told him- I know you’ve got my back!
I know that Sai you’re always there…
15th April 2026
I simply couldn’t get myself to sleep, as the occipital region of my right side of skull, felt heavy, knotted & the pain was shooting down on my right side of neck through the night. Like there’s something heavy…. I know all these symptoms are related to cancer or lupus probably…
So I diverted my attention, by listening to some talks. And in-between posting my yesterday post. But I was awake till 5.30 in the morning, Only to sleep again for 4hrs.
There were some messages from Swami…
the message written on the photo is a Bollywood song, which means- Since I met you- my heart blooms, what else more do I need to live for…
The Silence of my soul; Shall go beyond all spoken words- For This Sai knows the purity & Faith with which my heart beats for him- Now Something Unimaginable shall take place in my life- For he’s already paved the way ahead- to reveal the world of His Heart- Kind!
& to all those years of Silence, he shall speak for
& offer my heart as a Prasadam of His Love-
to partake- “What A Simple Faith brings”;
For it Brings It’s Sai to its door!!!
Yes he shall speak for my Silence- to show this heart in all its childlike longings-
Brought Sai to its door!
For that’s all was needed on my part;
“To Keep My Heart Pure!!!”
2.38am
Mother you gave a vision yesterday stating we are one- by embracing me- i wish you’d leave a sign in that context… it would make me happy if you do.
& now you shall speak for me!!!
In All Aspects of my life- For only you could heed to my Silence & know my hearts prayer…
Now you shall speak for me- My Sai!!!
I left this prayer at his door, Yet I didn’t comprehend he would be so quick to reach out… Basically my sis had Wassap me one of Ms Geeta Mohans talk & it was early morning here, though it must be late afternoon back in US for her.
Later as I finished posting yesterdays post,
I tuned to the talk & Once again Swami was giving his sign regarding yesterdays Vision- Where he embraces me & states - “You & I are One”, after which I tell him, this is how Hanumanji must have felt….When lord Rama embraced him…in all humility & deep Gratitude with no words to describe…
& Swami went all out to give his sign of confirmation to my above prayer,
As Ms Geeta Mohan shared that once Swami had invited her father & their family in the interview room, as it was her fathers 80th Birthday & Swami mentioned to him- “you’ve served me like hanuman”, As he embraced him stating “you & I are one”, just the way he showed his love to me yesterday in the Vision.
Very beautifully in the talk it is shared how can one reach this stage of experiencing this Oneness with Swami, based on Ms Geeta Mohans personal experiences
Below is the link to the talk, which I share here with Gratitude to this lord, who went all out to answer my simple prayer & in his own imitable ways he instils confidence & Hope to make sure my heart doesn’t sink in this deliberating pain,
But flutters in Gratitude.
Only God can turn your every moment of pain into A Blessing of His Immeasurable Grace!!
Link to the talk of Ms Geet Mohan
A Beautiful Vintage darshan of Swami- Above link to post
I actually had stared painting this work yesterday, thought I’ll share with yesterday thoughts..
But while painting this Lil Voice from within says
My Child, Your Sai is very very pleased with this work of yours.
3.42pm
hence I share this work here.
another message of assurance from Swami… above link to post
16th April 2026
Within thy Heart I’ve installed myself;
From Ashes of pain- This Shivalinga breathes as thy Soul!
Beloved i hold this body upon My Grace-
As all that is burnt has turned into Vibhuti-Sweet;
Now i reside as this Black Shivalinga that breathes & sings- Om, Om, Om!
2.16am
When Swami gaves the above poem, Along with that I see his form within a Shivalingam black in colour, He is smiling, & installed within my heart, like my heart is his dwelling place.
Later A Vision
I see the seven hood serpent- Shesha Sai with its hood spread out open, looking down at my face,
& whilst looking at me he says,
“Everything is going to Change, Everything is going to Change!”; While he’s held me, my head is rested upon his coil, as I see only my face,
So that I don’t sink in this ocean of pain.
& then he goes on to say- I follow him wherever he is & Hence I am here, within your heart.
& later I see Adi Shesha within my hearts space, just the way I saw Swami within a black lingam in my heart.
5.49am
later as I google the spiritual significance of Adi Shehsa-
Seeing Shesha Nag in a vision signifies a profound period of transformation, spiritual awakening, and divine protection. Being held by this cosmic serpent indicates you are being grounded and guided through major life shifts, aligning you with cosmic order and inner stability. • Sign of Transformation: Shesha Nag is the primordial serpent of eternity and cosmic time. His appearance often precedes extreme changes in how you view spirituality and your own life path.
Kundalini Awakening: The vision may indicate that dormant spiritual energy (Kundalini Shakti) is awakening within you, guiding you toward higher consciousness.
Protection and Guidance: Being held by Shesha Nag symbolizes that you are under divine protection during a chaotic or transitional time. It is a reminder to trust in the natural order of things, just as Lord Vishnu rests in trust upon Shesha Nag.
I Believe as the pain gets tough to bear,
Swami is not only instilling Hope, but along with it, he imparts some beautiful messages that Not only He Never left me to go through this pain,
All by myself, But that the more you take each step towards him, the more you realise him as your indweller.
Yet there’s a deep humility upon receiving all of these Visions, messages & Swamis undying love & Grace.
For I may Never know why he’s chosen me to share this love- But I Sure Know that just like Coco’s love gave meaning to this pain,
His Love too for birth after birth, has given meaning to my life in this pain.
I know someday some soul upon reading his work of love Shall feel his embrace too in their toughest times of life & that’s how ones story truly is complete.
For Love alone Precedes Everything & Dissolves all pains of life in it’s embrace!
11.28am
Later upon googling the spiritual significance of seeing Swami in a black lingam installed within my heart-
A vision of Sathya Sai Baba appearing within a black Lingam in your heart signifies the merging of individual consciousness with the divine. In this state, the heart becomes a sacred abode (Hiranyagarbha), and the vision represents the dissolution of ego and the recognition of inner divinity
Symbolic Interpretation
The Black Lingam: Symbolizes the formless absolute (Nirguna Brahman) where all names and forms merge. The color black represents infinity, acting as a center that absorbs negativity and emits positive energy.
Sathya Sai Baba within: Represents the Divine Teacher guiding the soul toward spiritual wisdom.
Location in the Heart: Signifies that the divine is seated in the chambers of your heart as your innermost Self or Atman
Spiritual Significance
Transformation of Consciousness: Such a vision indicates the culmination of spiritual development, where the "inner eye" opens to perceive God directly.
Healing and Grace: The vision of Sai Baba within a Lingam is considered highly auspicious and is believed to grant mental peace and healing.
Unity: The vision highlights the fundamental unity of all humanity and faiths, transcending caste and creed barriers
Once again upon truly understanding the above significance, I’m deeply humbled & touched by
the love of this Beloved of Beloved’s!
The reason being everyday by late evening, my energy starts dipping & it takes a lot of effort on my part to go for my evening walks, so that at least once a day I follow some exercise routine & even to help my mind keep light.
And than to attain to cooking, & whatever needs to be done on the home-front, post walk,
takes it’s on toll.
So yesterday too I was sinking in pain & I told Swami, Now please take away this sad feeling that comes every evening- I don’t want to have this feeling….i give it to you….
& hence the above explanation of Why Black lingam - The Black Lingam: Symbolizes the formless absolute (Nirguna Brahman) where all names and forms merge. The color black represents infinity, acting as a center that absorbs negativity and emits positive energy.
I truly have no words left to express this Grace of Love that came my way to rescue me!
Swami, Now that you’re in my heart based on today’s experience, Will you tell me, What stage Cancer is this…
Since 11th February after the Blood Cancer Vision, you’ve not said anything.
8.24pm
17th April 2026
Swami,
The fatigue gets so severe that I didn’t have any energy left to even go for my evening walk,
As I lack strength to even help myself to get up, & go down & enjoy some fresh air.
At times being in home for weeks, I simply wish to just drive out & just keep driving whole night,
So that there will be some sense of momentum in my life.
Maybe a change of scenery & simply listening to music, be on the roads, Where there’s No Home to call as my own. At times I’d feel that I just wish to run till the end of the earth, I’d often tell this to Coco, due to the in’s tense pain, that let’s just run…
Maybe when Nothing makes sense, then you just want to be all by yourself & keep walking. Because talking too seem burdensome, When you’re living from a point of constant survival mode.
1.11am
He gives A Vision along with the words
I’ll lead you through this Pains of life; For I’ve woven for you A New Sky; However your Now may seem & Even though Nothing shall make sense to you in life;
It Will All eventually turn into
“A Blessing in Disguise”
7.49am
Vision- i see him outstretching his hands towards me, While he leads as i hold onto his hands & follow,
After a while he no longer walks ahead of me, But beside, Whilst lovingly looking into my eyes
At times people are not there…Where you are at ! And that’s ok,
Because God put you there- for it was Good for your soul & the day you know this Truth; A Sense of Self surfaces- independent of external voices.
It’s Calm & Peaceful, it’s Trust & Faith; It knows to let go easily what no longer serves & it’s steadfast to it’s loyal-ness.
When God takes you to this place- know because He wishes to Give himself to thee!
For the Self emerges through pains & Solitude- Where you know he’s there & you were Never lonely!
Own this Space where you will be with him & none can walk that path with you- & in that Emerge in this Self of A Knowing- that the Presence within was & is Him!
At times people are not there Where you’re at & that too is His Divine Gift!!!
8.29am
Letting Go everything in the hands of God;
Lends the painful events A Closure of Peace;
Because they were Never your problems- In the first place to carry,
Letting Go can only Be- When the Soul is Ripe enough to understand that minds ways of fixing- Can Never Reveal that Peace.
Because trying to control outcomes are Minds way to think it’s “Power lies in Force…”,
While letting go is flowing like a river; & letting the pebbles in its way be!
For the river doesn’t stagnate in trying to control what comes in it’s way- But Simply Flows to Sings it’s Music!
There’s A Greater Strength in Giving it all; Whilst the minds way brings you down saying- you’ve failed!
But Letting Go is Gods Grace upon your Soul, to know you can unflinchingly Trust Him! Because the Higher Mind knows Better than Ones own limited thinking!
8.36am
From That lil voice within-
Beloved,
Gods Heart Flutters in Joy; Every time you Choose to Believe him; Irrespective of these long & painful nights!
8.38am
Above link to a beautiful song
Again That lil voice from within-
When i ask you to do the Blood test, then go & do.
9.27pm
Swamis message as I had told him this morning, that it gets so difficult that I don’t even know where do i stand with this Blood Cancer & there’s no point getting pricked every now & then,
When Nothing shows up on the report.
Swami with this above message you are once again confirming, that there will be further tests
& that you shall help me overcome them, Since you mentioned in chit to include this message.
Swami with you installed in my heart, & the Heart is the One that moves the body & all life in it,
Swami I have no fear.
For as I mentioned in the morning, these burdens are yours to carry, not mine.
18th April 2026
Above link to post
How beautiful of this lord, a day before yesterday, through A Vision he installed himself in my heart & today this message that when Lord is installed in ones heart than there’s this Divine Sweetness that grows form within.
Since I was finishing posting my earlier 2 posts, due to extreme fatigue & sleeplessness, this message came across
Again that lil voice-
You have dissolved a lot of pain & anger that came your way- Due to Minds that weren’t Ripe enough to follow their hearts- with your Love!
Hence I too shall Dissolve all of your physical pains in my Absolute Love!
Nothing ever goes Unnoticed by your Sai!
This Diamond of your heart, that was thrown away thinking it to be a mere rock by some,
Who couldn’t see its Beauty,
For their Minds of selfishness clouded their Understanding!
This Heart Shall Shine Evermore with My Effulgence, My Child!
Know Nothing is Ever Lost, When it comes to your Sai! And since you’ve given it all to me- It is my Responsibility to Give back that Love,
“A Thousand Folds!”
For “I’m the Dharma Rakshate Rakshata”
& I came down to uphold Dharma, Whence it may seems its lost!
12.06pm
Later this message
Swami yesterday you gave me this message from within- That when you’ll ask me to do the test,
I should go & get it done, So be it…
But, Mother pls let the Guidance be direct & clear whensoever you ask me to do the test.
5.04pm
19th April 2026
At times quietness of Self is all that One Needs to traverse through great pains of life-
Because your sharing only invites more minds; Who have “No Knowledge”, whatsoever on how to help you, lest alone, they aren’t even in the position to help themselves.
If you can come to a place,
Where Swami becomes your All to go to person,
than even if you’ll traverse these waters of pains, that may be swarming with minds of crocodiles, Nothing can touch you.
Silence not only insulates you from these outside noises, But even bring you to a place of strength within.
A part of Coco’s Silence Now lives through me, And simply by his calm presence in my life,
he helped me in ways, far greater then these “minds” ever could.
For your life here is Not to carry the weight of someones thoughts-
Their Mind Burdens are solely theirs to carry,
& Not yours!
This Silence of Coco’s breath is my armour in pain, to help me traverse through.
For inspite of being a dog he was far more open & in-tune to my pain than others
So use whatever armour you need when times are tough, Because this life is a gift too precious to be wasted upon Nonsensical mind-stuff.
2.11pm
With Coco, I’ve learnt this simple message,
“Love thyself”, Because unless you do this, you can never love others. & loving thyself is Nothing but to know that Self is God. And then whatsoever surfaces from that place of knowing is beautiful.
O Mind! Walk with an Un abashed-ness of thy Spirit, For that is where Gods love dwells. Be Truthful to your feet, For otherwise you’ll be left with No Ground to stand!
Swami meet me upon this Truth alone!
The way Coco lead me to it….
2.14pm
Once again to the above message that silently fight your battles, you don’t need to invite crocodiles of Mind, who shall feed on your pain, Rather let the guidance come from Swami within, he gives a sign with the above message to reinforce the teaching
20th April 2026
This above message once again corresponds to yesterday’s writings, that all you need is rely on the self, be alone & grow…
On Breath of Gods Breath; i lay my mind to Rest! For I’ve Given it All to Him & it’s His Responsibility to care! Because it’s His Given Promise; When you do Gods work- Then your work has Already been taken care!
On Gods Breath i lay my mind to rest!
6.30am
Use these seasons of Pain for your Change & letting seasons help you Transcend! Keep your spirit at His Feet!
Let everything else go- as A Thought of Cloud that simply revealed itself to pass by without Overshadowing this clean pure space within.
For this space of Love & Cocos breath is way too important to bargain for lesser things.
Embrace your Soul with the Goodness of thy spirit- Smell Coffee, paint a few things, remind yourself of summer air- where your carefree childhood lived! Pause to see a bird that sings for itself & imbibe these lessons of Simplicity,
See how roots grow of trees- for they Breathe a breath where every season comes to pass by,
Yet the roots grow at their given pace- slowly.
But even this growth is enough to hold a mighty tree.
Slow down life is enfolding & Be like Nature knowing it’s Not lost anything!!! Feel the grass- know you’re loved- Simply Stop looking for love in wrong places.
Be like Cocos breath that gave & in it’s selflessness found it’s hearts beauty!
For someday when God shall come to pick you up & lift from these darkness of years- He shall smile that your soul with His Fragrance Breathes!
Don’t bargain this Child for the Minds of people who’ve forgotten the beauty of being carefree! Everything is taken care of- Everything is taken care by Him!
Use this Season of Fall In Believing that All Good Awaits for the Goodness of my heart within.
Your Belief Alone changes everything!!! Focus on the beauty of thy soul- leaving futile minds to their own tragedy!
Give back to God this Heart full of His Fragrance, that he gave you even before you were born in this body! So that every second of this life you Breathe- You’re Free!!!
12.41am
Energy went sinking down & once again had to skip my evening walk…there are so many things you share with Swami & Believe me, he responds to your every heart felt truthful feelings, the message below once Again gives that assurance
21st April 2026
With these above 2 messages, all i can say is that Swami responds to your deepest unsaid feelings
None can teach you, how to walk in this life….
But your Heart, which is embedded with the guidance even before life blossomed within.
Because like the DNA of ones body, the Spiritual DNA of ones heart & soul has been handed it’s solution even before challenges in life arise.
With Swami I’ve come to understand Silence is a powerful prayer. When taken with a pill of Acceptance for all that life came to give.
Yes Accept what happens to you, then your mind shall not trouble you with the “Whys”,
But that same Mind will then be guided by the Heart as to “How”, can I go past this.
Acceptance is winning half the battle, Where you don’t let the minds waywardness to get the better of you & in that extend the egos ways of suffering.
For all Problems Arise from Expectations,
While Acceptance is Gods Strength within.
& When this Acceptance leads you to this Silent transformation- A Change takes place within.
Where you no longer expect anything from anyone outside, but your self.
And this Expectation from Ones Self, paves way to live life from the breath of God-
that whatsoever happened was & is Good for me.
Without these Challenges your mind can’t be humbled to know that the solution always lies within
One’s heart, Whilst the body may seem to die, & mind may be calm or stooped low in its habitual patterns of trying to control life, the Heart Always knows the way.
For that calm amidst challenges comes from Him. God Never Promised an easy life, But he did say Follow the Master- the Heart & then you’re equipped enough to face any Challenges.
3.30am
Above link to post
the draining of physical energy & extreme fatigue due to Cancer, got so bad that inspite of knowing,
I need to finish my days chores, I couldn’t get myself to get up & meet the task at hand, nor could I go for my evening walk yesterday & was awake till 5 in the morning, barely able to catch up on a few hours of sleep later.
But Swamis constant internal guidance,
help kept the mind in check.
The Problem is we have adapted into becoming
a reactive civilisation,
Whilst Swamis & Coco’s ways of the Power of Silence, has what safeguarded me from troubles that ego usually creates.
Coco’s ways to Accept my pain became my magnet to face North in life, so that my mind doesn’t pull me down-southward.
Coco would Accept me fully, during such times when I couldn’t gather strength to even get up,
with his calm presence beside.
Swami too is this calm presence within & if one can hold on to this space of calm, whilst learning life lessons as fodder to ones growth than you will lessen the impact of ones minds suffering.
Yes One may read these words, and try to collect the information therein, to apply it in ones life
as a handy tool,
But Ones Mind can only do that much-
“Be A Collector of Information of handy tools”,
that one may either remember to apply when Challenges come…
Or get sucked up in Minds reactive tendencies, & forget this Calm Presence within
But when one grows in love for God, in Faith of knowing- “I’ve given these problems to him”,
& he shall make the way ahead in life for me through these problems that have been bothering me for long; then that Calm of Gods Breath flows within, as your breath.
& you realise, your story doesn’t end here,
with these so called problems.
Because Swami had once given me this beautiful quote-
“The Truth in me is far Greater than my shortcomings!”
12.44pm
Swami once again through these messages, gives the sign to confirm, that the teachings given above have not only come from him, But truly if one wishes to experience Swamis presence within, then following Swamis teachings alone brings that Grace.
Something beautiful again happened right now, Where Swami made me share the above teachings with my mom, in context to someone’s health issue & I stated no matter what life gives you, one has to keep their minds Pure. For A Calm & Pure Mind alone is an asset to help one face any challenges
Purity Alone brings Grace of God within one’s heart! And that Swami only chooses to dwell in a heart that’s pure, When Mind remains untouched by it’s nature to hold on to pain Or get influenced by others limited ways of seeing at life.
Even though i was draining in energy, he’s the wire-puller of when he makes you speak & when to remain silent. As I hung up on the phone I was draining in energy more severe than even before, So much so,
that I was struggling to breathe.
& immediately I see Swami- Vision-
in his young form, Swiftly walking towards me,
He embraces me & says “I’m very happy, I’m very happy”, expressing his Joy for sharing the teaching.
1.25pm
Swami it seems like this work here is done,
except that painting we started for being by the self has to be finished & shared along with the earlier post- Which hopefully i can start working tomorrow onwards. But other than that, it feels the work is done!
I don’t even wish to know anymore, Where do i stand with this Blood Cancer. That wish too is no more there on my mind.
Just the longing….that you didn’t come…
this month is ending & you still didn’t come home. Frankly speaking with the kind of pain day in & out, the only wish i have is to merge in you.
Today evening went for a light walk, sat down taking in some fresh air & Grateful to be able to do these little-little things of life, that one takes it for granted.
But right now, again my energy is draining so bad due to the pain,
That frankly, I’m not even waiting for Coco to come, because i know, I can’t take care of him, When the life within me is sinking every moment. I’d rather merge in a love that’s you & him- Pure!
I feel my life here is done maa; Either you come home Or take my soul & free me fully!
10.06pm
22nd April 2026
Mother & Child,
This Eternal Mother has held us in her arms for lifetimes over lifetimes. His Love is Unfailing…
His Promises are Always kept!
He Never Falters Nor Fails from his word-
For He’s the Truth that cradles this Universe. 12.12am
Such a beautiful message, it’s not that we are puppets in his hands, but he’s leading us to this Freedom within. Just yesterday I had shared with mom, that why do you think God gives us these challenges of some illness or some challenging people our way, it’s not because he wants to see us fall,
But Because He wants us to Know & Experience we are God!
So whatever the mind has been holding in its way, God helps to remove that Untruth to help us Experience this Truth, that He & I are one!
No Outwardly Success can ever fill your heart-
If You’ve Not Experienced God!
Experienced him as thy very breath & the core that moves life within this mortal body.
Because the Souls search outwardly is Nothing but this search within for it’s home
& that Home is God!
Hence other than A Purity of A Love that’s him- Everything Literally Everything in life will eventually bring you to a Closed door.
Unless you open that door within your very own heart!
This Pains Silence, brought me to the Silence of God within…Hence whatsoever is given to you by God is indeed A Beautiful Gift!
11.30am
Once again to the above thoughts, that God removes the Untruth to reveal- you & I are one.
But here with this message, Swami so beautifully shares why he separated himself from himself…
At times quietness of Self is all that One Needs to traverse through great pains of life-
These above words were written on the 19th, 2 days ago & I was suppose to share this work then,
But since I could only finish it today,
So I’ve shared it here & while doing this work, once again my energy dipped into a sinking state-
pretty bad, like I won’t make it…
that’s when the poem below came…
in times of deepest pains,
When there are No Answers…
It’s Best to remain Silent;
For Silence Invites God to take over…
& When He takes over, then there’s Nothing to be worried for.
7.11pm
For Coco; the Silent Love of God, in face of greatest of storms. Even though the body fails, it reminds- Love withstands all odds!
23rd April 2026
In my heart I asked him, Why such long pauses Sai, as yesterday evening the sinking in pain got so worse, that I could sense energy draining from the pores of my skin & I was breathless like I’ll not make it. There was no energy to even get up. Yet I kept painting the work of coco & me that i shared in yesterdays post
Yes he’s been guiding me from within regarding the workings of a human mind, But at times with this pain it feels, life is dragging….
Though I can see my mind is empty, The thoughts may come- “What now, when will your health improve, it’s been 25yrs & so on…”
The thoughts come, but they don’t leave any impression, it’s like they come & go,
& those earlier feelings of having heavy emotions associated with these thoughts is no longer there…
This is a big shift, when you give everything to God, that maybe painful & not for ones growth than God gives back the same Mind Purer
the way he made & this Mind of God Trusts & Believes in good of life.
If you ever wish to discern the ego mind with Gods Heart & Mind, then simply see in your toughest challenges, can you face the problems with a calm trusting manner that higher power is at work,
Or does you mind jump into every situation based on it’s habitual reactions to control the outcome & in doing so get stressed, only to create further problems.
That Mind that appears as your Freind in truth is working against you.
Because when you turn to God within, maybe a certain problem like ones health may get solved after years of patience,
But in those intervening years working with God, You’ll be Free of this mind that bound you birth after birth.
For Gods approach to your every problem will be Something so Unique based on helping you selflessly with no ulteriro motives or agendas to use ones painful moment for ones own benefit.
If you’ll develop this discerning quality than you’re bound to be successful. The problem is we rely on minds that may have attained some “success in this world”, But on personal level these minds bite them into more troubles.
Whereas Gods Mind is Selfless, it’s not born from I- for personal benefits, it’s A Universal Mind, that holds all minds in it’s embrace, letting each mind traverse it’s journey of highs & lows, at it’s own pace.
But turning in to The Mind of God will save you from the lengthy process that ego takes one on. And you’ll be well equipped to face those challenges with a perspective so Fresh & designed uniquely for your souls growth.
So even though i felt, how long Sai with this pain, Yet I was well aware of some thoughts pattern that surfaced & yet didn’t leave any impression upon me to be carried as baggage’s & weigh me down,
That’s how Swamis guidance frees one
1.08M
To the above message of assurance regarding my failing health - all I wish to say is Sai pls come, pls come
Again his way to answer through this message on my asking for such pause & delays
A quiver of thrill ran down my spine, upon seeing this message, because it’s my heart longing that you come….that you come…
My Beloved Sai!
Even whilst writing this, I feel Joy run down my spine, as my hearts breath quivered, imagining, how shall it be, When he actually & in blood & skin comes & stands at my door….
After this long journey of pain & Swamis ways to teach me the way to ones heart through ones own mind & being aware of influences of others minds,
I’ve come to a place, that I don’t need anything much in life other than Him.
That either he comes & takes me, Or my soul merges into His & Cocos heart!
Because for me there’s Nothing in this world that gives me the Joy that their love give.
Swami tomorrow being 24th April, the day you choose to leave your physical form,
Yet, for me you’ve not left even for a split second, you’ve become my breath, heart, mind, body & soul! Yet there’s this deep longing- I wish to come home!!!
In my limited minds thinking I had felt, that maybe Swami would ask me to share this Prasadam of his work tomorrow being the 24th.
But he had given me a promise of healing in body at the onset of this work & even gone to say- Relent until God heeds your prayer & fulfils it Or die praying. But till then don’t give in.
So Swami this work shall be shared either post you give an healing Or it shall go down with me.
But,
Thank you for Everything & for coming into my life this way. To both you & Coco, because if not for your love & guidance, I couldn’t have made it this far in life.
12.33pm
I know Sai maa, without thy Divine energy with this kind of illness- I would have simply collapsed, it’s only your sheer Grace Mother to carry me through it all.
1.44pm
& with this above message Swami not only nailed the teachings he gave this morning about how a human mind works…
& that it’s clearly not necessary to share everything about your life with everyone,
Because other than God, None can Truly Selflessly guide & help one.
As theres a very beautiful saying from Swami- which I’d like to include here…
& While I was searching for that quote of his, I came upon this video on YouTube,
Where Swami goes to explain that why you should not Trust everyone. You must love all, But Trust only God, because most people lack discrimination to help you.
Below is the link to the talk
Another beautiful video of Swami, above link to post
Had to share this painting, posted on 5th May 2024, with these below thoughts…
You know in the end what gives meaning to All the pain of this world- It’s Kindness- it’s holding another’s soul such, as though it came down as
“A Kiss of God”, upon this earth.
Kindness goes way beyond love. You may not be able to love all, But you can Be Kind!
Kindness is meeting all life in a certain dignity,
So that death too is met with a certain dignity.
It’s showing God- i hold all that came from thou as precious!
Even if you may not be able to reach out in help of some kind to another being- you can always meet them with Kindness-
For Kindness blooms ones soul!
We talk about service of varied kinds- We may Sing gods glory, serve food, give medicines, treat the body of its needs.
But Kindness is letting that soul know- your time here was indeed of value & you deserve to be met with dignity through life & death.
Kindness alone reveals to them,
How God sees their soul! So Be Kind!
For it shall, Not only wash you into a space that makes one see others come down from the very Heart of Him!
Yet, Kindness blossoms, When you’ve felt that Embrace within thy soul- from God,
Such that His Heart now beats within.
10.24pm
God is Kind & with His Kindness he gives meaning to all life!!!
I hope when this work finishes- All that one sees in oneself is Him!
Because seeing him within reminds one how beautiful this heart is & how kind & simple each soul is woven with.
When you’ll take your last breath, you sure can’t take anything, All the shines of worldly success too shall fade-
But all that you’ll take is, how you met God in each,
For each soul is valuable in his eyes & embraced in his love eternally.
10.35pm
PS: Happened to see a beautiful biographical film- Temple Grandin. The film chronicles the life of Dr Temple Grandin, an autistic woman who revolutionalized the cattle industry & became a leading advocate for autism.
And so beautifully it’s shown that being Autistic & having a high level of sensitivity to life, God had a place even for this gift to help pave ways into treating animals with dignity & kindness before they met their end
24th April 2026
A beautiful message on this day today, because truly God is not form, he’s the spirit, the presence of each & every being. The Omnipresence, that never was born to die. Above link to post
Once again after all the above messages of Divine Assurance, this message is indeed Truth, I Know within the Core of my being, he has saved me, from some of the worst things concerning my life & health.
He has been Silently working behind the scenes, So that even in these challenging times of pain, other than Him, I need not rely on anything or anyone outside. The day he shall Reveal this, others may know.
But within the core of my self- I Already Know!!!
Luckily i got some good rest & sleep,
even though i was awake till until 2.30am
Early morning Vision around 5.30am
In my heart, I take the iPad to get blessed as today being 24th, When Swami chose to leave his physical presence….
So i take the iPad, to get this work Blessed & as I approach the chair in Sai Kulwant hall,
i see the chair is empty…
thats when i hear him say- “I’m not seated on this chair- I’m in your heart!”
Signifying there’s no separateness, that he’s someplace outside,
That Prashanti Nilayam as a physical space has now become the space within the heart,
Where he dwells.
Later i take the iPad to Shirdi & i see a massive Golden Sheshanaag- with it’s hood spread open
& on that is seated Shirdi Baba,
who’s having a golden light emanating from his form.
As i look up, I feel like this tiny minuscule figure
in comparison to the Grandness of the Golden sheshnaag, upon which Shirdi Baba is seated.
Vision ends
in the morning as i search the spiritual significance of this vision-
This vision represents a powerful, symbolic, and divine manifestation of Shirdi Sai Baba, merging his form with that of a celestial deity (Vishnu/Sheshnaag). While the physical idol in Shirdi sits on a marble/stone throne (now often adorned with gold), a vision of Baba seated on a huge golden Sheshnaag (serpent) represents the cosmic, eternal aspect of his divinity.
The Golden Form: Baba is seen not in his human, white-robed form, but as a radiant, golden divine being, symbolizing pure light, divine bliss, and his status as an avatar
The Sheshnaag Vision: He sits gracefully, often with his right leg folded over his left knee, atop a massive golden Sheshnaag serpent. The serpent's many hoods form a majestic, divine canopy over his head, symbolizing protection and his identity as the supreme Lord (akin to Lord Vishnu)
Symbolism: The golden sheshnaag represents the cosmic energy of Ananta Shesha (the endless serpent), indicating that Sai Baba is the eternal power supporting the universe. It symbolizes that even the great thousand-headed Sheshnag finds it impossible to fully describe his greatness
Aura and Atmosphere: The scene is characterized by brilliant, golden light (Tejas) that radiates from his figure, filling the surroundings with a serene yet powerful divine energy.
This is how he’s been Walking me through the choppy seas of life. And such a beautiful song to share along with this painting
Above link to post
PS- Later as I was working on the painting of this mornings Vision, while listening to Bhajans, this bhajan comes up on the list as an auto play, Where even Swami is seated with Sheshanaag. Though it’s a black & white artwork, I felt this was Swamis way to inspire to paint him too seated on Shesha Sai, along with the Shirdi form, hence I painted that
25th April 2026
Due to the intense pain, I was awake way past 3am & was barely able to catch a couple of hours of sleep, As a heavy feeling of uneasiness loomed large, such that I may throw up, leaving me awake since 5 in the morning
Even the lymph nodes swelling was painful to bear. Finally I decided to go for a light stroll, rather than tossing on bed & once home, I took a short break, to gather strength for the days chores
Basically last night I told Swami, I’m tired with this intense fatigue & pain, Please don’t send me anymore messages of Hope.
I know these messages are given to help me go past this pain from one day to another,
But I’m just done here.
As it is there’s no point simply stating tomorrow will be a better day, When we both know,
Given the nature of this illness & its impact upon the body, that it’s just getting tough.
Hence I told him-Yesterday’s vision shall be the last post, that ill shall share, once the painting is done.
While I was trying to sleep though it was all futile,
Swami gave A Vision- (sharing the vision, with this mural of Swami I painted in our home almost 2decades ago, as this picture of swami always reminds me of him as Krishna)
I see Swami in his young days,
that charming playful Krishna form,
with that big halo of hair & impish like Krishna.
He’s smiling, jovially, as he wraps his one arm around my neck, so as to stop me & pull me back towards where he’s standing.
Like he’s my Freind, My best buddy,
Who’s trying to say, “Don’t Give up, for I’ve Not given up on you”,
There was this air of playfulness & lightness,
So as to nudge me to keep going.
And then these words are given-
I Rush to those who unfailingly follow me with their hearts; My Love unflinchingly carries them through all pains; Even when unasked!
1.47am
Vision ends!
Swami being all knowing, knew I was extremely tired of this pain, & with that playfulness of Krishna he was infusing his strength in me,
that our love goes beyond time, So even of I ask him to not send me messages- he shall do everything to let me know- he’s there!
That No matter how difficult this pain gets,
& you feel like it’s enough! I’m here with you & i shall never let go off you
Yes this above message is Truth. His Blessings does follow & there’s no plain of Consciousness, Where he’s not. Swami through this work has constantly made me aware that his blessings reach me, no matter what.
Later that lil voice from within
“Everything will be fine- Everything will be fine”-
as though on a loop my soul kept reassuring.
When pain crosses thresholds & body breaks within each cell to reveal- How Pain always has an upper hand; As in it’s grip, life seems to dwindle
The soul within quietly assures- “Keep going, keep going, keep going”, the mantra with which Cocos love led me through it all.
Keep going mom for Nothing is ever lost,
Even as pain seems to break this body,
Such that, words even fail to describe it, yet
“Keep going, Keep going, Keep going in my love!”
5.31am
Love is Simple & Love is present in your hour of Need! At times we don’t need to fix anything for anyone, But simply be there, & let the person going through pain- know, they’re not alone!
When Swami came to me as Coco- I experienced that physical aspect of God & Now,
I experience Swami as my very own soul.
& in one’s every downfall it is God alone,
Who shows up, Weather in a physical frame he chooses to come by, which for me was Coco…
Or through Visions, to show he never truly left; He is Omnipresent!
Love is Simple- it Never Fails,
Especially when Swami becomes your all in all,
No matter what life throws your way.
I’m Grateful for this Love that holds me,
So that I don’t loose Hope & find that inner strength to carry on, for Yet another day!
11.07am
Swami, I’ve walked in the door, But now you have to walk in physically into our home
Above link to post
It’s so beautiful the love of this God, this is exactly how he was smiling & laughing in the early mornings Vision. This same impishness of Krishna. So once again he goes to re-instate, that don’t give up!
26th April 2026
When this life doesn’t make any sense…
& it only feels like there are Failures upon failures woven within each breath…
Then know that Sai is there!!!
When mind dwells on all the Impossibles of life- Because of it’s Beleif in some thought- A Thought that’s not kind- Then again Choose that Belief that there’s Sai!
Because it’s our Simple Belief;
That makes Or breaks life!
Thoughts are transistory in nature- passing clouds that come & go; But what gives them life- is our Belief!
My Sai often says- I am God, But so are you!
He had once answered, when asked
“What are you thinking, Baba”, to that question
he responded by saying,
“No thought, No thought”, as whatsoever I’ll think, So shall it be!
That’s the Power of each thought that Divine Purity breathes life in!
That aspect of divinity is embedded in each!
But what gives life to our passing thoughts-
“Simply is, What we Choose to Believe”,
So when the storms are dark & the mind turns against your own self & howls “how are things ever gonna work out”,
Simply Remind your Mind- There is Sai,
to whom I’ve given it all!!!
& with this simple Switch of thoughts- You Shall Change the Trajectory of your life-
From Doubt to Trust!
For you can’t offer doubt & then expect God to show Trust!
For God shall give you what you Believe in,
Until your mind is Divine enough;
That whatsoever you shall think- So Shall it Be!
Until then let this mind be washed away in Purity- To Choose Him & Believe in Him Over Everything!
4.07am
That lil Voice from within-
My Child you shall live on like Hanuman; because all the work that you’ve done- You did it Only to Please me & for No other reason!
9.51am
This is one of the most beautiful prayer written by Swami, about how to be his instrument
And with this above message, he again reinstates what he just mentioned above- that when you perform actions with a Pure intention & mind than you’re bound to be successful. That you did the work- only to please me.
Once again this above message is in context to what he inspired me to write today early morning, about belief & trust in God
27th April 2026
In the distant fading lights, i melt…
Beloved if we’re on the path meant to be;
then reach out to me…
“As one step mine & a thousand step yours”,
So that Our journey in Love, shall be Complete!
I’ve asked thee….from the depths of my soul,
But Only if thou have heed my call;
Then can thou, truly reach out….
As I’ve done my part-
Now the rest has to be done by thee, My Lord!
12.02am
Swami gives a Vision
I see, Shirdi baba seated in white gown,
facing me with his right hand of blessing upon my head, whilst I’m seated facing him with my hair tied into a plait.
He has this calm smile upon his face,
& Assurance of promises kept in his eyes.
As he says these words-
You will get Everything in your life- You will get Everything in your life; More then what you’ve asked for. This Sai baba is very proud of you,
This Sai baba is very proud of you”,
7.41am
Vision ends
With passage of time & seeing people getting some place in their lives- i tell Swami-
Today too you didn’t answer my prayer- though you came in the Vision & mentioned - “you’re proud of me”, but you once again dodged the bullet, regarding reaching out to me with an answer related to Cancer.
I mean it’s been 26yrs of my life this way,
with every single day in pain…..
Life moves ahead taking all, While time stands still for me
Later almost by 9.45pm, Whilst having dinner-
Again that lil voice from within says- That my first exhibition shall be at Nine Fish gallery in Mumbai & it shall be a good show.
(As in the day I had asked him, Where is the exhibition going to be, placing 2 options)
But I immediately respond to him saying-
Swami No more quiet messages, it’s not enough-
Now through action show me, if you truly meant what you just told me about my work, by answering- Where do i stand with this Blood Cancer, because I’m genuinely tired!!!
Above link go post
Beautiful darshan video of Swami
Later Swami reaches out to me with this message- Which is again similar to the Vision he gave in the morning. Just that in the Vision, his right hand was placed upon my head.
This Message above again is Swami reassuring me, that what I asked regarding Cancer, he has already heard.
28th April 2026
Swami again gives A Vision-
He’s standing in front of me, With his right hand index finger placed touching upon my forehead- at the third eye region,
Whilst he Assures “Why Fear when I am here, Why Fear when I am here…”
5am
This time the Vision doesn’t end,
But lingers, As I sense the touch of his index finger upon my forehead, along with the words resounding in my soul- “Why Fear when I am here”, playing on a loop.
Swami if Truly you’re my True Freind, as i have followed the teachings of my heart, then today itself you have to reach out to me regarding this Blood Cancer, because since 11th Februarys Vision, you’ve gone quiet…
above link to post with a beautiful Krishna bhajan
And only A True Freind can Understand the dilemma of a Freind in need! Since you even met me as a buddy with that Krishna like mischievous joy, in an earlier vision
5.13pm
As i lay with my eyes shut, due to tiredness of getting only 4hours sleep, after sharing the above on my site…
Once again A Vision
Swami walks towards me, while I’m seated & he bends his face & body, to lean down towards me, He looks into my eyes, While i see his eyes- loving kind as a mother. He tells me- “I’m coming to your house”, then tells me- “Padnamaskar chesko”; meaning- take padnaskar.
He stands there in that slight bent down posture looking into my eyes lovingly for a very long time.
Vision ends
5.26pm
above link to post, Beautiful song & Darshana of Swami
Above link to post
I Accept thy Will & I even accept that thou aren’t a Freind in Need, Who’d reach out…. When prayed…& inspite of countless assurance from your end….
Thats all!
For the day ended on unfulfilled promises, yet again. & whatever need be for this work,
I shall put my best foot forward….Thats all!
11.34pm
29th April 2026
Above link to post
When he doesn’t reach out this is how you feel…lost & quiet.
A swell of Quietness sinks,
as you’re able to heed this space both outside & within.
He’s the Self, My Breath, Yet that longing to see him as your Freind when not met- Pinches.
The Space within my home is quiet,
As is the space within the corners of my head.
I heed this empty space that’s him- Yet I long for the touch of a Freind,
Who’d say- see I’m here- holding your hand,
I’ve Come….I’ve Come…
Even before you called me!
“O That’s a Freind….That’s a Freind I truly Need!”
Swami it’s not about the answer of where I stand in this Blood Cancer, it’s about having a Freind like this….
That’s all I wish to say.
11.01am
When things don’t go our way we learn to love,
love more of ourselves, Because the onus always lies with us- “to love ourselves”
To lean on that quiet Truth within-
However you are, You are enough!
If we shall live our lives upon borrowed eyes,
We shall Fail to see the power we’re endowed with.
For those borrowed eyes, Live from a space of a weakling.
When someone meets you with their Shortsightedness- then Observe it,
But don’t pluck their eyes, & start seeing yourself from a place that’s weak.
When Challenges surmount- Be Still, Be Quiet,
Do your Inner-workings, that take you beyond the limitedness with which others see themselves & those around.
Love yourself for that Love is Nothing,
But God loving thee.
& then when you shall emerge from the turmoils of life- be it health, money, work, physical perceptions, you’ll emerge from a Strength that was Kind to itself & that in-turn shall bring “Kindness”, into others ways of perceiving
You have to work on yourself, for yourself & that alone makes Gods light shine from within.
For in the end we all are only seeking to be loved- But our seeking it outside is in Truth,
Soul seeking for Him all along!
12.49pm
Even the seeds have to grow in Silence to grow into mighty trees,
So their roots aren’t stifled by Minds of weeds,
Silence is Gods Gift,
When Nothing works your way- Utilise even that as Gods Gift!
Don’t shoot the arrow, before you’ve learnt to hold the bow in alingnment of your innermost being!
Above link to post
Once again a beautiful message that Trust his timing with a beautiful bhajan- that he’s the controller of time & he’s beyond time.
Above link to post Of Swamis Darshana.
30th April 2026
Above link to post
Divine Darshana of Bhagwan, which upon seeing I tell him, there’s a bright Sun behind you, but out here in my life this darkness just doesn’t go…
Now no more desires left to chase….Other then the longing to merge everything in this Oneness of Love! Whether I’ll live Or die, matters Not. Now merging in this love is all!
12.17pm
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