Heart Of God (continued part 4)
- megloke76
- Jan 16
- 30 min read
Updated: 4 hours ago
16th January 2026
Early morning message- While I’m still awake, After yesterday evenings Vision, Where he’s saying I stand by you like A Rock. Don’t worry…
I woke up & Realise, Swami didn’t yet answer
the health prognosis through dream or some other way…
& in my heart I felt-
I’ll go to Parthi & Shirdi, in imagination
& offer this work at his lotus feet,
& leave it to that.
But for some reason-
I just couldn’t Imagine Nor Visualise myself in Parthi & Shirdi.
Every time i’d shut my eyes-
it’s just a black space, I’d see…
So I smiled at this play of Swami & told him
“you don’t want me to offer it this way”,
Hence you’ve taken away this imaginative power too…I Accept & let it be.
& then to this above heart break, again his message
Link to Above post with his message
Later,
Swami gives A Vision-
I see him seated right in my heart, like a Bright yellow Sun. And I can feel what A Power-house of energy he’s placed within. He’s smiling but staring right into my eyes.
And along with the Vision the lines of poem too are given.
So while I’m noting down the words of poem,
that flow automatically from him to me-
He inspires, that i should share it with One of the paintings he made me paint earlier on 22nd September 2025.
But to use this very painting as a base & to it add Cosmos…
So here is the panting that he inspired me to paint for the poem he gave along the vision, that I finished Painting by afternoon.
He’s the Brightest of Sun Residing right within the Centre of Our Hearts;
He carries our Burdens for without His light, Through the darkness of our minds-
We Simply couldn’t last!
He’s the Deva of Dev!
For Whom, The Trilokah too Awaits- For that One Single Glance of his eyes!
While he carries us upon his eye lids- to show- “You’re Mine!”
The Light of His Brightest Sun, Sings to each from within- It’s the Grace he’s Graced upon us-
Yet unaware, We traverse through this life,
Bound by Our Attachments to Minds & Bodies.
Heart is the Place where this Entire Universe Breathes; For This Heart is not you & me-
“This Heart is He!”
He’s Placed the Secret of Creation right within each- For this Heart is Verily God-
O Child, Verily the Glory of his light; The Sole Powerhouse of Energy that lights up this
Entire Cosmos.
More powerful than even A Single Sun that Nurtures The Earth.
He’s placed that Power right within us,
Yet, Within is where man, Often Forgets to Seek- While Lost in the creation that came from Nothing & Shall dissolve back in him!
Hold this love I’ve breathed unto you, Hold this Heart as My Only Gift to Help you Realise-
“In Truth there’s No You!”
Hold this Love & in its Love Alone Shall All life Be Redeemed!
Beloved I’ve kissed you with myself by placing this Very Heart- Which Alone is the Centre- the Sun- the Nucleus- the creation- around which Reverberates-everything!
My love for you is immense that holds
this cosmos upon the palm of my hands,
Yet I’ve placed it’s secrets right within each-
If you shall meditate upon that heart-
Upon A Knowing of this Heart-
“That you’re All Loved, each & everyone of you,
All are Blessed by my Presence within”
If you shall meditate with One Pointed Focus,
Even for a split second upon this Truth;
Thou Shall See me Always- Standing beside thee, around thee, above thee, within thee, carrying thee.
For in my immense love, I gave This Heart to you- Already, Even Before Time…
Knowing well, One day thou shall come seeking me & that search of yours-
“Shall End in the Awareness of My Presence within”
Today I gift you this Awareness of this Heart-
Of My Presence within….
Behold! Behold! Behold! For that Heart is Verily me!
& Without It, This Creation Simply Ceases to Exist!
10.27am
Each Heart within, Carries A Cosmos in it’s Self, My Child!
12.47pm
Sai maa…Simple are thy ways to Share this Love that makes this Entire Creation Breathe!
Yet when I asked about the love Coco came to give- Was it Separate from your love..Was it less of a heart- For thou kept Silent again….
O Love of A Thousand Mothers- Aren’t Hearts Who Open Closed-doors for Others born from the Very fabric of Thy Soul-
For that’s the love I’ve Experienced & that’s the Love Alone i know!
I don’t know the reason behind yesterdays evening vision where you kept telling me - Everything will be fine & kept comforting me…
While you Still Choose Not to disclose the prognosis of this pain I’ve been praying for
For me, Cocos love is that love from you mother
& i don’t know if it’s wrong to Ask you to Acknowledge that Love from him,
That gave me A Chance to keep on going….
2.34pm
Just a mother here, Asking The Divine Mother, to Acknowledge the life of her Child, so what if he came on four paws- he was Ours & he brought to me Thy Light!
That’s all Swami… This Answer, This Closure I seek is that in your eyes- Cocos life is Validated, because of how he stood by, & made the way & saved me!
4.22pm
& just a few minutes to the above heart felt- Swami sends this message, Where they are singing- O Lord Please Come into the temple of my heart.
Link to Above post
So i tell him, You are Already there, Within the temple of my heart…As you’ve Shown me in the morning with the Vision.
And he’s there in the temple of each & every heart here. It’s Only Ones Awareness that makes them Realise this…
Yet, I’ll just Be Quiet, because for whatever maybe the reason- you are quiet too & not answering me……
4.30pm
& As i finish uploading today’s post & the above painting- he tells me from within- “Chala Santhosham Bangaroo- looks good!”
5.22pm
In The End of each story of a life- That sought God in Everything… It truly Matters Not- how the world looked at you…For they didn’t know the Beauty of your Heart But what Matters is That How Did Bhagwan looked at your life here upon this earth & that’s All i asked of him- For Cocos life & my life…
7.29pm
So today His Silence,
Feels like that heavy rock is once again placed upon my heart & soul. That Rock that i felt upon Cocos passing….
& those tears that still weep in my every Silence!!!
That’s All! Because Only God is A Witness to each life & it’s untold pain- As He’s the Heart, Who lived that life through that Soul! Hence this Acknowledgement from Swami is All that Matters to me & if a mother won’t ask that Blessings for her Only Child- then Who Will???
7.35pm
Once again today it’s that Rock upon my soul & Choking pain- that i failed you Coco…
later this post he sends- Where I feel- it’s him & me, standing holding hands & there’s a beautiful song .
Sometimes it’s Best to remain Silent in this pain.
Above link to post
17th January 2026
He just breaks into a poem…
To that Abhishek that’s Offered to me;
That is how your Soul Breathes…
I love you dearly- very deep, I know thy heart prayers even before they’re born upon thy lips;
Nirmal Pure Essence is of Thy Heart; When you ask of thy Child; that “did I notice him”;
You But Only Ask that was his love as “Pure- Like Sai”.
Yes My Child, let it be known through this Cosmos upon which My Light Breathes- Coco was that Love Sweet- Born from the Prayer of Gods lips.
& from fabric of my very soul- He sang to hearts- “For whom all Music was Lost!”
And with That pure Love- He Opened many a doors! For That Love of A Thousand Mothers resides in the heart of each!
And Coco was that Love too.
Anyone who Breathes Gods Hope,
to the one who’s crushed under the pains of life-
Is Verily Placed there As My Blessings,
To Breathe in A New Life!
Don’t let your Heart be pained, My Beloved!
For Coco is in my heart & there he shall forever remain.
“I Acknowledge His Life here- O Mother”,
if that is what you wished to know- When earlier you asked…
For His love still safeguards you & shows you,
“to See thyself through the eyes of God”
Hence Now you too walk Fearlessly upon the songs of thy heart! Don’t shed a tear now,
Don’t cry, For Coco was My Grace upon thee,
For I knew “Love Alone”, is what one needs,
When pain gets insurmountable in Ones life!
He still looks upon you, from within my heart-
For True Love Never die- Even Whilst bodies depart!
10.17am
Hence I came to you this morning saying- “Come”, For Coco says “Don’t Close your Heart now… again mom!”
Why Fear When this Love Stands by you! Sing of this Love My Beloved- For Love like Music speaks from the heart.
I have No Words to share How Loving His Love is- Cause yesterday night in deep pain, heart-broken,
I wrote to him-
Swami, Whenever you Wish to Share this work, You tell me, But from my end…There’s Nothing much left to ask Nor pray.
1.26am
& left the chit at His Lotus Feet.
Yes my heart was Closed in the pain…..that
Why didn’t Swami Acknowledge Cocos love…in context to how he stood by me in this pain.
& Now once again He opened that door for me, Showing this Love Of A Thousand Mothers.
I Believe, Baba doesn’t want us to go through life- With A Closed-Heart ever, No matter what life sends our way. He makes sure that the pain of life doesn’t Shut this door within- Where he Resides.
Hence in the morning Vision-
I saw him in a White dress, Smiling & with his Right hand beckoning me- Come! Come!
As to say, Come within this heart again.
& when I woke up, I couldn’t understand what he was trying to communicate-
It’s Only after he made me aware of the deeper significance of that simple word- “Come”,- with the words in the poem- Did I truly understand the profoundity of its meaning.
Baba I Shall Rest in This Love Now- that makes sure that One’s Heart doesn’t ever get numb in pain- But As Gods Love Breathes!
Later Swami sends me this video message, Where lord Hanuman is seen wearing a white dhoti, While Hanuman ji is always in reddish-orange clothes. So to me it’s that lil sign from Swami to reconfirm that the message in the poem came from him
As today mornings vision, he’s came to me wearing a white gown.
Above link to the post
& this message too here, was again A Sign that the above poem & it’s words too- Came from His Heart.
Acknowledging Coco’s life & Love, as that
“Love of A Thousand Mothers”
Above link to the post
A year to Coco’s passing- through a dream-
Swami showed me-
Coco was laying on Swamis lap, while he kept petting him & saying- “Our Coco, Our Coco”.
& here too in the above link, Shirdi Baba is petting a dog, seated upon his lap…
So what more signs can a mother ask for- Weather in Swamis eyes-her child’s life was Blessed…
& in what a Soul-touching way he’s closing this with the above beautiful sign,
Along with all the lil-lil signs of White dress he wore & hanumanji & lord Rama too were shown wearing in the post.
All of this just goes to show, the Length at which Swamis goes to shower His Love!
O My God, here too hanuman jis message is Reflecting the same thought- of lil-lil signs.
To this love- My Heart Deeply Touched & Overwhelmed broke down in a poem- which he inspires me to share with a painting done on 12th October 2023
Animals Breathe with Songs of earth & Soil Sweetened by rains.
They live upon the Simplicity of their Hearts;
Fully Present in the Now- For unlike humans-
they don’t carry stories of their past.
They Only know to Love; Whilst Forgiveness is
An Human Endeavour. They Teach with their Silence- A Silence born from Giving,
From a place beyond Empathy.
For like God they are One wit pain
& in that Oneness-
Where Empathy;
too seem to fall short…
For they’re One with you in Heart;
Whilst seemingly appear as two-bodies.
Hence they know thy pain Without you saying a word & understand as God within does!
But Only when you can listen- How Animals Breathe.
Then shall you know- They Never Once Divulge away from the path- They are meant to be!
2.51pm
i know we often say- Humans are higher on the evolution ladder-
But after Experiencing Cocos love, I Know-
he doesn’t need to come down in a human form- “to evolve”,
Because He knew to Love as God Loves!
Once again the pain got out of hand through the day & I tell Swami in my heart,
“This Pain is taking is taking its toil upon me
& I’m feeling I’ve lost so much time”,
“Now You have to make sure that - I Don’t Fail Sai, & you have to completely turn the tables in my life”
& to that thought of don’t let me fail, this very message
Above link to the post
18th January 2026
Baba, Everytime you’ve asked me to Share something- regarding my illness Or something that was life changing with the way you impart teachings from within my heart-
It’s Always been Overruled!
So Frankly speaking i don’t even Wish to Share this work with anyone. Cause i feel- It’s Better to Remain Silent with the Grace you shower upon me- Rather than wash it down by the way it’s met-that is Overruled & Not Believed!
So this time i feel- I don’t Wish to Share my personal journey through this pain-
Baba when One is Not met with Kindness-
Then One prefers to walk away In Silence-
Not wishing to share anymore
2.43am
PS: I had No Fear that Swami gave me a sign by acknowledging Coco’s life yesterday, that this lupus is the life-threatening kind…
But for some reason I didn’t want to share that here.
Later again these words from within-
“My Child- You’re Blessed Now- History won’t Repeat anymore”-
Your Baba
9.09am
& to reinforce the above message- again a sign to keep going & share
link to above post
Again Blessings of his love
link to above post
Since he gave me the sign yesterday - So just to Re-confirm, I ask him again in chits - writing if my illness is mild Or life threatening…
& He answers with the chit that lands inside near his feet.
Upon which it’s written-
“Swami, Now that you’ve asked me to Share this with Cocos life Acknowledgement, So the lupus I’ve been living with is Life-threatening”
10.10am
While the one with mild written, lands outside.
So Swami even through chits reconfirms it & gives me the Go- signal to share this here.
Later again From within Swami says this to me-
“Send them Love- Send them Love”,
to All those who couldn’t understand my pain & how truly taxing it was given the diagnosis that Swami revealed today.
So in my heart I immediately see those souls- their faces, While from my heart to theirs,
Rays of Pure Golden light & Vibrations of White energy flows- upon a beam & it illuminates their hearts,
& there in I see Swamis face smiling, With one hand blessing! And all of their pain & darkness has been absolved away by Swamis presence there, that darkness & pain their fears that made them act in a certain way towards me, their anger too dissolves with The Presence of Swamis Love. Their Closed doors of Hearts Opening to that Love within- That God within-As A Heart is verily their True Being”
And in sharing this Love,
I feel such love within my own soul- Where everyone is freed & liberated! And then that love goes from soul after souls until it covers this entire human race, this earth & cosmos.
12.57pm
When Coco opened the door of my heart numb by pain- He let in God & that’s all Gods Love does- He Opens the Closed doors of All His Children’s Heart to this Knowing that A Far Greater Force is carrying & loving them.
They Need not Fear Life, Nor Death. For Fear truly doesn’t Exist. And Death is simply a change of dress.
The Reason why we wayward to live by this Heart, is Because we think there’s No one to help us through life’s challenge’s. That we are on our own!
& hence this Fear sets in & takes the form of Anger, Jealousy, Hatred when our desires don’t get fulfilled. And that in-turn brings our downfall.
But Love is like this light of Sun within- that when it shows itself- All Clouds of Thoughts of Separation & Fear simply Vanish!
Love can Never Fail anyone….For Love is how God Breathes!
1.08pm.
Later this message right in line with what he told me above- “Send them Love”, for he’s love!
link to above post
& then again the message that He Alone is the doer, Never carry Hatred for those who any have Hurt you!
Swami,
You have Fulfilled your Promise of telling me- The Name- Diagnosis & even the prognosis of this illness. As I was sharing this with both mom & Atul today, that He literally has handed me down everything needed for this work. Even to the extent of how the paintings should be done- through Visions.
I in no way can Claim doing anything here, He’s the Doer- The writer, The messenger, The one who Inspires, The One who paints, The One who shall Receive too as I did. The One who shall reach countless hearts through this Grace! And Swami Now once I get the Sign of your Blessing’s to Share this Love- This Prasadam, I’ll go ahead & Share it with All!
Till then….Only Gratitude form my heart & soul for taking me through all of these beautiful experiences & lessons & Showing me the way to my heart within.
May this love Guide & Heal countless beings. For truly this work here is verily The Heart Of God, for the healing of both one’s mind & body! May Swamis Grace touch the Hearts of All His Children’s & open doors to A Knowing That heart within is None But Him!
Jai Sai Ram!!!
6.30pm
Later messages
Link to above post
After finishing writing the above- Something within felt incomplete- That the Sharing of this work should take place with the Promise he gave for healing. It felt incomplete & not Right by Heart, Even though I asked him- Should we share the work now… Yet it felt incomplete without the healing promised through this work.
Thought I felt imagine, for 24yrs through such pains that is life-threatening he’s kept me here.
By His Sheer Grace & Love! Holding that thread of my life- When in pains countless times I had felt- I’ll slip & die…True Not even a leaf moves without His Will!
Hence this call from within found it’s words-
Beloved I had laid this prayer at your feet, Wouldn’t it be Nice if you’d say “Thathastu” to this…
Let there be Healing now for both of us,
So in Unison we’d walk towards thee, towards Love!
For This Heart of God was painted to show- That Healing is given- When he enters your life & soul-
O Beloved, Then “Will thou Not come to our home”
Will Thou not Give us An Healing & Experience that shall melt away All of Our Sorrows!
& If ever Coco should come again as our child- Then Beloved from thy very hands thou have to place him in mine,
& Give us A New Beginning & Blessings of Our Lives!
For let us Not walk Bereft of this Experience;
That we are in thy Embrace & Thous Alone can Kiss upon us- “This Need of Needs”, Carried for lifetimes, Within Ones Souls-innermost being!
For Healing thou Promised- than let this Blessings of Heart Of God- Be Fulfilled,
& By thy Grace & Grace Alone!!!
O Come Save Us- Save me!!!
For Other than thou- Whom can we ever Call
As Our Very Own & The Only Refugee!
After writing this heart-felt-
Now this feels Complete…
8.32pm
One of my College friend sent me this message. As she & i are both trying to finish our paintings to be exhibited. And mine is all based on Love-
Coco & Swamis love.
So right now to receive this message yet again is Baba reaching out to my earlier heart-felt prayer for Healing & Blessings-
that won’t you come save me???
Link to Above post
After he told me in the above message- Not with effort But ease…, My heart broke into a heartfelt note to him. And after writing my feelings, Swami inspired that I should share them with these 2 paintings that were painted back in 2024.
This painting below was painted on 17th June 2024
This painting was shared on 21st July 2024
Swami inspired that along with the painting, I should even share the link of that work- With a poem I had shared back then with it.
Baba is my heart ready to Receive it with ease, not effort- Only you can tell that Beloved…
9.54pm
Swami- you ask is my heart Ready to Receive,
i say- There’s Only Heart, There’s Only Heart- what more is there left to Dissect off this heart- All you’ll Find is Love- Love- Love Pulsating from within! So there’s Neither- Effort- Nor Ease- Simply A Heart of Love that Breathes!!!
10.42pm
Upon Light Thy Sit- As Love Thy Breathe; Within me- thou sing- Yet thou say- Not through Effort- But Ease;
Beloved thou still wish for me to Think-
When this Light has Swallowed it Whole- Mind
& it’s need to conjure outcomes to it’s pleasing!
For Effort & Ease are doing of ones mind-
Whilst Heart simply Pulsates in its Love Divine! The Mind Needs to be ready to reach that place of ease-
But Beloved The Heart As Thy Love Knows Nothing- But to Love- & Love Alone it Breathe!
So here i place this Heart at thy lotus feet-
Let it Pulsate Or Be Crushed under the pains of times- It Shall either bloom Or leave it’s fragrance,
Either ways- Love Alone is the Essence- Of A
Die-Mind!!!
10.53pm.
Love is the place where All Efforts Cease! Beloved this work wasn’t born of Efforts- But Love Giving Itself- Completely!
Later Swami sends this message as I tell him, even if you dissect the heart into pieces, there’s only love
Link to the post above
19th January 2026
For some Reason Swami kept sending me this message over & over again- That if you’ve Prayed for something to God, Asked from him something, then until it doesn’t happen- Never give in.
Even this message below too is that assurance of believing….
Link to the above post
But for some reason, the pain had got so very intense since morning- that I feel washed out,
Even of the need to ask- As I’ve traversed so much within my heart- that asking for something feels like an entity who’s Outside of Swami, Outside of God!
When in Truth there’s Nothing But Swami,
So my heart pours out into poetry.
Which again swami inspires that I should share it with paintings of an earlier post, along with the link to that post here. This paintings were shared on 18th July 2024, that I’m sharing here with the poem below.
The link above is to the post
I’ve become So Empty; Yet Fulfilled!
So Quiet; Yet as Poetry, dance upon his lips;
As Breath-Fresh of A Newly born baby;
In a body ailing- Yet in a place of Souls-Peace!
Eternally resting as breath of God- Yet He keeps reminding me- “That Pray until you get what you’ve asked for…”
Beloved you’ve dissolved me & given thyself-
Now thou Pray for the healing of this pain-
“Which in Truth is Only yours to bear!”
10.53am
Later this beautiful video of Swamis Darshana comes up & even while I’m seeing it, sinking in very bad pain- in my heart I tell him-
“I Hope I see your one hand Blessing form in this video baba”, to comfort me.
& in the end Swamis one hand blessing is shown. So see how Swami traverses even the time-line. Past- Present- Future. For me he’s giving live Darshana & reaching out to my thought- Especially when I need him the most.
Swami you gave this work as An Assurance of Healing for Both Mind & Body.
Swami you’ve already prayed for me,
Much before I asked for that healing. You already art that Breath that makes this life going…
You Alone know it’s pain & the fragility upon which it breathes…What shall thou ask me to look for Now-Within.
When all that is-
Is But Thy Presence of Love,
O Beloved even if thou melt gold- Even as Liquid it is Water-Gold.
So who shall pray to whom now you tell me that…. For to pray I’ll have to step out in the ignorance that My Beloved doesn’t know- how through this pain I’ve bled!
When in Truth He Struggles to breathe from within. And yet upon His Sheer Grace each breath of his immense love sings.
The body may collapse- But the Heart is One Now- Do you see thyself in this Souls-Reflection…
You Know it All- You Bear it All- You Endure & carry me & Have Alreday Prayed for the upliftment of this soul!
Beloved when God Promised Healing-
It’s Only when He had Already Prayed for his Child’s Complete Well-being!
I too am the fabric of Gods Soul!
& Now this body Shall HEAL because within it’s Heart- It’s WHOLE! 12.51pm
Baba it’s Not Much Actually….Coming to your home here…When you Already dwell within my Heart!
1.35pm
Swami,
When Shesha Sai found my jeep, then He shall only Bring you to me…bring you here in flesh & Heart, Bring you here To Finsih what was Promised to me- At The Very Start!
Even Whilst thou alone sit beside,
Whence through that Vision thou showed me-
My palm in thy hands, While you saying- “Everything will be Alright, Don’t Worry, As A Rock i stand beside!”
1.53pm
& That’s how I feel thy Presence in my life….But Now you yourself have to come here- My Beloved Sai.
Beloved Now in thy Heart show- Coco & me Reside
For Love as the wave has merged in the Ocean. & Truth has Swallowed all me & mine, Now this Body too is thine!
2.00pm
Later I write to him…
Hanuman ji Kya karte,
If He would See you in so much pain…The way I’m in…For aren’t we One- Sai Rama, Aren’t we One- like Coco was to me…Tell me Hanuman ji kya karte….Seeing you sinking, dying, unable to Breathe in this pain, Brain-fogged with Zero energy like me???
3.45pm
if for Laxman he could get Sanjeevani butti, then what would he get for me…. Because the body feels like it’s dying- While the Soul Pines to be held in a love- Where Weightless this pain becomes & No longer Suffocates this breathing. If Only this Heart is One within- then Reach Out.
3.48pm
later Swami reaches out with such heart-felt messages…
Immediately after Coco’s passing,
When I had first time gone to the park- honouring his life, that no matter the pain, I’ll continue painting & not give in. That time Swami sent a lady, who too was a pet lover & knew Coco.
But that day out of the blue she said- “Coco & my bond is very strong. He will come back again for us”.
We both were in tears.
Basically she’s an animal communicator & one of her dog who had passed on- had come again as her dog after passing. These Animal communicators even help when the dogs or cats or any pets are still alive, and are in some pain. The pets communicate their feelings through them to their soul parents who are humans. So it’s not unusual, when they try to sent a message.
But just as few days to when Coco passed on,
to receive this message made me cry & I told her- “Coco has done a lot for me, he’s selflessly stood by me & I can never ask anything more from him”,
but she kept insisting he will come again as your pet child. So I left it on Swami- that if ever Coco comes again, it should only be because of your will & you yourself have to get him in your very own hands. As I saw him last on your lap.
Later in the years, Baba would sent many message’s that coco will come again. But every time I’d leave it on him. & again today he’s sent this message to share here.
20th January 2026
Today after many weeks, I could go for my morning walk. As Swami gave me a good rest in the night.
So whilst I was walking in the park, there was such Peace in the sway of trees, the Sun-kissed winter mornings carry a Fragrance of Love & the various spots & corners where Coco & I walked came alive as memories- Happy-Akin to the earth that was carrying the whispers of it’s roots- Where insects sing to the trees…
& trees as “Prayers” to His Sky stood.
I was simply Grateful for this slow walk,
All The Whilst saying “Thank You, Thank You, Thank You!”, to both Baba & this entire earth & creation, who were a silent witness through all the walks that Coco & I took.
Sometimes in the Rush of life- most forget to see the Beauty around Or to even be Grateful for a simple walk.
But when life Pauses you every now & then, You understand the value of being able to do simple things- like walking, Breathing, Living.
And as I turned the corner & was just a few distance away from heading home, my legs were weighing down again with pain of nerve trigger upon my scalp- breathless.
But when I exited the gates of the park- I see Swami- His face & just the upper body- spread out like a vast sky & he literally pulls me up, like my feet are floating mid air, lifting me up & Embraces me, saying- “You’re Not Alone, You’re Not Alone, You’re Not Alone!”, & holds me in his embrace for some time.
I check the time & it’s 9.am
Later he gives this message
Above link to the post
to the above heart felt experience , I wonder how he does this, to that He Answers with the message in the post- he doesn’t need words to communicate- just by the flick of his fingers, he can do anything!
The reason why I mention See him, while describing the experience above is because,
the Vision are given, While my eyes are still wide open, and I can see the entire scene being played in my heart, While I was still walking home.
I don’t have words to express this love, for he can communicate even by a look, by vision- no words
I felt that close embrace within my soul.
Like how hanumanji must have felt when lord Rama embraced him.
Though my heart is Not like that of Hanumanjis in the way he served Lord Rama. He was A Mountain of A Devotee & I’m probably not even the dust at his feet.
But there was this love of Oneness- where it wasn’t two bodies, But everything Dissolving in Love- I guess this is how death of One’s body too is. One sheds that limitedness of ones body into An Embrace of Love so vast.
I was Grateful But Quiet, Because Sai knew the pain I was in Yesterday- it was way too intense & I had cried- telling him,
“why can’t you show your love to me???”
As this pain feels like I’m dying…
& lil did I know that Swami would show His Love in Such A Beautiful way…I simply walked back home- quietly, uttering- Sai, Sai!
He did fulfil the promise he gave yesterday -
Baba says- “Your eyes will be full of tears with love. Keep the feeling in the mind that Sri Sai baba knows every thing and surrender to him. Then see what happens in 24 hours.”
12.46pm
later this beautiful Video of his Darshana, For he only knows to Give, Give, Give!
Above link to the post
No sooner to expressing this love & Joy of the vision- just 3 minutes have passed & He again inspires me to check the insta… from within my heart
& what is to Occur…….i mean…I’m smiling with tears still pooling around my eyes- Containing, holding this Love- lest they shall trickle down..
he gave the sign to the above Vision this morning & how…
Link to the above post
Whilst the hair upon my spine stood in Joy,
like he’s again Embraced my soul!
Embraced to Show- I Love You, I Love You….
As tears welled up, leaving a sweet smile upon my lips- the feeling when-
“When Beloved Kisses Ones Soul From Within…”,
I know I’ve done NOTHING- to deserve this Love- Yet he Graces me with This Love & Presence within. As many times I’d say- in this extreme pain- “Baba, Why have you kept me here….You Should have taken me with Coco!”, cause I’d be dying in this pain & Nothing would make sense…
I know I’m Not Deserving of this Love, But all I can say is- If Not For Swamis Love in the form of Coco, Atul, my parents then I’d probably would have given up.
I still don’t know, Why His Grace has Kept me here….But my heart is welling up with such Sweetness- That it’s leaving His Vibhuti Fragrance right upon the tip of my tongue.
He has Acknowledge this service of a tiny squirrel, who may have lifted a tiny stone in his mission of vast love to show- You’re in My Embrace too.
O My God! The Beauty of this Lord,
Who can swallow all of your pains, & my tears of yesterdays, he’s transformed them into tears of Joy, Sweetness & Gratitude!
My heart is unable to contain this Love from him, hence it’s pouring out in words. I don’t think we can ever show Gratitude to him- The way God shows Gratitude to us!
Even yesterday whilst I was in excruciating pain…
(I have to interject this thought here to mention- the Vibhuti sweet fragrance is growing strong even while I’m writing this & embracing me….
With so much sweetness that my tongue is tasting sweet…. as Swamis love is Ceaselessly flowing)
So to pick up with the above thought-, yesterday I asked Coco in my heart- “Did I make him proud”, since he passed on, while my body kept falling apart… & I feel this is Swamis way to tell me-
yes Coco is proud.
1.12pm
later this beautiful post
above link to the post,
Yesterday when I asked him- “What would hanumanji do, seeing you in so much pain- as we are one, so my pain is yours only”, The Answer is Hanumanji, brought Baba itself to me.
6.03pm
link to above message
21st January 2026
Swami as Shesha Sai- Will you answer regarding where is this health problem going now. Cause I’m very tired living this way with this Failing health. You came as Shehsa Sai to find the wheels of my life- then why am i still stuck in such unbearable pains my Sai???
I’m draining & sinking bad in this pain upon my scalp! Please Now End this pain chapter from our lives. I’ve prayed for complete healing for both of us.
Or let me in Peace- Die.
For it’s Enough My Sai!
1.04am
Above link to Swamis Assurance one more time
Even in it’s Wait; The water drop is always One with the Ocean- When it Rises- It’s Reflection & When it Falls- its Mergence!
Either way- it’s Just a tiny drop of the Vast-Ocean.
8.45am
Swami, Weather I’m here Or Not here- as per thy Will, it’s Fine. But make sure this work of our love is Shared!
8.54am
SRI SATHYA SAI SEVA SAMITI, VALSAD on Instagram: "Let us resign in your divine hands, dear Swami...!
Above link to the message, on similar lines Swami sends
Do As you Please Mother- This is your body, your pain, your story, your life- For Only you can be the life-force that makes this body Breathe! So do as you please!
Again from within that lil voice-
“Now it is My Heart Within.”
9.57am
Above link to the post
Sai maa, Now you go First! For Everything-
“I’m Done taking on this Heat!”
And now when you reach-out,
Reach such that our lives are aligned with the countless signs of thy Promises!
2.00pm
Beloved you are still giving me hope to keep going- from moment to moment & from within saying- Pray- “Baba Breathe through me- Even Whist it is You- Who Breathes me!”
4.50pm
Mother wherever thou wish to take me- Take me!
Only don’t let me be at the mercy of life or anyone, make sure the bodily needs are attended & even my dharma to make meals.
You’ve got me so far- I’ve relied & leaned only on you- as i didn’t wish to end up being paralysed.
So make sure you will give me the strength- No matter how the pain gets, I should be able to take care of my bodily business & even home needs.
And make sure- Now you paint through me too as you Breathe for me,
Even this painting of our Coco which for some reason- Doesn’t seem to get finished!
You Finish this work of love now.
That’s all maa!
Right now too the pain has crossed all threshold-
i can’t Breathe & i feel I’ll die!
I’m not afraid of dying. But you keep my dignity until my last breath that’s all!!! That’s all!!!
Maybe you should show me in real time as in some MRI or futuristic diagnostic ways what’s happening within this body.
“Itna toh banta hain maa”after bearing such pains silently for 24yrs.
Some futuristic-Swami diagnostic-technology…
that shows me- what No Test here was able to reveal.
4.59pm
Once again Signs of His Assurance that he will come to our home & he’s aware of the problem
22nd January 2026
Again That lil Voice from within…
When i take everything from someone then,
I’m Obliged to give back a thousand folds.
The pain & loss of all your years- Shall be replaced by Something So Beautiful,
& so much more.
5.45am
Pain has a way of weighing you down & for some reason Swami has managed to keep the gravity of this illnesses & it’s impact hidden from all scientific tests.
i even told him- You’re the Giver of life & you have Every Right to end it too.
Yesterday Night after posting the last message,
We went for a walk at Shivaji Park.
As the entire day the pain was unbearable,
So he had inspired me to go & pray there.
& luckily Atul being around- he could drive us both ways.
He said pray for this work too- But with this pain weighing i was simply quiet. And i told him- there’s truly Nothing more left to add now Swami. Yesterday’s was the last chapter.
Now whensoever you ask me to Share this work- I’ll Share & that’s it.
& I tell him, Given both the physical & that feeling of loss weighing upon my soul-
Who’s even going to be interested in reading about a life like mine- & this loss of- health, work, youth, years due to this illness.
Whilst the Only thing constant is this- Pain.
Who’s gonna want to read this…Feeling that
“Hope he Never asks me to share this work”.
& Until Swami doesn’t intervene it’s just the same old story…
So rather than filling in with the same facts,
day in day out…it’s Better to remain Silent.
& Only when he asks me to share- ill share!
But the lengths, that Swami goes to make his presence evident- As i kept seeing him- that Orange vibration moving in my heart…
& then he sends this very picture;
Exactly the way he showed me His face,
back then in the Vision when he had mentioned it’s “lupus”
Later again i try to catch some sleep as i was awake till 2am & barely slept a few hours,
So while trying to sleep, i listen to a talk, to help me counter the pain
& in the talk the devotee shares, How Swami gave the Assurance- “I Will Never Disappoint my devotees”,
So the Timing is such that, he’s once again re-assuring what he told me this morning,
that he shall make up for the loss.
10.26am
Below is the link to the talk
& then again this message
above link to the post
Swami, I Never Doubt it won’t work, It’s just that I’m tired of this pain now…
The Pain feels like it’s eating me up from inside. The nerves trigger upon scalp with that intense burning & breathlessness.
& When i saw this above picture of Baba. It felt like he’s taking on my pain. His eyes are shut as mine usually are, Whenever I’ve expressed this pain through self-portrait & my heart broke into a poem…
See how this Neelkanth Shiv has taken over my pain- As he sits there with eyes shut & He shows me what is to be Held & Loved!
Maybe when God takes upon him our pain- he shows the storms of darkness - that we, in Fortitude-braved.
And he turns dark- to Reveal the Face of a pain- that our Silent tears too couldn’t give away…
For if Shiva could drink the Poison So that His Creation be saved-
Then at what lengths can He go to show the love to His Child- For whom there’s No Way!
Yes God takes on the Pain of His Child-
in Extreme Love- Unable to see us cry & Bears it all- In Silence; To Show-
“Gods Love for its Beloved is beyond the comprehension of any mind!”
For He’s Willed for you A New Life-
Hence even death like shadow- “Untouched -passes by”
6.59pm
Swami I’ll share the above poem & the picture, Only if you tell me that you’ve saved me from dying, many a times. Because i know you did.
So i shall Only include the above poem if you reach out with Truth. Cause you have to go first. That’s all.
11.59pm
i waited till next day, if i should share the above picture or not… these below thoughts i wrote to him on 23rd early morning…
In my heart, I told Swami, I’ll only include the poem of why Baba turned dark- if he gives me a sign…
that my feelings expressed were coming from him only.
1.59am
But later even though i barely slept 2hours, & was awake ushering the Dawn- Swamis clarity breathes within as the Sun!
To Share that Baba did take my pain upon him & has multiple times saved my life, I just Know that in My Heart & Sharing it here, just feels right!
Maybe someday he shall reveal to me this Truth too…But until then- i shall go ahead with my heart & share it
8.01am
23rd January 2026
In my life seeing A Rainbow has always been a sign of Swamis coming- He making His Presence Visibly evident in some ways!
So this message here is his Blessings!
Above link to the post
Beautiful bhajan & darshan of Swami- above link
When God becomes Silent; The Heart too should reside in its Peace; Knowing- He’s Here to Keep!!!
& has Already taken care of your Everything’s!
10.21am
(this below message & post, I waited for 2days & then I shared on 25th)
Again that lil Voice from within-
“Beloved- A lot of damage has occurred within the frame of your body,
Upon my Sheer Grace the life within Breathes!
I’ve Saved you many times- without a single soul noticing!
“You’re Here As Sai Babas Grace”,
& to Fulfil the Promise that “Love Never Fails of this Lord- For Rescuing it’s Simple devotee!””
11.43am
Later to the above message- My heartfelt
My every breath is woven with Gratitude for Him
For what can be more Fragrant then Offering of this Heart- that But knows-
It Breathes here- Because He Wills it So!
For have you ever seen
A Heart that has to be forced to Beat- Nay it Beats Solely, For it’s The Will & Love of this God; that makes The Heart-Sing!
I pray My Heart But Only emanates This Fragrance of Gratitude, more than any flowers bought from some marketplace,
This Sweetness Shall Never Fade- This Love shall only be an Offering that He Never Once Gave Up on me- Even though countless times- life within me had wilted & fade!
1.18pm
I’m Dissolved in you & You’re Dissolved in me Two arms- One Breath, Holding itself, Containing Love-Life such that None can tell- Who’s holding who-That’s How Love Holds itself!
1.59pm
& then again that lil voice from within…
whilst I was finishing the painting
These are the arms of God that carried you in His Love
6.28pm
There’s a constant embrace I feel of his arms around my heart & soul
6.31pm
Swami I shall Only share the above message you gave me regarding “Damage within my body”, Once you give a direct sign, like earlier signs when you said it’s lupus.
A Tangible sign that cannot be overruled. Especially when Nothing comes in any test.
Because otherwise it shall be watered-down as coming from me & not you!
12.00am
24th January 2026
The Quiter God stands, the more this Heart within Sings.
Even as He says “Everything is damaged within the frame of my body”,
See how he’s Embraced my heart- which truly is His Heart Only…
& how strongly of life it beats!
But to know the love of this God- you’ll have to be Silent; To heed to its every heart-beat,
that within your ear, Echoes-Endlessly!
For his love has wrapped me in a blanket of Silence & His arms still hold me-
As Now This Heart within- Is Him!
8.47am
with every heart beat I could heed, that his grace has kept me here…But I’ll remain Silent until he gives A Sign to include yesterdays message
Link to above post
the heart isn’t heavy Swami, rather it’s reminding me that you’re carrying me in your arms with it’s every beat.
But I don’t know why you still haven’t reached out to me….
With the sign I asked for.
For the pain has got much worse this entire day today, I don’t even know how I’m going on with a pain like this, that’s not allowing me to breathe. I don’t know why have you kept me here still going….
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