In Coco’s Eyes, I’m Bootiful!

O will you Breathe through me

For this is how I’ve walked, Wearing A Smile, Through most of these Lupus Flares

Breathe thru me

For maybe I’ll be able to speak to you now

Yet in the very next instance I’ll struggle thru my every breath

Breathe thru me

For your eyes simply see the long locks

Of my cascading hair

& judge me by the Color of lipstick that my heart longs to wear

Yet I laugh & smile at your lil mind that can’t help But judge

Fixated more on the body, With a tint of Jealousy for these curls,

You see me as you see yourself

Thinking we’re simply our minds & bodies

Unable to understand how pain quietly bleeds through my nerves & tissues &

At a slightest touch leaves me moaning

The lids of my eyes have swollen,

For pain sews the nerves beneath them tight

& spreads across my scalp, till I struggle to breathe in a Brain-fog

With waves after waves of Unbearable pain, like I’m about to die!

Yet even thru such pains I lift my spirit With Cocos love wearing a smile

For I had promised him- No matter what comes- “I’ll Always choose this life!”

You are lost in the Color of my lipstick, trying to put me in a box

Whilst my spirit laughs at your mind & those lil lil judgemental thoughts

“O see her earrings, that bracelet, how pretty she seems today

I bet She’s lying about her pain”,

So what if my eyes to them But reveal constant fatigue & tiredness

I’ve spent decades locked up in a body where pain takes it all

& so when I step out, I choose life, sunshine & paint my lips, Showing -

“Pain you’ll Never Steal my Soul!”

So if you see me looking like this & all your mind can do is judge!

Know that dying every second in a body,

I’ve surpassed your Needs of

“Bodily-identities & Acknowledgments”,

That In which your mind is so damn caught!

For this is how thru chronic pain I’ve lived

Embracing & Accepting all uncertainty it brings

& while your mind can only perceive

“a pretty picture of me”,

Know that I’ve braved a storm & am still doing so, While I step out to let some air,

Soothe the pain beneath the pores of my skin

©️Meghna/2023

#InCocoseyesImBootiful